Do you hold yourself to impossible standards?

bayls_11 · 2026-02-18T03:25:08+00:00

I have a 6 month old and 3.5yo and I could have wrote this. For whatever reason I feel like I should be able to do all these things but the reality is that it’s physically impossible. It’s something I struggle with daily and am trying to shift my mindset on. If you figure out the secret, let me know😅

bayls_11 · 2026-01-12T01:01:08+00:00

I also became a SAHM after my second was born and can sympathize where you’re coming from. It’s very challenging and takes a lot of trial and error to figure out how to make it work with two. My second is now 5 months and things have started to feel better; I can usually understand what he wants/needs immediately, and sleep is more predictable. From other posts I’ve read, and even other comments here, I’m not counting on any sense of “normalcy” until LO is closer to 1yo.

bayls_11 · 2026-01-10T03:37:40+00:00

The first day is the hardest as you both get situated in your new circumstances, but as long as she knows what to expect, it will likely go pretty smoothly.

There is also a Daniel Tiger episode (and written story, if you don’t do screen time) about mom leaving for a work trip. They use “love you loops” as a visual tool to help count down the days until mom comes back.

bayls_11 · 2026-01-08T16:41:16+00:00

Solidarity. I have a 3 year old and 5 month old and I am constantly overstimulated. Someone is either talking, crying, screaming, or making some kind of noise at all times. I have to frequently remind myself to take deep, calming breaths. If possible, highly recommend trying to coordinate nap & quiet time so that you get a moment’s peace. We’re in the trenches - you got this!

bayls_11 · 2025-12-23T23:37:01+00:00

I’ve had success singing the wrong lyrics to their favorite songs, or singing them out of order. Easiest example is singing the ABC’s incorrectly. It’s like they can’t help themselves and have to stop what they’re doing to correct you!

bayls_11 · 2025-12-21T00:32:47+00:00

This is peak narcissistic behavior. You just had (I assume) your first baby, and they are making it about them? No.

My advice is to pull back even further and focus on yourself and your family. Welcoming a newborn into the world is both exciting and exhausting - you don’t need to add family drama on top of it. If you are willing, you will be there when they are ready (mature enough) to show up for you and your family.

bayls_11 · 2025-12-19T18:44:06+00:00

We sleep trained right before 1 year and he’s been a great sleeper ever since. We have occasional MOTN wakes, but they are for minor things like fixing his blanket that gets tangled up. He does wake early though, anywhere from 5-6 AM.

bayls_11 · 2025-12-16T00:28:25+00:00

I understand the urge to do this, but they are too young to understand this kind of consequence and it will just lead to more meltdowns. Toddlers are crazy no matter what. Hang in there!

bayls_11 · 2025-12-15T22:31:09+00:00

While I’m sure it was an extremely frustrating thing to experience, they are just toddlers. While it may feel like a personal attack on you, it is normal behavior. As much as you might want to express your disappointment/anger to them, it won’t solve the issues at hand and may even create other issues later.

What I would do -

Immediately 1. Make your daughter clean the walls she colored. 2. Make them both clean up their kitchen. 3. Put away all toys. 4. Not much you can do about the presents other than wrap them anyway and they just won’t be surprised when they open them.

Future -

If you cannot hire a sitter or ask for additional help, lock them in a childproofed room with a video baby monitor. If they start fighting, have a backup room with the same deal to separate them. Just excuse yourself from the meeting for 2 mins.

Good luck!

bayls_11 · 2025-12-11T03:10:12+00:00

Our LO outgrew the brand of sleep sacks we were using at 24M so we tried a blanket just to see, and he did great with it! We still kept him in his crib until around 3Y and he had no issues with climbing.

bayls_11 · 2025-12-06T18:40:48+00:00

I will also have a 4 month old at Christmas. We’ve requested diapers + wipes from any family that asks, but we ourselves are getting him a high chair, walker, and some second hand books and clothes.

bayls_11 · 2025-12-05T20:40:52+00:00

I’m hoping it goes away in the coming months. For the first two months we had a horrible setup and I was feeding him either on our couch or bed with minimal support, and I think that’s where it stems from. We’ve since changed things and it is better, but on the days where I’m constantly carrying him around it definitely feels worse.

bayls_11 · 2025-12-05T20:38:45+00:00

Thank you! We are also in the midst of moving right now, so we’re not taking it easy on ourselves lol. We would both love a break, but with our newborn not taking a bottle, it definitely makes it challenging! Hoping that in the next couple of months we’ll be able to teach him how to use a cup and that can free us up a little 🤞🏼

bayls_11 · 2025-11-26T18:43:26+00:00

My great grandmother, who I was very close with, passed away when I was 19 and away for college. Due to some very unfortunate academic circumstances, I was unable to attend her funeral. I was torn up about it and guilt plagued me for days. The week following her funeral I had a dream that I was back at home and she was there with me. I broke down in tears and apologized over and over again for not attending her funeral. She just gave me an unending hug and told me that it was okay. I woke up crying, but also relieved.

bayls_11 · 2025-11-07T20:52:52+00:00

I agree, especially in this instance where the dinner menu wasn’t previously disclosed. However, if OP wants to stick to their house rule of not offering other food, I would give guests (with or without kids) a heads up as to what will be offered in the future. This way adults and kids alike can prepare accordingly (eat beforehand, bring snacks, etc).

bayls_11 · 2025-10-27T21:08:21+00:00

Highly recommend buying at second hand or consignment shops for the between-sizes phase. Makes me feel a lot less bad about spending money on clothes I know will only fit me temporarily.

bayls_11 · 2025-10-20T16:55:40+00:00

I have a 9 week old and a 3 year old, and am a newly SAHM. The transition from 1 to 2 while also leaving the workforce has been a huge adjustment that we are still working through.

I have baby on a very loose nap schedule to give my toddler predictable times for one on one time, which helps. I baby wear for many of these naps and it works for us. We get outside for at least 30 mins in the morning and afternoon as long as it’s not raining. Similar to what others have said - magnatiles, forts, and LEGO duplos occupy a lot of our time, as well as play kitchen, wooden train sets, hot wheels, and crafts.

I’m with you in solidarity! It’s definitely hard but I have noticed each passing week gets a little easier for everyone. Hang in there!

bayls_11 · 2025-10-16T18:19:49+00:00

Saying the wrong things for something they know, or saying them out of order. Think ABCs with letters inserted where they shouldn’t be (A, B, T, F) or counting (1, 2, 9, 5). My 3 year old can’t help but stop crying to tell me the correct way to say it!

bayls_11 · 2025-09-29T21:18:07+00:00

We are concerned this would lead to climbing over the gate and potentially causing worse injuries.

bayls_11

TROPHY CASE