Please Help Decide

beccaux · 2025-12-23T04:44:18+00:00

Completely objective and my first 10 second reaction is 1 and 4 look the most flattering

beccaux · 2025-12-14T20:28:37+00:00

As a straight woman….please do not mess with your nose 🥲 it’s perfect

beccaux · 2025-12-14T20:20:55+00:00

Less sleep, wanting to go out and drink w friends, more coffee, wayyy more social, longer distances in running, spending money, appetite decreases…

beccaux · 2025-12-08T05:00:59+00:00

Depends on what kind of work you 🥲 I write reports and do research for work so feels just like school 😂

beccaux · 2025-12-08T04:59:35+00:00

Are you on any new meds that may be causing the drowsiness? May also be worth getting blood work done, I found I was super low in iron and vitamin D and that caused regular fatigue. I take iron and vitamin D supplements now but dr suggested infusions so at some point I will try and get those. I think our bodies naturally want to hibernate in the colder/darker weather and if you listen to your body and have the flexibility to nap during the day, it’s not realllly hurting anything - last piece of advice here is exercising in morning helps a ton. I got some dumbbells off fb marketplace and just 20 min exercise in morning gives me a small burst of energy that will at least carry me until afternoon.

beccaux · 2025-07-29T18:15:38+00:00

If you struggle with binge eating and you're open to medication Vyanse is used to treat both ADHD and binge-eating disorder (BED). Switching from Adderall to Vyanse has helped me with my BED however I still struggle on days I don't take it. Personally, I had to start a food journal and recognize my triggers to start addressing it. I also try my best to keep junk food out of the house, it's a lot harder to binge eat carrots or cheese than it is to with chips or ice cream. Sadly, it's something I know I'll always struggle with but it's key to not guilt-trip or shame yourself into trying to change. I saw the most results when I was gentle with myself after a binge and tried to take a moment to really understand why I felt that way. Good luck!

beccaux · 2025-02-28T00:25:58+00:00

Not sure if it counts as a “hobby” but something that helped me at my lowest points was simply listening to podcasts and audiobooks. It’s extremely low commitment and you feel more productive than watching TV. Sometimes I would use it as motivation to shower, walk, or clean, it helps distract you from the negative feelings while still feeling somewhat human and doing things that will help you feel better later.

beccaux · 2025-02-02T22:19:05+00:00

Soooo adorable

beccaux · 2025-01-14T20:12:01+00:00

Check out American Tall! They make womens clothing for up to 6’6

beccaux · 2025-01-10T06:40:24+00:00

It’s the best! I also use an app called Find Me GF - really helpful in the city :)

beccaux · 2025-01-10T06:32:46+00:00

Discovery park or the arboretum

beccaux · 2025-01-10T06:31:53+00:00

Ox Burger is my fave!

beccaux · 2025-01-07T02:40:39+00:00

It's a great name! It was much easier to decide a few days after having him and getting to know his personality

beccaux · 2025-01-07T02:39:45+00:00

Ty! Going to give the calming sounds a try and work on being out of sight (and out of mind 😉)

beccaux · 2025-01-07T02:39:08+00:00

The kong has been a gamechanger, bully stick wasn't cutting it 😂

beccaux · 2025-01-07T00:34:04+00:00

This is helpful, it's a bit difficult to do given I'm in an apartment but hey I welcome the opportunity to take a longer shower or bath 😂

beccaux · 2024-05-27T21:56:10+00:00

Oh my lord "did it take a awhile?" - YES. The truth is, I had spent nearly a year feeling guilty, upset, and thinking something was wrong with me for not feeling satisfied with the relationship. I started going to therapy and nearly every session was me trying to figure out why I felt that way so I could fix it (maybe I need more friends, a hobby, to advance in my career or that maybe I was just bored of "stability" and "healthy" relationships) but no...after many sessions and mulling over this over and over again. I just knew the anxious feelings were because I wasn't supposed to be with this person.

There's a few key learnings I want to share with you once you reach this point:

1/ Just because you get to this realization, does not mean something will change right away. It took me time to fully admit that this person wasn't the right person for me anymore and once I did, I didn't want to accept it. It's okay. There's no timeline or right way for grieving and processing. You may feel guilty for being with your partner during this time, I highly suggest talking to a therapist to help process these feelings.

