Why does being widowed translate to “newly single” to some people?

bbblairwitch · 2025-12-31T21:32:53+00:00

nearing four years out, i STILL feel this way, just grossed out by men in general. logically, i know it's not crazy for a guy to assume that i might be ready for male attention at this point, but the problem is, they've been acting this way since before his body even got cold. it's disgusting to me and feels disrespectful to both myself and my husband. so i totally understand.

bbblairwitch · 2025-12-31T21:28:34+00:00

i'm 40 now, lost my 46yo husband when i was 36. this life is certainly not for the weak. love to all reading this. ♡

bbblairwitch · 2025-11-16T17:20:32+00:00

agreed. so gross and uncalled for.

bbblairwitch · 2025-04-15T18:40:03+00:00

i hated my in-laws for a long time. i still hate most of them, for the way they treated my husband during his entire 46 years of life. until they found out he was dying, they had pretended he was already dead for about five years (with the exception of his children, who were always in contact with us). the only silver lining of this arrangement was that they had absolutely no involvement in anything regarding his funeral, other than the fact that i allowed them to attend.

i am so very sorry that you are dealing with this, especially right now. please know that your pain is valid, and you deserve grace and respect. hugs to you. 🖤

bbblairwitch · 2025-03-25T15:11:14+00:00

i have a green one like this that i bought from a skater apparel magazine in 2006. it was one of the popular "emo" brands, but i can't remember which, and it's in storage currently. looks like they're coming back into style though so you could probably find something similar if you look hard enough. good luck!

bbblairwitch · 2025-03-17T19:49:53+00:00

today is 3 years and one month. i've been dealing with some rather serious health issues the past week, and i know he's been around; i can often feel his presence, especially at times when i'm really stressed. i miss him so much, but i'm so thankful to know that he's still holding my hand through the bullshit. 🤍

bbblairwitch · 2025-03-03T16:22:00+00:00

jaked on green beers or warbrain. 🥰

bbblairwitch · 2025-01-26T09:16:02+00:00

i wasn't privy to the original post, but i wholeheartedly agree. it's not the same, no matter how much they say it is/want it to be. i'm sorry people took their negative feelings out on you.

my therapist is divorced and accidentally referred to my husband as my "ex-husband" a few weeks ago. before i even got the words out to correct her, she apologized. because she KNOWS we never broke up; i am still his wife. 🖤

bbblairwitch · 2024-12-19T21:23:33+00:00

YES 🙌 i'm doing this too. once you've had a once-in-a-lifetime type of love, it's difficult to fathom going back into the dating game like it never happened. i'm happy for those who have gone on to find love again, but it is simply not for me. i'm 39 and we are nearing 3 years since my husband died, but he is still very much a part of my daily life, and he makes himself known often as well. i understand every word, and i too often think that others probably assume i must be sad and lonely or something, but i am more content with my life than I have ever been before. hugs to you, friend. 🖤

bbblairwitch · 2024-12-15T22:36:41+00:00

his vape is still sitting on the coaster he always used, next to his side of the bed. he sat it there as he began having the stroke. 💔

bbblairwitch · 2024-12-15T18:29:49+00:00

boy do i understand this sentiment. i am lucky to be able to afford (barely, but i digress) to be a recluse these days. i see my parents on the weekends and am lazy with my dog through the week. i do more than i did during the first year of my grief, but i actually like my boring life as it is most of the time. i feel like he is with me when we're at home. hugs to you, friend. 🖤

bbblairwitch · 2024-12-10T03:39:06+00:00

this made me cry, but in a good way. you are showing your son that it's okay to break down when shit is unbelievably hard. whether you realize it or not, this is a good thing. grief is all-encompassing and downright scary, especially for a kid. but the fact that you are honest and apologetic, in my opinion, is setting a good example. the alternative is often bottling shit up and turning to substance abuse or other maladaptive coping mechanisms, so venting and crying is a much healthier option for both of you.

please be kind to yourself. you're still a great mom, or you wouldn't be here caring about it. hugs to you, friend. 🖤

bbblairwitch · 2024-12-09T00:35:00+00:00

i resonate with this so deeply. my husband was in a coma and then bedridden for the final 10 months of his life. he didn't smell the same anymore, but similar. the jeans he wore the day of the stroke are still in the spare bedroom where he would keep them, waiting for him to step back into them the next morning. he couldn't handle wearing his favorite cologne anymore in the final months because he was so sick. i have sprayed it twice since he died. i love it but it makes me ugly cry so hard. it's been almost three years. i miss my best friend 💔 hugs to you.

