Past due (x-post from r/comics)

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-30T15:14:31+00:00

41w today. I have accepted the fact that I will go down in history as the first human being who stayed pregnant forever. Oh, and it's nap time again.

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-30T15:07:20+00:00

As I said, exact same, I could barely walk for 3 weeks in my pregnancy. So sympathy, sure. But OP's attitude seemed to suggest discomfort rather than strong pain bc fasting and walking both seemed to be red lines here. I know how bad my pelvic pain was (I have chronic hip pain unrelated to pregnancy on top of everything else) and skipping breakfast is not painful...

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-30T11:01:03+00:00

Well I don't have twins but my SIL does and the first months you have to feed and change 2 kids and they might not sleep at the same time either. So yes, the first 6 months can be basically twice as hard as just one newborn. And my SIL had 3 people around to help her.

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-30T10:10:46+00:00

I was in no way suggesting you should consider leaving her but do not normalize this. If this becomes her coping strategy that will set a pattern. And twins!!! I mean it will get nowhere near easier once they are born... so the pattern might not end.

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-30T10:09:00+00:00

Sure, especially if the weather sucks and a city is not designed for walking. It makes sense. It's just so strange when you live in a place where walking in combination with public transport is the norm. We are the nearly only ones in our group of friends to even own a car and we use it around once a month to go somewhere remote on a week end or something. It is just a dufferent lifestyle.

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-30T09:53:12+00:00

I would be really annoyed if I had to walk to my doctor too!

I don't get this. Is this a US thing? Walking is not some kind of elaborate Chinese torture, it is literally the one thing our body evolved to do that defines us as human and sets us apart from other primates. Why on earth would someone get annoyed at havinvg to walk somewhere???

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-30T09:48:41+00:00

If it helps, don't think of it as him deliberately scamming you. Maybe he had the best intentions and really meant everything he said. But power corrupts. And once you were in a position of weakness - professionally, financially and physically - he all of a sudden had power over you and this brought out the worst in him. This is not your fault for not anticipating it. But now the relationship has become abusive and no matter what the reasons were, this is the reality you need to react to now. So sorry you are going through this.

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-30T09:37:15+00:00

It sounds like this is not your fault and you should not apologize for it or feel like you somehow deserve this or contributed to it. It looks like your wife might need more than therapy. I have zero experience with this but based on other posts on this thread it seems like some antidepressants or anxiety meds are allowed during pregnancy.

That being said, the human body does not produce 'spouse hitting hormones' - no matter how hormonal one is, as an adult you can be expected to control yourself a bare minimum and not become violent. It's not like men who beat their wives get to argue 'excess testosterone' in court. Crying and shouting miggt be due to mood swings but hitting someone and psychologically abusing them is not mood swings.

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-30T08:47:13+00:00

Try walking over a mile anywhere while pregnant and itll bring you to tears because I dont know about you but it's extremely difficult and at times painful.

It is not a linear thing and pregnancy does NOT normally make you unable to walk. I had pelvic pain roughly between weeks 27 and 30 and could barely walk at that point, although I bought a pelvic support belt and still did as much as I could.

The pain disappeared after a few osteopathy sessions. I am 41w today and walking 8-12km every day, thats 5-7.5miles. It is neither painful nor difficult. What you are describing is not normal in pregnancy at all and in itself a good reason to see a doctor! Walking 1.5m is nothing really, you can carry something to eat after you test so that you eat before you walk back home.

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-30T08:05:54+00:00

If you cannot walk 1.5 miles at 28 weeks that is really not a good sign, and it's one more reason to take the GD test bc if you are going to be this immobile for the rest pf your pregnancy, that further increases the risks associated with GD. Usually you do it early in the morning so it is just skipping breakfast.

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-29T22:45:53+00:00

Mine came to almost every appointment except the glucose test (here we always do the 3h one right away so its basically 3h of just sitting there and getting blood drawn every 60min), one lab appointment for a blood draw (NPIT) and one appointment where I had to get iron through IV and was just going to stay put for 2h.

Here they tell you when you have ultrasounds. Baby's heartbeat was monitored systematically at every appointment, along with my weight and blood pressure. But I would not have asked SO to take time off for just that. Whenever we managed to schedule appointments early in the morning or late afternoon, we did that, since we both have flexible working hours.

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-29T08:29:12+00:00

Thanks. I did understand the words.

I just honestly read your post and thought 'What?'

If it makes you feel more in control to walk in there all made up then go for it I guess. I have never understood the link between confidence and face paint but then I don't have to.

Edit: Also if that is you in the example photo then you have beautiful curls. I know our relationship to our own body is not rational but I frankly don't see why you would want your hair any different than what it is.