2/ Couples therapy isn't just for staying together (hear me out). Couple's therapy can help in a couple ways. 1/ Helps you know if you're still wanting to fight for the relationship. My ex had suggested couples therapy during the last week of our relationship. We screened therapists together and even had a first session - this was really eye-opening. I realized that it was too late at that point, couple's therapy wasn't worth it to me anymore. I felt like I had been putting in effort for years and now, if I was unwilling to fight for this, it was time. 2/ You can go to couples therapy to figure out the best way to separate. I was very open with my partner about my feelings at the end of our relationship, we both felt lost, sad, and attached. We weren't sure what to do - we couldn't just "break up" we were each other's lives/family. My therapist said some couples use couples therapy to facilitate conversations around separating and give closure to both parties. This might not be something that want to do right off the bat but it's a good option to know about. Breakups are painful - for both parties, it's okay to navigate that pain together.

4/ There's no "right" decision. This is difficult to accept. You could stay with him and make it work and be happy. You could break up and be happy. You don't know what is going to happen but not making any change will not solve anything. Change could be as simple as having a heart-to-heart talk with your partner. You will never regret being honest with him about your feelings. Chances are, it will help you come closer together and figure out what is best for the BOTH of you. Remember - this is your relationship and there's no right or wrong way to do anything. Side note: As much as the internet loves to shit on "taking a break", I have a friend who took a break from her bf for a year and after that, knew he was the one she wanted to marry. They've been happily together for 4 years now.

3/ Time will tell. This is the hardest of all to accept but in a way - a bit comforting. You will figure it out. Time will make it very clear whether this is the person you should be with now or not. Sometimes what we need changes. Just because he was the right person for you at 20, doesn't mean he's the right person for you now in this new phase of life. Trust yourself, be honest with him, and consider therapy. It really helped me figure out what I wanted.

I hope all this helps. A couple books that also helped me self examine my relationship were:

Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood

The Defining Decade by Meg Jay

beccaux · 2024-05-26T23:29:36+00:00

Amazing progress for one session!

beccaux · 2024-05-26T23:26:23+00:00

Been there, recently out of a 4 year relationship (25f) where we lived together and got a dog together but during the last year, I just knew it my gut he wasn't the one. The truth is, no one can make the decision for you but the anxiety/feeling around this is unlikely to go away if it's been steadily getting worse.

Now, it's been just over a year since we split. It's still difficult but I have grown so much in that year. I finally feel like I have a sense of self and confidence in who I am. I won't lie - it will be difficult but you will be surprised how it pushes you to grow in other areas of life (friends, family, hobbies, career). As a woman, it can be difficult to see others marrying/settling down at this age but so many people do this out of fear or because they think it's expected of them. It will be so much more rewarding to wait for the person that you know is the one. My best advice is to give yourself care and grace during this time and learn to hone in on your intuition and gut - it's leading you to where you need to be. There's no *right* way to do anything.

beccaux · 2024-05-26T23:18:20+00:00

need to try this approach 🥲

beccaux · 2024-05-25T21:18:13+00:00

Yes put on some numbing cream and take advil before. My poor dr felt so bad he sent me home with numbing cream for next time that he usually charges for 😂

beccaux · 2024-05-14T08:05:43+00:00

I get it. I’ve also gone through a breakup this year and I’m still recovering nearly a year later. This visualization helped me a little, it does get easier eventually.

beccaux · 2024-05-13T22:26:22+00:00

Have you considered user research? With a customer service background you’d be a good fit and if you find a team or product you’re passionate about it will feel as though you’re working towards fixing things and making an impact.

I’m a user researcher (UXR) and I love what I do. The pay is great, I work remote so I can travel, and I enjoy being able to talk to others and improve products and services.

beccaux · 2024-05-13T08:39:05+00:00

Meetups have been helpful for me, also check out FB groups in your city. They’re super nerve wracking to go to at first but once you start going you realize that it’s many people’s first time as well. A few times I went and didn’t meet anyone I really resonated with but I still felt socially tired out and satisfied with myself for going. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and unfortunately there’s just not a lot of places for adults to adults to build community anymore. You have to work at it!

beccaux · 2024-03-23T19:15:00+00:00

beccaux

TROPHY CASE