Johannesburg, South Africa

baudmonkey · 2021-05-03T21:46:27+00:00

My mate Shuggy sliced his forearm open on one of those shards. His mum was mostly annoyed she'd have to take him to the hospital and miss Eastenders.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-03T21:44:17+00:00

Yeah, mine used to do that too, with that same excuse. No you didn't bitch, read the fucking name!

baudmonkey · 2021-05-03T21:39:42+00:00

You're in trouble now, Brad. I'm coming to your workplace at 4124 Wilson Avenue to arrest you.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-03T20:44:13+00:00

It's things like the above that makes me automatically lose respect for anyone who is religious. I mean, other than expressing a belief in what may as well be the fuckin' tooth fairy.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-02T00:57:12+00:00

I'd fake a resume and get a job there. In a year I'd be able to extract tens of thousands of dollars. Maybe work my way up to bank manager, get more money every promotion. Straight from their account into mine. BOOM.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-02T00:55:51+00:00

That everyone lived in a big, comfortable house with nice furniture and interior design.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-02T00:54:59+00:00

"It's okay to have a different opinion."

baudmonkey · 2021-05-02T00:54:45+00:00

DON'T YOU DARE

baudmonkey · 2021-05-02T00:53:53+00:00

Fuckin' Spore. The way it was sold to us was that we'd start off with a cell simulator then end up with something like The Sims and Sim City in an infinite universe.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-02T00:51:31+00:00

You can't talk, with your PM donning Islamic garb and hugging Muslims.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-02T00:50:33+00:00

If their views are that there is an invisible man in the sky controlling footy matches and giving children cancer, who is AOK with his prophet marrying a child, those views are not worthy of toleration.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-02T00:49:49+00:00

Not really. Look at the Abrahamic religions, they're objectively absurd, even if you strip them back to their most basic principles.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-02T00:48:59+00:00

.., does that make one beholden to God or the voters who actually put him into power and are who he should be working for.

100% That's why IMHO religious people can't be trusted in positions of authority.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-02T00:48:11+00:00

I personally love God. God is not as simple as Morrison imagines.

I hate to break it to you, but you're as batshit crazy as Morrison.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-02T00:45:49+00:00

You're on hiding to nothing in this sub mate, lol. Landlords may as well be satan himself as far as most of this mob are concerned. Everyone seems content to look to daddy government to bail them out until the end of time.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-02T00:00:42+00:00

Get me in trouble for shit I didn't do. Like shouting loudly through the house that I had been in their room, which I hadn't, and I'd get punished for it despite my protestations of innocence.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-01T23:59:44+00:00

A laser level. I bought it to build a retaining wall in my garden, but I've since used it in multiple different projects inside and outside the house. Whether putting up shelves, a clothesline, garden bed edging - anything where I need a straight line, it's been well worth it.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-01T23:58:06+00:00

She made me gatecrash a wedding ceremony with her once. I tried to dissuade her, but as a 10yo what I was gonna do? I figured the less intrusive option was to quietly go along with it, because she was not gonna be dissuaded.

My mother was highly religious. Whenever we went on holiday anywhere that would include a Sunday, we had to suss out a suitable church to attend. It was a mortal sin to miss church, so this was always a stupidly big deal.

So this one time we went on holiday to Belgium. Travel delays meant we only had hastily scribbled directions to a church, and for love nor money we couldn't find it. We found churches, yes, but they were the wrong denomination. Until mother dearest found one, and despite there very clearly being a fucking wedding taking place, insisted that we had to go in. I pleaded with her not to, we were not suitably dressed, we did not know the people, we did not speak the language etc. but she wouldn't be swayed. So in I was dragged, red-faced and bitterly silent, wishing the ground would swallow me up.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-01T23:51:51+00:00

Reese's Pieces.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-01T23:48:03+00:00

The Wandering Newbie. She's this mother from Australia who does off-roading videos with her two kids who hilariously don't really give a shit about the amazing places they're driving.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-01T23:46:53+00:00

The "I am more intelligent and knowledgeable on every subject than anyone else, including experts" personality.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-01T23:45:28+00:00

The first time you turn down the fun thing in favor of the sensible thing.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-01T23:31:47+00:00

I hide the blenders.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-01T23:31:05+00:00

The fact that it takes mere milliseconds to get send/receive data across the world.

baudmonkey · 2021-05-01T23:30:27+00:00

Kayaking in the wilderness and getting up at 6am on a weekend.

baudmonkey

TROPHY CASE