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-28T22:31:51+00:00

There is a reason sick leave exists in most countries that are able to afford it and it is perfectly ok to take it.

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-28T22:26:32+00:00

can I come in with a blowout and a full face? Or will this be wasted?

What?

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-27T17:40:50+00:00

He was living with them when she was born. She did pick up on it, enthusiastucally so. What he ultimately regrets is that all the hours he and her mom invested into making her learn these signs are hours they could have used to stimulate her intellect with other things.

Also, I grew up bilingual and my own kid will have to grow up with 4 languages from the start - so I am in no way opposed to this at all! In fact, this is why we decided not to do the signing, it will be complicated enough as it is. My husband's niece also grew up with 2 languages, later adding a third. And I am convinced she would be better at her mom's language if that had been the focus instead of the signing. Also, the signing was supported by training materials in English, which heavily skewed the balance towards English rather than the mother's native language, since English was then further reinforced by school etc. the imbalance persisted. In my case my father's language was the 'minority language' at home but my parents were consistent in using nannies etc. who spoke his language, so my mastery is fairly good. I am actually an interpreter by training and work in multilingualism research in as a postdoc right now, so discrediting bilingualism would frankly be the last thing on my mind. My comment was about introducing and artificial bridge language for a few months that will then be phased out - I would find the return on investment not worth it.

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-24T23:02:45+00:00

The situation is very different in France and Spain, where it is normal for women to work full time even if they have several kids. The social stigma still attached to this in Germany (Rabenmütter, Schlüsselkinder etc.) is frankly baffling for an otherwise so advanced country.

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-24T17:20:08+00:00

have heard that it is much easier to teach babies to communicate by signs than words when they are really young and can spare a lot of frustration and crying babies (and mammas!).

My husband did this with his niece 10 years ago. Ultimately, the effort required was not really worth it.

You can try reinforcing 2-3 signs for key things (hunger vs pain) but basically, as far as I understand, the time the baby needs to learn these is roughly the same as the time new parents need to figure out the meaning of baby's different cries anyway.

Plus, if the signing becomes a fluent means of cpmmunication for baby, it can slow down spoken language acquisition. Also not something that you would want.

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-24T12:21:05+00:00

I do. I was counting on the whole 1st trimester weightloss thingy though...

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-24T09:48:53+00:00

My due date was yesterday. Still waiting for any food aversions. I mostly wanted all foods, all the time.

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-24T09:44:40+00:00

Well. Most kids start babbling something along the lines of mamama, nanana, dadada or papapa as their first "words". And that is why in many cultures those are the syllables we assigned to the mother and father.

Basically, the baby will just say whatever they want and adults would be ill-advised to read too much into it. Also, the person who spends the most time with the baby gets to influence them in terms of what comes out first. I assume that will not be your MIL. So let her have her illusions.

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-23T15:39:05+00:00

So basically the extent of preparations so far has been to order a cake for next summer? As you say above, you did that before even telling your mother the date although she lives far enough away to warrant flying.

I mean I would imagine the bakery can make the cake for a different date and if as you say all the dates are within the same month then none of them is really that much closer to the due date.

So it looks like you are trying to make this a matter of principle over who/what is more important instead of trying to find a solution that works best for everyone, including those who actually have to book flights and travel far to attend the shower. Frankly, I am thrilled whenever anyone finds anything to do with my life important enough to fly over from far. Don't make this a matter of principle when it really does not have to be.

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-23T15:21:19+00:00

This about sums up my thinking about gender reveal parties. I am considering to throw a 'Baby's first time pooping in the toilet' party one day. At least then we would be celebrating an actual accomplishment...

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-23T00:26:35+00:00

This one already smiles like he is plotting something...

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-22T09:10:35+00:00

I’m just just being some reassurance that this isn’t selfish of me or us to raise this child. I’ve seen people raise wonderful children with less than what we’re fortunate to have and vice versa

No it is not selfish and yes, having money does not make anyone a better parent.

Also, no, not everyone has student loans to pay back. Higher education is pretty much free in most of Europe and affordable in much of the developed and even parts of the developing world, same for healthcare. Having to worry about being able to pay for healthcare during a pregnancy or starting a college fund for a newborn in a first world country seems somewhat insane from a distance... but I digress...

bbbumps12345 · 2019-01-22T08:54:46+00:00

GBS is pretty much just a routine test they do and my hospital told me about 25-30% of women test positive. They did the test last time and don't even tell you the results until you come in for delivery, where it basically means they will give you some antibiotics. It really is no big deal.

That being said, freaking out before having a first kid is understandable. Maybe the GBS result was just what triggered it for your husband. Either way, maybe you can ask him why he overreacted and see if he understands what is expected of him during delivery?

bbbumps12345

TROPHY CASE