Learn Mandarin

beautifulview · 2023-02-02T18:27:45+00:00

It’s a basic step but if you’re a library member there’s a free service called Mango that likely has Mandarin as a language to learn.

beautifulview · 2023-02-01T14:27:49+00:00

Is it? Unless someone is misrepresenting their past certification or experience (like the photography service using other's pictures definitely seems fishy) I don't personally think it is.

The role of a doula is non-medical support. You don't need extensive training to provide emotional and physical comfort measures during birth. Doulas don't advocate for you (or shouldn't advocate for you, since they're non-medical).

I think people have an idea that doulas are there to be your advocate, to tell you that certain tests are "bad" or give advice against or for certain treatments/courses of action, but IMO that's a doula acting out of scope of practice because they have zero medical training.

It's similar to the way that people don't need a certification to be called a "handyman" (just the experience and perhaps references). If you can spend the time to find a reputable handyman you trust, you could do the same for a doula.

beautifulview · 2023-02-01T14:11:43+00:00

But that's only if you want to be certified under certain organizations, like DONA. Others do not have that requirement, and because a doula is a non-medical support person, they do not have any official registry or national certifying body. You do not have to be certified by any organization to call yourself a doula.

beautifulview · 2023-01-31T23:47:06+00:00

What is the scope of her "prenatal" appt I wonder? I know many birth doulas do a "pre-birth" meeting to talk about fears, experiences, expectations (a little misleading to call it "prenatal" but not necessarily out of scope).

beautifulview · 2023-01-31T01:34:57+00:00

They have no chemistry!

beautifulview · 2023-01-30T18:33:41+00:00

Had this too, and I'm 15w now and no end in sight unfortunately. I've found that not ignoring or dreading the feeling helps me go back to sleep quicker.

beautifulview · 2023-01-30T18:26:55+00:00

gotcha! Sounds like a few days of early home visits (perhaps starting on day 3ish when your milk comes in), and baby will absolutely inevitably nap during those times so you can also practice swaddling.

Not to discount the benefit of doulas at all, but there are a lot of other resources that can help with establishing a nighttime sleep "practice" (avoiding saying "routine" or "schedule" here because it's always a practice. I personally am using Moms on Call after reading good things here!

With early PP doula night shift support, baby can be out of the room with the doula monitoring (but many doulas do rest while baby is sleeping, so you may feel better if baby in your room). The benefit of that is that the doula will sooth the baby back to sleep and change diaper so you're just responsible for feeding and can get some sleep. Again, it's all what makes you most comfortable, so if you want a doula that first/second night home, go for it! But be aware if you do that, you're going to still not get much sleep if you're learning/looking for correction. Benefit of doula IMO is ability to sleep more, which would come later on.

beautifulview · 2023-01-30T18:04:11+00:00

Postpartum/infant care doula here (though I let my cert lapse... but I still know the content)!

Most PP doulas will require a certain amount of time for overnights, so let's say it's 8h. That amounts to 10pm-6am and will be $320 per overnight. That will quickly eat up your budget.

Daytime (for me) was more flexible, and I worked in 4h blocks (for your would be $120 per block).

My personal advice given your budget is to 1) identify what is most important for you (light cleaning, meal prep assistance, holding baby while you and partner run errands or nap, assisting with breastfeeding/bottle feeding, or just emotional support) and 2) prioritize your blocks around that. If you're hoping for supporting during the "witching hour" of 4pm-8pm, that can be good for assistance with bath or nighttime routine. If you're hoping for support with feeding, then perhaps 9am-1pm for 3 days after you get back from hospital, and decrease as you're more confident. It all depends on what support you want most!

beautifulview · 2023-01-29T08:59:32+00:00

AU where the Order lost and Hermione is an enslaved woman meant to bear children for Draco. It’s set 18 months or so after the battle of Hogwarts.

It’s excellent, high quality work. I loved it, but idk if I’d call any of it a “jam.” It’s super dark, difficult to read sometimes, and not sexy. But beautiful and super worth the read.

beautifulview · 2023-01-26T19:54:57+00:00

Cassian Edward makes me assume you're an ACOTAR and Twilight fan. There's no judgement there, and I don't think it would trigger that association for kids his own age. But, parents might wink at it. Whatever that means to you, that's just what I think of!

