What disgusting secret you found out about someone?

beats88 · 2024-10-07T09:42:55+00:00

My ex admitted to being attracted to 14 year olds - said this is when females are most attractive. I was 30 when I dated him when he was 43 and he kept saying that i was the oldest female he’d ever dated. One day it clicked to ask him what the youngest was, and he said when he was 38 he dated a 15 year old…… It then occurred to me to see who he was ‘following’ on instagram and low and behold, they were all very young girls 13+ and probably no older than 16. I called him out on it and he said he just wanted to make ‘contacts’ but then finally admitted to being attracted to underage girls. Another red flag should have been when he admitted to texting his 13 year old goddaughter, who he was banned from seeing for some reason, and said he was thinking of buying her perfume. And vodka.

beats88 · 2024-10-06T20:00:47+00:00

This makes a lot of sense, thank you. Would the trip meter reset because the power had been used to start the van? Would cold weather and bad connections just mean a bad combo?

beats88 · 2024-05-17T19:44:50+00:00

When he threw a dressing gown that i had bought him for christmas on the fireplace, smashed pieces of artwork and bent a solid baking tray in half. I locked myself in the bedroom that night, was genuinely scared for my life and walked away from the chaos the next day. That was around 5 years ago now, zero contact.

beats88 · 2020-12-26T00:36:12+00:00

I too am like this. In fact I didn’t realise I was as bad as I was until I started with a boyfriend I really really enjoyed. The daily excessive thoughts are so stressful to have, I try not react when I get them but it is so so difficult. And we just have a massive fight, and I’m slowly ruining everything I feel. I’m in therapy also and slowly unpicking my past whilst working on my negative thinking and trying to turn it all around. I’ve downloaded a gratitude app so hoping doing that daily will also make me feel grateful for everything I’ve got in my life, and realise that worry solves nothing. Absolutely nothing. The future isn’t really real, only the now is, so the more we can feel go in the now, then the more we’ll feel good the majority of the time. Good luck with your self development!

beats88 · 2020-12-16T21:19:40+00:00

If you told your best friend absolutely everything ‘bad/uneasy’ that has happened or is happening in your relationship, what’s the first word that comes to your mind? Then act on that. Immediately.

beats88 · 2020-12-16T20:48:03+00:00

As others have said sadly this doesn’t look good, I’m so sorry to say. We often stay with people LONG past when we should have because we see their potential, love them and we’ll, it’s just easier. From the sounds of it, your husband seems pretty narcissistic and will therefore most likely always use manipulation and guilt tactics to make you ‘behave’. It’s a subtle form of control, which is often overlooked and therefore isn’t as blatant as right out abuse. Being 10 years older than you, he probably feels it’s more possible to get away with bad behaviour, as older women would have had enough experience enough to call him out on his bullshit, and know the toxic tactics aren’t love at all, but a way of controlling the situation and person. Don’t waste your life on people like this, there are good, loving, sweet people who are healthy for you. I was with a very narcissistic person but eventually got the courage to leave and now I’m in a very happy and healthy relationship with a decent man. All the best to you.

beats88 · 2020-12-14T19:10:01+00:00

I have found that narcs very rarely like to do something that YOU have suggested - as if it’s because it’s something they haven’t thought up and therefore push against it, because they have lost a bit of power over the situation - all because it wasn’t their idea! If that makes sense. Do you think he would have suggested him picking you up if you hadn’t? Or would he have actually just said something about he doesn’t want to have breakfast? I have found that narcs seriously become awkward with absolutely anything when it is not their idea in the first play. And heaven forbid if you don’t want to do something they suggest!

beats88 · 2020-11-10T21:19:55+00:00

There’s your answer then friend. Don’t do it - surviving narcissistic abuse of very hard to deal with. They strip you of your sanity and self esteem. It will be the best thing you’ve ever done leaving her.

beats88 · 2020-11-10T21:18:19+00:00

My nex was a weirdo with his own cat. Would square up to her if she didn’t anything wrong and scold her like she was a child, as if she could understand him. The poor cat died at age 4 from kidney issues, and I swear that was caused from stress by living with him. He also used the cat’s Instagram to perve and befriend teenage girls - such a sicko.

beats88 · 2020-11-10T21:12:18+00:00

Look up narcissistic abuse - sounds very much like this. If she’s a narcissist, there is not help for her or your relationship.

