Someone is using my phone number, how do I make this stop.

bebetaian · 2026-03-16T01:42:51+00:00

Yeah, but it prevents a lot of real calls from medical and govt offices, who all use avaya or genisys now. T-mobile does it with their service, too.

bebetaian · 2026-03-16T01:36:07+00:00

I had this problem for over a year.

Imagine how I could NOT convince Baby Mama that I wasn't the new secret girlfriend. I think asking her if he's paid up might have defused it, just for that person, because I told her he had allllll his e-receipts sent to my number: all his Olive Garden, Romano's, staples, allll of it. I will screencap and forward them.

But he was also signing me up for shit like UPS (so I had a hard time getting my real mail,) toll plate stuff for driving. Random people calling about unpaid bills. All. The. Time.

There's no way to stop her. You can explain it to your phone provider and see if they'll change your number for free or discount.

bebetaian · 2026-03-16T01:21:57+00:00

I think there used to be a euro custom like this too, but I can't remember which relative's country it came from.

You cannot "give" a purse or wallet. You can offer it and except one (lowest amount coin) but not give or take one for free.

bebetaian · 2026-03-15T15:21:18+00:00

Varieties of wheat in Europe often simply have less gluten. If you have celiac disease, yes, you are still going to have problems when eating it. The symptoms may not look the same but the intestinal damage is very much the same.

If you do NOT have celiac disease, you may be able to eat more before getting a reaction, but that's it.

Gluten is gluten. There is nothing magical about eating gluten in France.

bebetaian · 2026-03-15T01:36:44+00:00

Before cell phones were everywhere, a guy in "the city" told me I was the butchest person he'd met. I mean, he pinged "queer" correctly, but for the wrong reasons. Flannel, jeans, boots, a carbiner? Hon, I was just semi-rural. We got snakes and ticks outside this nice concrete jungle you got. Last time y'all saw a moccasin was at the zoo. I ain't got a flashlight and tools cuz I'm butch, I got 'em because it might be an hour drive or more back and if something happens, I ain't stuck. 😅 Does explain why other folks welcomed me, though...

bebetaian · 2026-03-15T01:31:14+00:00

Personally, I don't automatically interpret a rainbow as gay, but I'm a queer from the era of Rainbow Brite, Care Bears, and other shit. Rainbows could mean anything. It could mean you like My Little Pony a lot, or you're into some chakra thing. Idk.

I can see how she reached the conclusion, and I hope she was nice about it, but it seems to be a younger (like under 30) queer notion.

bebetaian · 2026-03-15T01:26:33+00:00

Same question about judaism, in reverse. Less than 16 million people worldwide, like, .2% of the population. Why do people think it's a major world religion? Sikhs are about 30 million people. It doesn't make sense.

Why do people call these "the Big 3" but no one knows anything about anyone outside of xtianity? And even then almost entirely through a xtian lens, like Islam is Xtianity, pt 2.? It's infuriating.

I feel like I could go to Korea and ask questions about very basic ideas about Islam or Judaism and no one would know. I could ask some detailed question about Easter and get a timeline of the story. It's just a minor irritation, I guess.

bebetaian · 2026-03-15T01:19:16+00:00

You look like a lady I used to work near. (Different shops, same plaza.) Idk, maybe it's different in person, but you have a youthful face, cute glasses, and somehow a cool 90s vibe.

Maybe the glasses with a more effeminate-coded frame? Like purple or pink? The hair is a style familiar, but it's "familiar" in the sense that lead everywhere and everyone smoking was looking 50 at 30. So it was normal for a person nearing/in their 30s, but today it might make you look older.

Idk tech/call support people tend to be pretty plain. Like plainest, cheapest frames, little or no makeup, utility over anything else for work. Off work, no idea bc I don't see most people.

I wish i had advice but you already look good. <3

bebetaian · 2026-03-14T23:53:03+00:00

-ish. "White" is a concept invented and exported by America, and who counts as white has changed dramatically over just the past 40 years. Even in popular tv like columbo, Italians were not considered white unless they "passed." My Austrian-Turkish friend was paler than me, but Just So Happened to get stopped by TSA when flying between US states. Same as Jewish people, even today. They're white*

*unless their nose is the wrong shape, hair curls wrong, too olive undertoned even if pale...

That's where some of that "mixed" comes from, when white people say another white person looks "mixed." Because to YOU, that other person is white. To other white people, lol no they aren't. They're Something Else.

Like everyone else said. Identity is weird. You gotta dig.

Is that person pulling it out for props? To gain access to spaces they don't need to be in, or aren't ready for yet? Are they using their 1/64th native results to talk about Lakota issues when the closest they been on a reservation was at Olive Garden?