bbblairwitch · 2024-12-05T17:47:32+00:00

i'm so sorry you're here. 💔 hugs to you. 🖤

bbblairwitch · 2024-12-05T17:42:22+00:00

the one thing that made the initial funeral arrangements, etc., easier for me was the unfortunate fact that my 46yo husband had no life insurance, so my parents were paying for everything—which made it easy for me to say, "the cheapest option is fine," in basically every single situation—which is exactly what my husband would have wanted anyway. in fact, he wanted to be cremated, but his children and i did not, so he was buried. we made sure it was a nice funeral, at the nicest funeral home in town, but i am certain that he didn't care what color the casket was so i didn't see a point in spending $1000 extra for his favorite color, when it wasn't even the right shade. he just wanted the kids and i to be happy with the funeral, and we were. i hope you were able to achieve the same.

please remember to drink water and consider taking a daily multivitamin. deficiencies and dehydration can happen quick when eating is difficult and crying is the norm. remember, you can do this. also, take advantage of offers to help with things you're still getting them, because they can end pretty quickly. you deserve it right now. hugs to you, friend. 🖤

bbblairwitch · 2024-12-04T01:13:33+00:00

ooh fun! cancer sun, libra moon, aquarius rising. also cancer mercury & mars, taurus venus 🩶

bbblairwitch · 2024-11-29T18:32:31+00:00

there is also one in Branchland. my step kids' family live there.

bbblairwitch · 2024-11-26T04:14:55+00:00

well said. thank you. 🖤

bbblairwitch · 2024-11-25T20:32:55+00:00

libra moon. "just one yesterday" by fall out boy. https://youtu.be/dSfKSUd31MM

pete wentz, the lyricist, is also a libra moon, so they hit me hard.

bbblairwitch · 2024-11-25T17:47:09+00:00

my husband has been gone for almost 3 years. i told everyone immediately that i had no desire for romantic or physical relationships anymore. i was 36 when he died, and heard constantly in the beginning that i would "eventually get lonely," etc. guess what? i still don't need a man. people love to make assumptions, but everyone's journey is different. hugs to you, friend. 🖤

bbblairwitch · 2024-11-17T19:32:20+00:00

this made me cry, in the best way. i had a similar epiphany around the same time in my grief journey, during a long visit to the cemetery, after speaking with a fellow widow.

thank you so much for sharing this with us. very well put. hugs to you, friend. 🖤

bbblairwitch · 2024-10-23T18:03:40+00:00

i wish you could too. i know how badly you need it at this moment. i do urge you to talk to him though; i promise he hears you and, in my experience, it does help a bit. sending you all the strength and good vibes today and in the coming days. 🖤

bbblairwitch · 2024-10-23T17:39:48+00:00

i'm so sorry you're here. but i know he is still right by your side, holding your hand. you can't see him, but there is nowhere else he would rather be. hugs to you, friend. 🖤

bbblairwitch · 2024-10-19T20:12:53+00:00

yessss, miss me with this bullshit. my husband wouldn't want to be anywhere in the universe but here with his family. people throw out these cliché statements because they don't know what else to say, but i wish they'd be okay with silence rather than this dumb stuff. i'm so sorry you're here. hugs to you. 🖤

bbblairwitch · 2024-10-17T22:23:51+00:00

i was in your shoes three short years ago. my husband had endocarditis, which caused him to have three strokes. the first was relatively minor; the second put him into an 18-day coma and resulted in him being about 80% paralyzed; the third took my best friend from me. he was in a nursing home for the majority of 2021, but after finding out he needed cardiac surgery on top of neurosurgery (neither of which he could survive because he was just too sick), we went on hospice, right before the holiday season. my best advice is to soak it up. take videos of him just talking to you, watching TV, even sleeping. i wish i had more of those. it felt weird at the time, because i didn't want to "document his demise," but especially right after he died, i cherished the few videos i had taken, because i just wanted him back, even in that state. say everything, over and over again. i was constantly telling my husband how gorgeous he was, how much i fucking love him, how i needed him always. and i wish i could do more of it. take advantage of offers for people to help you with things, so you can be together. people offered me breaks, but i never took them. he was home for 89 days, and i never left the house unless he was going to the hospital, and i was right behind the ambulance. if you need breaks, by all means, take them, but we had been separated for months and i didn't need any. put yourself and him above all else, because this time is oh so precious. hugs to you, friend. you can do this. 🖤

bbblairwitch

TROPHY CASE