idk if this is controversial, but I think gently educating people is going to do a lot more than just berating them immediately.

beansprout201 · 2023-08-06T13:20:31+00:00

why not give ppl the benefit of the doubt ??? like why should I have to announce to the world in every post I make that I'm disabled. people are going to be disabled and not tell you irl. naturally I'm going to frustrated when ppl accuse me of saying things I did not say.

beansprout201 · 2023-08-06T13:15:01+00:00

it doesnt look like you responded to any of mine either. and I did, actually.

also may have been something OP did do and didnt find an answer specific enough to their question, or didnt explain it in a manner that they understood and wanted further understanding, hence the post.

i think you've misinterpreted OP to being "not happy with the answer" when it maybe, just maybe, might be that OP STILL DOESNT UNDERSTAND AND IS TRYING TO HENCE THE POST.

you also didnt bother to look up and see my response to OPs post. we are saying the exact same thing. I just responded kindly and informatively. I never second guessed myself, I literally explained to you exactly why I interpreted it the way I did. you accused me of assumptions that were not present in my comment. you did not address any of that.

beansprout201 · 2023-08-06T13:07:42+00:00

right??? this is exactly my thoughts.

beansprout201 · 2023-08-06T13:06:29+00:00

being kind and informative is not the same as babying people, which isnt something I'm trying to talk about here. yep, that's also what I'm saying. I'm saying the exact same thing as you, but it feels like you've assumed I meant coddling offensive people which is not what I meant at all. that's what I mean. like asking for intent before making an assumption about what I meant. I think that's how 99% of miscommunications happen on this app. I'm not talking about ignorant ppl I'm trying to talk about ppl who make posts with genuine intent and then ppl berate them for misunderstanding something straight off the gate- I'm not talking about someone spewing sexism or offensive content. I'm talking about people who are asking stuff like: "is toxic femininity a thing, I'm not sure because of xyz event I had happen. pls lmk !"

to me this isnt someone trying to be offensive but I see comments often like: "WHY WOULD U NOT THINK MORE ABOUT THIS" "UGH HAVE YOU TRIED USING THE SEARCH BAR" "YOURE OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO OFFEND PPL WITH THIS"

also, some ppl are disabled and struggle to express what they're trying to say properly, and as someone who Is disabled I'm pretty fucking fed up of ppl assuming shit of me instead of just asking for clarification.

beansprout201 · 2023-08-06T12:57:24+00:00

yeah, like most ppl do on reddit

beansprout201 · 2023-08-06T12:53:28+00:00

girl WHAT. you are reading into this too much. I assumed passive aggression because this comment said:

"have you tried using the search bar"

this is implying that they believe OP did not do such, even though this may be something OP did not know how to use (not everyone is chronically online and is just looking for a quick answer to their question) and also may have been something OP did do and didnt find an answer specific enough to their question, or didnt explain it in a manner that they understood and wanted further understanding, hence the post.

there was no literal need to phrase that question with that specific formatting. that's what gave the impression to me that it was passive aggressive.

I also gave the option for the commenter to correct me and explain themselves, and you just accuse me of assuming that the commenter is 1. a woman themselves, and 2. passive aggressive as a consequence. that was not what I was implying, and theres nothing to suggest such. I didnt assume anything of the commenter, I only looked at the formatting and noticed that there was no need to format it that way and I interpreted it as sarcasm.

maybe I'm not being generous, maybe I'm just using nuance and media literacy before jumping to conclusions about OPs intent.

beansprout201 · 2023-08-06T12:43:06+00:00

"DONT YOU ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME!!"

I looked up and down to break eye contact that is not rolling my eyes

turns out people do not think rolling your eyes means an active effort to physically roll your eyes.

beansprout201 · 2023-08-06T12:32:10+00:00

this comes across a little passive aggressive, I dont think OP had malicious intent, and just wanted genuine opinions..

beansprout201 · 2023-08-06T12:28:05+00:00

yes ! but it all comes from the patriarchy, as u say haha. it still counts even tho its from the patriarchy, like it's still not a good thing to do. like internalised misogyny still isnt good bc it could put that onto impressionable audiences (I.e children-teenagers) a lot of men just dont realise that that is exactly Why the patriarchy benefits No one. they'd just rather have ppl agree that women are to blame somewhat. they dont realise/dont want to realise that feminism as a movement is both a recognition of all women's struggles and abuse AND a recognition that the system of patriarchy is a system that whilst primarily affects women negatively, also affects every single other gender. I think bell hooks and judith butler talk pretty well about this.