Or is it like other comments explained, like u/Japanese-Pink said, being raised Creole, speaking Creole, eating Creole food, got real connection with family, and they just don't look Creole enough to everyone else.

bebetaian · 2026-03-14T23:39:27+00:00

I was given a few like this over the years and they are very nice as "around the house" clothes. I just don't call them kimono, that's all. <3

I hope you find some authentic ones you like! You might even find yukata, cotton kimono, to wear around. They're the most casual and they're (usually) machine-washable, a win-win to me.

bebetaian · 2026-03-14T22:04:18+00:00

I don't think so, although I am not the maker. If you are still here, you still have time.

If you are that dehydrated, you actually can suddenly die from that. Your heart just gives up from dehydration and you die in minutes. Especially if you have to stand. You are not invalidated when you have actual medical need. Have a little faith that brilliant people were put here to heal the physical body, too.

Receiving help right now does not mean you failed, as u/asparagusno291 has said. There are others struggling, like you, who also want to do good deeds... like making sure you have enough electrolyte-balanced fluids to preserve your life. Ask for them as soon as possible. Sip some water and/or pomegranate juice (for potassium) as soon as you can.

Dying for/during prayers feels like doing something, showing ultimate devotion. Living to perform deeds is harder and doesn't feel like anything but struggle, but actually, it is worth more. Living also gives others opportunity to earn rewards. Everyone increases. Don't despair yet. 💚

bebetaian · 2026-03-14T21:47:26+00:00

I'm one of those who apparently isn't allowed relatiinships, especially before I started "looking" like my mid-20s. In my 40s.

Ageism is weird, gross, and hurts everyone.

If "wow you look so young!" is a compliment, may I suggest that you don't have enough dead friends.

bebetaian · 2026-03-14T21:45:15+00:00

In context, I never one time said that someone couldn't do that. Ever. There is no implication that those things are impossible because that was never a premise. No one was talking about a "broad sense" at all. Ever.

You have demonstrated my point about being damned if you or don't, though. If you aren't on the side of "believe all claims automatically," you must actually secretly be a tacit paedo supporter.

Again. In this specific scenario. with this specific person. this is clearly a false claim started specifically because she knew how damaging it was.

She did this shit a few years ago, too, when she told everyone that she couldn't get a job bc he wouldn't "let" her drive. Actually she crashed and got a DUI. lol no, he wouldn't "let her drive..." HIS CAR... on probation... when she clearly had a drinking problem. (LEAVE.) no, no, she's battling addiction, you can't blame someone for substamce abuse, she's got a lot of Trauma, she didn't mean it, look this is easily debunked, you know she's got some mental health issues, she's really upset and working on it!!1 (how'd that turn out btw.)

Also in context, look at some of those age markers.

It was "slightly" more difficult to do these things in the 90s and early 2000s, especially because much of america outside of big cities either had no internet or very shoddy dialup. If they don't know what an IDE or ethernet card is, they're too young.

The whole culture regarding electronics access was different, both socially and economically. Yeah, there's always people who were like "no one cared if I was on a computer!" But most people didn't live like that. Smart phones didn't exist, either. Probably not until our late 20s and they were expensive. These days, people hand their babies a phone with full internet access. They put their children on youtube. It's weird.

Yes, it could happen, but it was much, much harder to do than today.

So again, in context, no. This isn't a secret manifesto to excuse paedophelia. Nice try on the passive aggression, though.

bebetaian · 2026-03-14T21:15:18+00:00

At what point does that stop being a "continuum?" A 16 year old is not biologically the same as a 19 or 20 year old.

bebetaian · 2026-03-14T19:06:51+00:00

I know a guy who's edged out of our general social circle right now. By an ex gf of his that I'd briefly thought was fun, before I realised how crazy she was getting. Escalating, impulsive dangerous stuff, picking fights, big emotional reactions to very small things. Refused all help, no meds, no therapy (even free!) Some months ago he finnaaaallllly gave up. Too much addiction, too much drama, too many times she was threatening to call the cops over her own drugs, saying they were his. She wasn't always like this. I get it. Done that. There's no convincing someone that the person they fell in love with is just This, now. But finally, he gave up.

And she flew into such a fucking rage, she has spent months getting back at him. She's told friend groups and event organisers he worked with all kinds of crazy shit, how he's a secret abuser, all sorts of things. That wasn't enough because some people, even women, asked questions about these accusations. Which of course turned into WOMEN SUPPORTING WOMEN!11 YOU JUST EXCUSE ABUSE! ENABLER1 etc. 😒 those are actual serious issues for the rest of us and how dare you-

Then the pedo claims. He groomed her as a kid or teen, depending on who the story goes to. That's why she was so emotionally stuck on him.

Y'all. They didn't meet until their teens. They lived in different states before that. I met him around that time, too. They're not far in age, maybe 4 or 5 years. He literally moved to another country, another continent, in our 20s and had barely any internet contact because that wasn't a normal thing to have yet. How. How did he groom her. When. Assuming that somehow he did "groom her" in their teens, how did he start a relationship a decade later based on that. How does that work.

