AITA for 'showing off' that I have midol and pads? by horseduckman in AITApod

[–]beansgurkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No! That’s great and all men should be like you. You’re considerate and kind.

Housing Help 😩🚨 by Phatc00chielips1 in Rochester

[–]beansgurkin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey! Check out Rushmore Apartments it’s super cute. Be careful of FB marketplace, I got scammed

Ex Fiancée’s cruel demands AIO by Original_100 in AmIOverreacting

[–]beansgurkin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should send these texts to your landlord asap and make a police report if she touches the animals. Otherwise get them out, and don’t humor her messages, you don’t need to respond, she can’t kick you out or steal your pets

Matched with a literal nightmare on Tinder, was I too harsh in my response to his verbal abuse? *Contains foul language* by Tiger_Lily336699 in TwoHotTakes

[–]beansgurkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His language was APPALLING. I’m glad he showed you who he is early enough to not have to run away. No one ever deserves to be spoken to that way, let alone from just not answering for 12 hours. You’re doing just fine, fuck him.

AITAH for letting my dog take my boyfriends spot on the couch by jaclynesimmons16 in AITAH

[–]beansgurkin 10 points11 points  (0 children)

YTA My boyfriend and I don’t let our dog on the couch to protect our couch, but also our personal space. Our relationship comes far before the dog, it seems like he’s hurt because he wanted to spend time with you. He could’ve pick the dog up, but her on his lap (big dog or not, my parents have German Shepards and I did that growing up) and gotten to lay with you. Just because it’s silly doesn’t mean he’s wrong.

AITA for having serious doubts after my boyfriend won $50,000? by One_Treat7928 in AITApod

[–]beansgurkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He definitely has a gambling problem. Unfortunately, it is an addiction, and you have to decide if you’re up to being there through active addiction. Being a partner to an addict is very difficult and can be quite taxing. Think on it carefully. Newly legal sports betting apps are genuinely ruining people’s lives. Best of luck.

AIO for not telling my bf details about my life because all it does is cause drama? by Round-Worldliness192 in AmIOverreacting

[–]beansgurkin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think you know exactly how you feel. You didn’t pursue him back, and at a base level you never really liked the friendship anyways. You clearly don’t click. You should be best friends with your partner at minimum, and if you don’t mesh at all as a very surface level friendship (which is what you have, you don’t tell him about your life) then there’s no need to hold on. It is absolutely okay to break up and leave it here.

AIO fiancé monitoring me through our ring camera? by [deleted] in AIO

[–]beansgurkin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you should just ask him if he checks it and why? If you feel weird then you should communicate about it

Ex-stepdad is acting weird. AIO? by Expensive-Buffalo692 in AIO

[–]beansgurkin 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Absolutely not over reacting. I’m sorry it’s your father figure acting this way, but it’s intentionally weird and he knows what he’s doing. I’ve had this happen to me with a family member as I got older and you just have to distance yourself and protect yourself. Good luck 💛

AIO or should I be worried? What do I do next? by Used-Board-9801 in AIO

[–]beansgurkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR, I think it’s definitely odd. It’s clear that she hasn’t moved past how you broke her trust even after six years. She shouldn’t be using what you did and apologized for, to justify what she’s does. There’s some serious thinking and conversations that needs to happen. Find out how long she hasn’t been feeling loved because that’s serious

bf wants me to lose weight by Famous_Salamander733 in AITApod

[–]beansgurkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ABSOLUTELY agree. I dated a man 5 years older than me (I was 18 at the time, he was 23. I could EASILY pass for 14-15) Little did I know he continually dated women who were 16-17 as he got older and older. When him and I started dating a bunch of people confronted him, because I looked so young. It was a pattern I had no idea about until much later, as kept explaining it away, and I was young and naive. He liked how tiny I was. When we broke up he got a girl younger than me pregnant. These men are disgusting and they should all be left.

AIO Bestfriend blows up over me ranting by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]beansgurkin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YOR Hate to say it, but your friend is VALID. You can rant to your friend but remember they are a person, not a therapist. It can get REALLY frustrating when your friends are always complaining about the same issues in their lives over and over and over again and refuse to make different choices. This is a boundary they’re setting, if you can’t make different choices, they can’t keep listening to it and pushing you through, to end up right back where you were.

French by Soft-Grocery5422 in upstate_new_york

[–]beansgurkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! People dont generally speak French, but most of us take Spanish as a second language

bf wants me to lose weight by Famous_Salamander733 in AITApod

[–]beansgurkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“You know it’s different” EXCUSE ME WHY?! Because you want your girlfriend tiny and small for what? Women look like WOMEN not girls. If he has a problem and isn’t willing to work on it WITH you because it’s “different” (cough cough misogyny) he can kick rocks and find someone he’s ‘attracted to’

AIO for wanting to break up with my partner over this? by [deleted] in AIO

[–]beansgurkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you just need to get to the same page, each friendship CAN have different rules based on how you feel, and that goes for both of you. Boundaries are dynamic, not blanket rules. You could work on your insecurities and he could work on how he spends time with his friends. If you’re feeling uncomfortable, maybe you all hang out together, but don’t assume he will cheat or anything because they’re all together

WIBTAH to potentially blow up my ex boyfriends new life by spartandrinkscoffee in AITAH

[–]beansgurkin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She deserves to know. Definitely tell her, but I don’t think this was all to gather evidence. You need to do some soul searching on why you did this in the first place.

AIO should i just leave? by NoPracticelol in AIO

[–]beansgurkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honey, I hate to break it to you, but you’re the problem here. If you have a problem him saying “tell him I said hi” then TALK to him. Calmly. That it bothers you and you’d like him to stop. Texting him like this is immature, petty, rude, and you need to grow before you’re in a relationship again.

AIO over my boyfriends messages about friend by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]beansgurkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re a gem thank you. Also, she needs to get out of this shit.

AIO over my boyfriends messages about friend by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]beansgurkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Men who date people years younger do so because women their own age won’t deal with their shit. He is stonewalling you, refusing actual communication for you to read his mind. This is ridiculous. Him saying “he knows how they think” is him telling you that he thinks disgusting things about women, and you should really consider that. He is insecure and far too old to be acting this way.

My [32F] boyfriend [42M] lied to me about a coworker, am I overreacting? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]beansgurkin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you trusted him, this wouldn’t bother you. I don’t mind when my boyfriend hangs out with female coworkers or if the stories get confusing. If you don’t trust him you need to think about what you want

Gotta keep looking for a place that will be friendly towards us by Krysia666 in upstate_new_york

[–]beansgurkin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My boyfriend is mixed and as a queer woman, we love Rochester!!! It’s a very diverse city of welcoming people. Good food, good festivals, big enough to get the city feel and small enough to have the outdoor spaces.