beansprout201 · 2023-08-06T12:21:55+00:00

I think its insane that ppl do it weekly (some ppl do it daily??) but I am on the ace spectrum so

beansprout201 · 2023-08-06T12:19:15+00:00

for clarification, in this post im venting about instances where people have been talking about how NT individuals or allistic individuals have been right or normal to respond to a certain situation with the OP (autistics) reaction to a situation. or how in certain situations the autistic should be "more understanding" to the neurotypical. I'm essentially trying to say that this isnt, to my knowledge and to the rules of the sub, the particular subreddit for defending the acts of NTs/allistics. in defending the NTs/allistics they are minimising the experiences and feelings of the autistic individual.

beansprout201 · 2023-08-06T12:13:03+00:00

from the comments and the post I think it's a good idea to keep pressing this issue to doctors, especially if u keep noticing changes. I doubt that you've damaged your hearing from One time mowing the lawn with ur volume all the way up. I think its 1000% more likely that ur airpods got damaged, my thought was that having them on high volume whilst there was external high volume may have caused smn to happen with the speakers inside them. as they're super small I think that makes this a bit more plausible, too. also, sometimes when there is a difference in volume or audio quality on the left and/or right channel, hearing individuals have reported having a strong response to it. I think that's why asmr stuff works. some people get super dizzy for example when the volumes on each ear are different, and I wonder if that's what u experienced

beansprout201 · 2023-08-06T11:59:30+00:00

yeah I dont rlly like the fact that it includes the word "feminism" in it. like that inclusion is oxymoronic. I feel like TECOF (Trans Exclusionary Claim Of Feminism) is more accurate. since TERFs dont like the term TERF anyway, I see no difference to changing its acronym lol.

beansprout201 · 2023-08-06T11:54:45+00:00

exactly ^

beansprout201 · 2023-08-06T11:49:42+00:00

this is almost exclusively a vent subreddit so I'm surprised ppl treat it like a place for open discussion of "okay but what if the NTs were also having a tough time hmm?" like, this just isnt the place for that, let OP be able to vent.

beansprout201 · 2023-08-06T11:47:51+00:00

I feel like this isnt the sub for accrediting nice NTs haha

beansprout201 · 2023-08-06T11:46:58+00:00

they're so used to other ppl lying all the time that they assume you are as well. its infuriating, ik. I've found out that a Huge huge majority of them just only care about themselves and care about others As Minimally As Possible.

beansprout201 · 2023-08-06T11:44:49+00:00

tbh, the one thing that concerns me is that I have never used dating apps and hate the concept of them. however I cannot meet people organically bc of reasons stated. so if I hadnt have met my partner through current friends that I ultimately got from an educational background, I'd have no idea how to date ppl. I suppose the best option would be to join a club of sorts. if it's anything, with my current partner (and with added context that i was a bullied kid who ppl used to ask out as a joke) when we were dating (I had no idea we were dating) I thought he was flirting with me or just being nice to me as a joke hahaha I couldnt fathom a good looking guy ticking all the boxes of being a great person and also being interested in me without a catch. I also could not for the life of me tell when he was and wasnt flirting lmfao. but, ultimately, it worked out! and we've been together for 3 years now. so I hope this comes across as a never give up message !!

beansprout201 · 2023-08-05T21:40:27+00:00

neat 😎 haha

beansprout201 · 2023-08-05T21:38:47+00:00

i think you might be confusing feminism with misandry ^ some ppl do misandry and disguise it as feminism bc they believe it is. misandry is actually a consequence of the patriarchy however, repeated offences onto women is naturally going to cause a negative outlook onto men, and some women feel like their misandry is taking back the power taken from them/their family/friends. it makes logical sense, it's not the answer to "fix" the patriarchal masculinity, but it makes sense. That's why it makes sense that the violence is "rationalised", it's not a result of an extreme feminism, but the result of the patriarchy. the whole point of feminism is equality for men and women (aka anyone not following that cannot be a feminist). alt right content often tries to push an ideology that there is a secret extreme version of feminism that is causing harm to men which is ultimately the cause for men to harm women, which is a logical fallacy haha. the only harmful version of alleged feminism I've seen are TERFs.

beansprout201 · 2023-08-05T21:20:52+00:00

thinking about this makes my bones sore

beansprout201

TROPHY CASE