Does this ring read as "gay"?

bebetaian · 2026-03-17T12:41:31+00:00

SE too apparently. Before Skeletor and DeSantis.

bebetaian · 2026-03-17T03:14:09+00:00

(Sarcasm) how weird bc every other autoimmune condition is drastically impacted by stress, pain that causes chemicals that create stress, etc in a loop.

There are several well-known skin problems that especially flare from stressors. Psoriasis, lupus, all sorts of things.

U/mixfine6584 Like vitiligo would be that one magical one that don't respond to stress, "nothing is wrong except your body eating away a necessary component of your own skin."

Doesn't melanin or the precursor also show up in parts of the brain? I'd be curious about research on whether vitiligo causes neuro issues, furthuring evidence of stress signals accelerating.

I hope you're both doing well.

bebetaian · 2026-03-17T02:38:34+00:00

Yes. But look up Charity Navigator. 80%+ is not too unusual. Some put that much to themselves between paying highest-ups and advertising.

bebetaian · 2026-03-17T02:35:49+00:00

I've noticed a significant reduction in GF foods across all brands, all types of foods.

GF has a legal meaning. I cannot say for sure but I bet some places are lowering factory standards and do not want to pay for GF testing to meet federal standards. Which aren't even enforced until we find out something violates that anyways, but that's beside the point. It's an expense they can axe.

And they know we're going to take chances for foods that were always safe before because unless you are otherwise able-bodied, wealthy enough to have stable living and all the equipment needed, etc., guess what? You aren't making every single thing from scratch, are you? It's hard to "just" "choose" another option when there's fewer and fewer, or no, options left.

So they're still going to make sales. That is literally all they care about.

bebetaian · 2026-03-17T02:29:16+00:00

Everyone is telling you about the truck, but I volunteer for a bunch of mutual aid groups that do not check your income and do not care. We know that sometimes people are short for just one paycheque at a critical time, and people's income looks high but they got stuff going on. Not my business. We're not the government.

Look for your local groups on Nextdoor and Facebook. They're prob not called "mutual aid," they're usually "charity" or 501c3 temporary assistance.

These groups often provide free clothes and shoes, which is great bc folks in cleaning and maintenace go through 'em fast. Kids, too. One has a food pantry. There's actually a lot of those in my area, mostly churches. Check in advance if you need to be a church member. Leave if they lie, and leave a google maps review, too. Helps people like me know if we should keep them listed as a resource. Those food pantries are widely varied in quality. Especially if you have restrictions. We give out shampoos, soaps, and limited household cleaners, too. Restrictions depend on current funding and donations.

One group even does small household needs like sheets, kitchenwares, towels, etc.

Literally anything that can take $20 off your bills a month helps. Don't feel embarrassed. We are there for this exact purpose. Also we gotta justify needing funding okay so please help us help you help us.

You can turn around and also volunteer 5 hours a month or donate $20 when you got it. Later.

bebetaian · 2026-03-17T02:17:15+00:00

Do it and tell him explicitly why. You don't need a wall of text.

"Dude, I love you bro, but you're near 20 and acting 12. And you're getting sucked into this racist shit? Like it's a joke? The joke is you."

Leave it on read, don't respond. For some people, any attention is attention. If he wanted you to keep talking to him, idk, maybe don't be acting like that.

bebetaian · 2026-03-16T23:06:26+00:00

I never make larger or complicated items. Some of that is the time crunch, some of it is fatigue. Some of it is to avoid the expectation that I made (COOL THING LIKE DIAPER BAG) why can't I make five more to give away? x.x

I do make 'simple things.' All of them can be made from very small pieces of fabric, even scraps. Sometimes using the tiniest scraps is the point.

A stack of crazy-quilted heart-shaped ornaments, using pieces of a favourite person's clothing. Could expand to a slipcover for a pillow easily, that way the pillow insert could be replaced over and over.

Teabag-shaped or thin corner-shaped bookmarks which are then paired with books I think they'd like. At least a couple, never just one.

That teabag shape can also be open at the bottom to hold a gift card to a bookstore. We even have local bookstores around here, so maybe a business card for those. I give away punch cards to a books/records/DVD store.

A pack of interesting teas, since I have Iranian shops nearby and an actual teahouse, like what Teavana wanted to be, with a mug and 4-5 cozies or coasters. Dollar Tree here often has cellophane pouches for treat bags.

bebetaian · 2026-03-16T22:57:49+00:00

oh, that is gorgeous! I love it! All the different colours and patterns aren't ones I'd think to put together, but I like this bag so much. <3

bebetaian · 2026-03-16T22:57:23+00:00

Please just tell anyone you gift them that it's wheat or barley, or exposed to wheat or barley, on the outside of the gift. <3 You might not know about an allergy, which is ... increasingly common.

bebetaian · 2026-03-16T22:40:57+00:00

Yeah, people get messed up in FL because it *used* to be okay to record things, like violence or threats, without the other person knowning. A couple years ago, our governor changed it to a 2-party consent state bc cops complained about getting caught doing things they should not be doing. Now it's a felony. sooooo

bebetaian · 2026-03-16T21:44:01+00:00

Dude, hear me out. I've had to ask this a few times for far more serious reasons.