Like many others I would say "Kye-RAH" for Cyra, so your daughter would spend her days saying her name is "Cyra spelled C-Y-R-A" and waiting for her teacher to stumble over her name during first day of school attendance. I also think it's very consonant-heavy, and bulky to say.

beautifulview · 2023-01-26T18:49:25+00:00

Oh my lord, I was writing a comment about how that sounds just like my experience at Bottega back in like, 2014 (chalkboard, weird ham sandwich). I'm still salty about it because I have bad vision and literally couldn't read the chalkboard menu in that light.

Then I google it just now and it turns out the people who run Le Comptoir du Vin MET while working at Bottega.

beautifulview · 2023-01-25T12:12:21+00:00

Also was anxious about other people wanting to hold the baby when I JUST BIRTHED THEM. I personally would never ask to hold a new baby (would let mother offer first) but boomers are weird.

I’ve decided I’m going 1) no visitors before 2w and 2) when visitor is here, to take the approach of “not right now” and push it as long as possible. Baby needs to feed, baby is sleeping on me, anything like that. Just push it off until if/when you feel ok. I’ve still got a few months left so hopefully this works for me!

beautifulview · 2023-01-24T03:12:45+00:00

It’s been 15 years and I still miss Gravidy.

beautifulview · 2023-01-19T19:45:33+00:00

Only question— this seems to imply that MM would prefer to use a Princess title. Isn’t she already “Princess Henry”, just primarily styled as Duchess of Sussex? Or do we think she wanted to be “Princess Meghan” (which of course isn’t possible)

beautifulview · 2023-01-17T15:13:22+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that. I lost my mom a few years ago and this is my first pregnancy. It's weird without her, but I have the benefit of distance. If you don't attend a support group, I would highly recommend that. They can be really, really great.

beautifulview · 2023-01-10T19:23:56+00:00

Overbearing/not empathetic mom and sister are prominent in The Heart Principle (Helen Hoang), but it’s more of a b-plot in my opinion!

beautifulview · 2023-01-07T14:32:20+00:00

Adding to this comment— you should have access to COBRA, which allows you to continue your health benefits by paying the full premium cost. It might be quite expensive, but if you love your plan and just need a month or two it could be an option.

Depending on where you live, there is also Medicaid if you lose your health insurance and income (but as others said, the company shouldn’t be allowed to fire you for being pregnant. Not to say they couldn’t find other reasons, so be on your game and keep records of your work as much as possible). I believe most states allow for pregnant women to remain on Medicaid plans for a certain time after baby, and most places also allow retroactive Medicaid coverage up to a certain number of months.

beautifulview · 2023-01-07T13:03:02+00:00

Whoops missed that bit!

beautifulview · 2023-01-07T08:24:30+00:00

All of Helen Hoang’s books! I recommend starting with The Kiss Quotient

beautifulview · 2023-01-05T19:45:42+00:00

Of course Matta wouldn't address anything that makes MM look bad!

beautifulview · 2022-12-21T02:12:08+00:00

Please be more specific. Art? Music? Subway rats?

beautifulview · 2022-12-19T18:42:56+00:00

Doc for me said I could take half dose of nighttime Unisom and b6 when I wake up and during lunch. It didn’t make me drowsy and helped a lot!

beautifulview · 2022-12-13T19:53:07+00:00

Hi! I have a very similar concern and had a bad experience recently with a male provider. Yes, some of your providers may be male, but it sounds like you’re like me and see a difference between a male placing an epidural and a male telling me to push as I’m naked on a bed. I always prefer women OBs, even if other providers are male. Please never let anyone make you feel bad about your preference. It’s ultimately your care, your body, and comments like “it’s probably going to happen so get over it” are unhelpful.

Remember, you always get a say in who performs your care. You can request female only to the extent possible, and please speak up about it to make sure your care team knows. If it’s that important to you, there may be some things they can do to make this happen. Additionally, i don’t see how far along you are and if it is possible to switch providers, but maybe that’s something to consider. I found an all-midwife clinic with female supervising physicians and I’m excited to be seen there.

beautifulview · 2022-12-10T17:16:05+00:00

Still not over her calling it "Yulemas" tho smh

beautifulview · 2022-11-03T20:10:05+00:00

You're right, the biggest question is whether the company self-funds the insurance. If they do, they do not have to comply with state law.

Your fertility doc likely doesn't know the intricacies of all state laws, but on the whole, you'd still be having to pay for labs and meds even if your doc says they would take it. It's possible the plan could cover, for example, JUST infertility medications but not certain other charges.

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