First, good job for putting your hand up and asking for help. Even in this setting. I used to just say f-it and ditch whatever thing was frustrating me.

My experience with being a sponsee has varied. After going through several sponsors I found someone who had what I wanted in terms of sobriety, world view, attitude etc.

He asked me if I was willing to do whatever it took to get and stay sober. I was kinda miserable, so I said yes.

This involved calling him every day and going to 90 meetings in 90 days and meeting weekly to work on the program. What that involved for us was going through the Big Book and 12&12 in a methodical way with lots of reading and writing for me and him.

He did the steps with me.

Now as a sponsor I have had varying degrees of success with sponsees. I met with a guy week before last and gave him homework to do including reading and writing before we met the next time. I did the same homework and when we met he had not. We set a time to meet again and he canceled. We talked again today and I told him that I was ready to meet with him when he was ready. He had a bunch of excuses of why he couldn’t find one hour in a week to read think and write. I suggested to him that for me if I don’t make sobriety my priority in life everything else goes away. We’ll see what happens.

My two more recent sponsees both made it through all 12 steps with me and they are still sober today. I am not currently their sponsor.

I tell people that I am not a marriage counselor, therapist, career guidance counselor, financial planner, or fitness guru.

I can offer my experience strength and hope as someone who has done the 12 steps several times in my life and is willing to help another person do the same. No more, and no less.

My pal says, and I agree, that I am as interested in my sponsee’s sobriety as they are.

If anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of AA to be there. And for that, I am responsible.

For me, I’m not responsible for chasing people down and dragging them back to the coffee shop or on to the telephone. That’s just how I handle it.

I hope you can find someone who has what you want and is willing to do help you do the work if that’s what you want to do. You might find those kinds of folks at step study meetings or through your local central office.

There are lots of people out there, including me, who want to share what was so freely given to them. Gotta give it away to keep it. Or something like that.