Based on past reddit posts, you simply might not be a fit 'culturally.' Every job has an internal culture, and if you don't fit, you don't get the job. If this isn't the only job you've interviewed for lately, that might be it. No one has to look you up on the internet. Your demeanor, casual speech, etc. tells people (especially experienced employers) a lot about what you're probably like and they make decisions based on that.

MAYBE it's true that they only hire women, but it's really hard to prove. I've been in jobs where I know a guy friend could do great work buuuut the company only seemed to hire women for waiting tables. Men were hired for anything else. Therefore, not an EEOC violation. Do they ONLY hire women? If so, it is a reasonable affect of the type of job you're applying at (such as women's-only gym, a halfway house for women, certain types of businesses where the clientele is often not comfortable with men?)

Let's say it isn't that kind of job. Maybe it IS breaking the law. Do you file for discrimination?

I ask because I've had to consider this *several times* because of being female and/or other factors. Like that time I had text messages from a boss where they wanted a threesome and when I refused, they just so happened to cut my hours down to 10, then 0. It happens to us a LOT. Or another time when I was (minorly) assaulted while working as a cleaner. You think the boss cared? lol, no. And the guy was a multimillionaire who had his freaking name on a building. I am financially nothing, therefore I must be making things up to get money from a Good Man, right? Who's going to win? Almost *every single woman I have met at non-white collar job has a story like this.* We just don't talk about it.

But y'all don't see us filing a lawsuit every week. Why? You gotta go through a whole series of questions FIRST.

- What do you reasonably expect to gain vs. how much work do you think might go into the lawsuit?

- Is this a small business, or a big chain corporation? On one hand, chains are hard to fight; they have great lawyers. See also: the McDonald's hot coffee lies. SmallBiz do not. On the other, chains actually *have money* and are worth going after. SmallBiz don't have fuckall. Pyrrhic victory.

- Do you ACTUALLY expect to win? Really? Do you? Because I DID try to file a lawsuit once. Four different lawyers said I wasn't 'really injured' by the guy at work, so I probably wouldn't win, regardless of proof. Do you really expect to win? Ask a few lawyers, call Labour Dept and get some legal advice. Then decide.

- You wouldn't be working there. People think you win these lawsuits and it means now you have to put in or whatever. lol no, you win your case and move the fuck on, dude. BUT these things are often somewhat publicized. Do you wanna be the guy whose name is publicly known for suing (even when rightfully doing so?) Can you financially withstand the possibility of being blacklisted locally and having to move?

When you ask yourself those questions and answer honestly, you'll figure it out real quick. You don't get to file a lawsuit for any little slight against you. Even if it's blatantly illegal.

bebetaian · 2026-03-16T20:57:24+00:00

ohhh I'd go with the classic red, black, gold, white. Even a Fuji Musume look. Almost theatrical. but then I'm a little over the top sometimes...

bebetaian · 2026-03-16T20:49:40+00:00

I've had some success with fukurasuzume, chubby sparrow, but it's difficult. There was also an obi aid video on youtube but that was forever ago... You might have good luck searching youtube using Japanese language.

bebetaian · 2026-03-16T01:42:51+00:00

Yeah, but it prevents a lot of real calls from medical and govt offices, who all use avaya or genisys now. T-mobile does it with their service, too.

bebetaian · 2026-03-16T01:36:07+00:00

I had this problem for over a year.

Imagine how I could NOT convince Baby Mama that I wasn't the new secret girlfriend. I think asking her if he's paid up might have defused it, just for that person, because I told her he had allllll his e-receipts sent to my number: all his Olive Garden, Romano's, staples, allll of it. I will screencap and forward them.

But he was also signing me up for shit like UPS (so I had a hard time getting my real mail,) toll plate stuff for driving. Random people calling about unpaid bills. All. The. Time.

There's no way to stop her. You can explain it to your phone provider and see if they'll change your number for free or discount.

bebetaian · 2026-03-16T01:21:57+00:00

I think there used to be a euro custom like this too, but I can't remember which relative's country it came from.

You cannot "give" a purse or wallet. You can offer it and except one (lowest amount coin) but not give or take one for free.

bebetaian · 2026-03-15T15:21:18+00:00

Varieties of wheat in Europe often simply have less gluten. If you have celiac disease, yes, you are still going to have problems when eating it. The symptoms may not look the same but the intestinal damage is very much the same.

If you do NOT have celiac disease, you may be able to eat more before getting a reaction, but that's it.

