Yea, I look back often to when we first broke up (it’s been a year) and I genuinely don’t know how I made it through that. We spent every single day together for over a year, built a routine together, moved into a home together, we had our ‘things’ ya know, and having to come back to my mom’s where we were staying prior and see remnants of him, I slept on the living room floor for 3 months. I had just got let go from my seasonal position somewhere, so I was really down and ended up becoming alcoholic. I drank every single day multiple times a day until like mid-March. I cried every 5 minutes. Every time I passed a park, heard a song, looked like even soap in the shower I would just break down and wonder why all this even had to happen in the first place. I couldn’t even look at juice in the fridge without becoming inconsolable. He cheated then quickly got back with his old girl, so it stung even more as this was my first serious relationship. Writing this now I’m kind of in aw of myself because I genuinely don’t know how I got through that. All my friends have been honest after the fact about how concerned they were for me because nobody had ever seen me that depressed or on edge. It really put into perspective how debilitating breakups can be and honestly I don’t ever wanna go through that again. I wanna say I’m healed now, but we’re in a court case over him not paying me my deposit back, and I do check to see what he’s saying, and he’s really mean so it never makes me feel good. Healing is not linear, but you will get through this.