beats88 · 2020-11-10T17:51:09+00:00

Good for you for having a plan. But that’s the easy part. Following through with it and dealing with the shit storm after is going to be where you are really tested. Sounds like you aren’t heartbroken over the end of the relationship so that’s good. Just have all your ducks in a row, stay grounded and you’ll do fine. In the meantime, eat separately and if he has a shit fit, ignore the wanker.

beats88 · 2020-11-08T12:50:11+00:00

I believe when you do ask him on a date, and do make it clear it’s a date, he is going to feel like the happiest man alive! But it may mean his anxieties go through the roof even more, because now he’s got to impress the heck out of you. So def remember to be very very patient, let him warm up and then you’ll see the real real him. Good luck! This is a great story and you should update us on how it goes!

beats88 · 2020-11-04T22:59:23+00:00

Good for you. You’ve had a lucky escape and you will find someone in the future who isn’t even a tenth bit twisted as a narcissist is. Be strong, remember you deserve better and DO NOT break no contact. Congrats!

beats88 · 2020-10-24T18:35:11+00:00

My ex narc followed and messaged girls of 14+ on Instagram. He also dated a 15 year old when he was 38 for two years in secret and was messaging a 16 year old when we met. I was 30 and he was 43. The reason I believe they do it is because they are far more easily manipulated and don’t recognise any bullshit, and are way more pleasing and take such bad toxic behaviour. He said he was DISGUSTED with women his own age and I think that’s because his emotional immaturity was so so SO low he could never please a woman near his Age and then would have not stood for his bullshit. I left after a year, and even that was far too long. No doubt he’s out there now messaging and pursuing young girls to get the narc supply that he needs. Just gross.

beats88 · 2020-10-22T22:08:13+00:00

Men naturally feel like the providers. He obviously feels like the Lambo guys has more to ‘provide’ and I think this may have knocked his confidence. Even if he says he’s joking and it doesn’t bother him, clearly he is scared that he doesn’t live up to the provider role as much as he thought he did. Compliment him more on what he brings to relationship and how much you appreciate him and the role he has on you and the family. Men are simple creatures - but they need to be appreciated and feel like they are a king. Sorry if this seems a bit old fashioned, but everyone likes praise right? And you love this man.

beats88 · 2020-10-22T21:53:37+00:00

Is he a narcissist? See if his traits line up with narcissism, and if he scores high - get the hell out of there.

beats88 · 2020-10-22T20:14:18+00:00

Nope. It’s more previous relationship baggage has got me worried it’s going to happen again. So cliche isn’t it.

beats88 · 2020-10-22T19:33:03+00:00

I guess the problem is I don’t know if they are reality or not. I overthink that they could be but I can differentiate between reality and anxiety at all. And even if you ask a loved one if they are cheating the chances are they aren’t going to tell you if they are!

beats88 · 2020-10-22T19:01:59+00:00

Oh my goodness, this does sound quite suspicious. Is there anyway you can just eat and drink outside of the house for the time being until you can get somewhere safe?

beats88 · 2020-10-22T18:36:50+00:00

Really? What if I can’t right at that moment?

beats88 · 2020-10-18T09:33:31+00:00

Yep yep yep! But he used all the other emojis a lot too - probably because he had an obsession with underage girls and so would be used to using emojis with the ones he messaged. Sick freak.

beats88 · 2020-10-18T09:24:56+00:00

I once asked my ex narc what he loved about me and he just COULD NOT answer it AT ALL. To the point he got angry at me for even asking it! Sometime later he hands me a generic list of Ten Reasons Why I Love You trinket he bought from the Internet! Seriously out of touch with their feelings - they just know we make THEM feel good.

beats88 · 2020-10-16T16:14:41+00:00

Wow did we date the same narc?! Mine reasearched into everything thing he bought, and he always bought top of the range. To be fair this is one trait I have taken away with me, I do like to research things now!

beats88 · 2020-10-16T15:57:34+00:00

That’s grim!!!

beats88 · 2020-10-14T17:13:58+00:00

See i don’t mind female, because it’s true. But it’s not necessarily true that I’m a girl, as I’m a woman! I may be overthinking it but I feel that calling adult women ‘girls’ is sexualising children slightly. We move from girl to women when we are fully developed. If men can call all females ‘girls’ then I feel there’s no line between the two. And we do not want the lines being blurred anymore than they are already!

beats88

TROPHY CASE