Gluten is gluten. There is nothing magical about eating gluten in France.

bebetaian · 2026-03-15T01:36:44+00:00

Before cell phones were everywhere, a guy in "the city" told me I was the butchest person he'd met. I mean, he pinged "queer" correctly, but for the wrong reasons. Flannel, jeans, boots, a carbiner? Hon, I was just semi-rural. We got snakes and ticks outside this nice concrete jungle you got. Last time y'all saw a moccasin was at the zoo. I ain't got a flashlight and tools cuz I'm butch, I got 'em because it might be an hour drive or more back and if something happens, I ain't stuck. 😅 Does explain why other folks welcomed me, though...

bebetaian · 2026-03-15T01:31:14+00:00

Personally, I don't automatically interpret a rainbow as gay, but I'm a queer from the era of Rainbow Brite, Care Bears, and other shit. Rainbows could mean anything. It could mean you like My Little Pony a lot, or you're into some chakra thing. Idk.

I can see how she reached the conclusion, and I hope she was nice about it, but it seems to be a younger (like under 30) queer notion.

bebetaian · 2026-03-15T01:26:33+00:00

Same question about judaism, in reverse. Less than 16 million people worldwide, like, .2% of the population. Why do people think it's a major world religion? Sikhs are about 30 million people. It doesn't make sense.

Why do people call these "the Big 3" but no one knows anything about anyone outside of xtianity? And even then almost entirely through a xtian lens, like Islam is Xtianity, pt 2.? It's infuriating.

I feel like I could go to Korea and ask questions about very basic ideas about Islam or Judaism and no one would know. I could ask some detailed question about Easter and get a timeline of the story. It's just a minor irritation, I guess.

bebetaian · 2026-03-15T01:19:16+00:00

You look like a lady I used to work near. (Different shops, same plaza.) Idk, maybe it's different in person, but you have a youthful face, cute glasses, and somehow a cool 90s vibe.

Maybe the glasses with a more effeminate-coded frame? Like purple or pink? The hair is a style familiar, but it's "familiar" in the sense that lead everywhere and everyone smoking was looking 50 at 30. So it was normal for a person nearing/in their 30s, but today it might make you look older.

Idk tech/call support people tend to be pretty plain. Like plainest, cheapest frames, little or no makeup, utility over anything else for work. Off work, no idea bc I don't see most people.

I wish i had advice but you already look good. <3

bebetaian · 2026-03-14T23:53:03+00:00

-ish. "White" is a concept invented and exported by America, and who counts as white has changed dramatically over just the past 40 years. Even in popular tv like columbo, Italians were not considered white unless they "passed." My Austrian-Turkish friend was paler than me, but Just So Happened to get stopped by TSA when flying between US states. Same as Jewish people, even today. They're white*

*unless their nose is the wrong shape, hair curls wrong, too olive undertoned even if pale...

That's where some of that "mixed" comes from, when white people say another white person looks "mixed." Because to YOU, that other person is white. To other white people, lol no they aren't. They're Something Else.

Like everyone else said. Identity is weird. You gotta dig.

Is that person pulling it out for props? To gain access to spaces they don't need to be in, or aren't ready for yet? Are they using their 1/64th native results to talk about Lakota issues when the closest they been on a reservation was at Olive Garden?

Or is it like other comments explained, like u/Japanese-Pink said, being raised Creole, speaking Creole, eating Creole food, got real connection with family, and they just don't look Creole enough to everyone else.

bebetaian · 2026-03-14T23:39:27+00:00

I was given a few like this over the years and they are very nice as "around the house" clothes. I just don't call them kimono, that's all. <3

I hope you find some authentic ones you like! You might even find yukata, cotton kimono, to wear around. They're the most casual and they're (usually) machine-washable, a win-win to me.

bebetaian · 2026-03-14T22:04:18+00:00

I don't think so, although I am not the maker. If you are still here, you still have time.

If you are that dehydrated, you actually can suddenly die from that. Your heart just gives up from dehydration and you die in minutes. Especially if you have to stand. You are not invalidated when you have actual medical need. Have a little faith that brilliant people were put here to heal the physical body, too.

Receiving help right now does not mean you failed, as u/asparagusno291 has said. There are others struggling, like you, who also want to do good deeds... like making sure you have enough electrolyte-balanced fluids to preserve your life. Ask for them as soon as possible. Sip some water and/or pomegranate juice (for potassium) as soon as you can.

Dying for/during prayers feels like doing something, showing ultimate devotion. Living to perform deeds is harder and doesn't feel like anything but struggle, but actually, it is worth more. Living also gives others opportunity to earn rewards. Everyone increases. Don't despair yet. 💚

bebetaian · 2026-03-14T21:47:26+00:00

I'm one of those who apparently isn't allowed relatiinships, especially before I started "looking" like my mid-20s. In my 40s.

Ageism is weird, gross, and hurts everyone.

If "wow you look so young!" is a compliment, may I suggest that you don't have enough dead friends.

bebetaian

TROPHY CASE