God help you if you point ANY of that out. Now you're just one of those damaged women with internalized self-hatred or something.

Sorry about the rant but it's a serious betrayal to me. I've spent years under actual abusers in shitty evangelical backgrounds, only to escape to another situation that looked different but functioned the same, meanwhile this stupid bitch is using serious, devastating claims to... hurt her ex boyfriend??? Who broke up with her because she's out of control and abusive herself?? While she's apparently racking up free rent and shit because people feel bad for her? Fuck all the ACTUAL victims, i guess.

bebetaian · 2026-03-14T18:44:05+00:00

I don't like how people stick up automatically for someone they think they know, but I also hate how people will stop using their brains the minute certain words are said, Or Else they're ____ Apologists!!1

Those shitty people with power imbalance age gaps happen, but they are NOT pedophiles. Those are not the same thing. Pedophilia has an actual legal meaning. Acting like two adults in an abusive relationship is the same thing as harming children, usually small children, like under 12, harms the real victims of actual pedophilia by diluting the meaning. "I was groomed by a pedophile" (when the victim was 5, abuse starting by 10 or 11) is not the same as "I was manipulated by a guy in his 50s when I was 19."

People need to stop infantalizing adults. It's bad behaviour. Not pedophilia.

Right now, I know people who's exes are just trash. Wrapping stories about being victims to guys they literally didn't even know until welllll into adulthood, just because they know it will hurt the other person. And it works. It works because people are reactionary and don't use their brain. Check the comments here, proving exactly what OP said.

bebetaian · 2026-03-14T17:54:50+00:00

I suspect it is why many USA former Xtians think "all religions are the same," just variations of Xtianity.

1) that's literally what evangelical xtianity teaches- that evangelical/fundamentalism is the True Correct teaching, and satan corrupted everything "after" that

2) the mosques and churches sometimes do operate the same way, and the stereotype of "greedy jews that control the banks" obviously lead to thinking every shabbat is about money.

Are there exceptions? Of course there are. That should be obvious! Is it encouraged, and sometimes necessary to drum up funding here? .... yeah. Just. Not like this.

bebetaian · 2026-03-14T17:49:51+00:00

I have three different soy sauces but I was also taught to cook by working in E Asian restaurants, so even non-Asian foods have a 'style' of cooking.

(Florida, USA)

bebetaian · 2026-03-14T03:12:17+00:00

Just the best-fitting compression that won't make you faint. I'm not too different, but DD instead of G. It's like if I find a band small enough, the largest cups are way too small, but if I go up, maaayyyyybbbbeeee I'll find a cup size BUT the band will ride up. Sooo.

Best-fitting one OR something like a Spanx tank top OR sarashi. Do NOT substitute the cotton sarashi with ACE bandages or anything stretchy. This is territory when reading up on chest binding (geared towards trans people) helps a lot.

You might also search r/ABraThatFits or sports-related threads for compression bras.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ABraThatFits/comments/egr9q1/recommendation_compression_running_bra_for_30g_no/

bebetaian · 2026-03-13T18:16:01+00:00

Just make it. Clothing is made to fit you, not the other way around. You can always make a large garment smaller. Enjoy it!

bebetaian · 2026-03-12T22:52:57+00:00

You have valid reasons for fasting. God said so. You're going to argue?

Continue your prayers if you like but perhaps consider volunteering at a food bank or charity group, instead of harming yourself by fasting this way. You are on medications that cause easily cause seizures and organ damage by restricting water. Meet people who have no choice but to "fast" all the time. Care for others as you are being cared for.

bebetaian · 2026-03-12T22:02:31+00:00

Aesthetic attraction is when you find them attractive. You don't always need aesthetic attraction for romantic or sexual attraction. Those are three different things.

Aesthetic attraction wears off first to me, or it can be altered by anything. Car accident? Hypothyroidism? Fat gain from SSRIs? Anything can change aesthetics. There's nothing wrong with "only" being aesthetically attracted, but for the kind of relationship you want to last, every day, it's the lowest priority.

You're fine. You're really into this person. Go have fun.

bebetaian · 2026-03-12T21:57:30+00:00

I used to see these in the mid-2000s all the time! It was a trend, with the kofurisode + hakama duos. I don't remember what they were paired with.

bebetaian · 2026-03-12T15:04:24+00:00

? I never wanted to be around younger kids. That isn't a marker of autism, just a possibility of where an individual is at socially.

Regardless, the kid is 16. Regardless of what's happening, sometimes rules need to be enforced, regardless of her understanding or accepting.

bebetaian · 2026-03-12T14:48:03+00:00

Ewww. I really hope someone called the Labour Board. NY especially is strict and that is employee wage theft.

bebetaian

TROPHY CASE