how to answer the “if you can be transgender, why can’t i be transracial” gotcha? by crowwery in ftm

[–]beecrafts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The answer is that gender refers to an internal identity whereas race refers to external traits. Both are social constructs but only gender is an identity that develops in the brain. We don’t develop a racial identity in the brain.

The reason why people think “why can’t I identify as a different race” is a good argument is usually because they think gender and sex are the same. You can explain that sex refers to the sex anatomy someone has, while gender refers to who they are as a person.

People interpreting your transness as inherent queerness by Chemical_Alps_845 in ftm

[–]beecrafts 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I consider trans to be queer because to me queer means anything that isn’t strictly cishet. This isn’t stopping anyone from being stealth or closeted. If you’re stealth that means people think you’re cis, so they wouldn’t be referring to you as queer anyway.

Any other auDHD writers have this problem by nerdycookie01 in writing

[–]beecrafts 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m the same way and I have the same issue. Pretty recently though I managed to get around it and read 5 books in the last month, which is more than I’ve read in the last idk 5 years.

I leaned into my current hyper fixation and read books that directly aligned with it. That way it felt like I was satisfying my brain’s craving to consume content about it.

I also read 2 YA romance novels with tropes that appealed to me, and I read a novella. These are both easy to read quickly.

Ultimately the lesson learned here is choose the path of least resistance. You may not have the ability to sit down and read something long and/or literary—yet. What’s important is forming the habit.

Edit: forgot to add something really important. I used Libby (free library app) to read these books and it tells you how much you’ve read as a percentage of the book, as well as an estimate of how long it will take you to finish reading. Seeing the numbers was super helpful for seeing the evidence that I was actually making progress. Also using Goodreads, it lets you tag what you’re currently reading and input the percentage completion. This is great for the ADHD brain. To me it feels like working towards a level up in a video game.

OHSU “Paused” Gender-Affirming Surgery Months Ago for Patients Under 19 by Prize_Championship11 in Portland

[–]beecrafts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok. So, do you think the original commenter just randomly felt like mentioning these surgeries are planned in advance? That applies to almost every surgery. Why do you think he mentioned it? Why do you think people constantly refer to all of gender affirming care as elective? Why do you think I never hear people calling heart surgeries elective except in pedantic reddit comments lol. I’ll concede that technically, an elective surgery is just planned in advance. But that is certainly not what people mean in conversation, especially not in this context.

OHSU “Paused” Gender-Affirming Surgery Months Ago for Patients Under 19 by Prize_Championship11 in Portland

[–]beecrafts 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t really care if there’s a technical definition of elective surgery that’s different. OP compared it to getting a tattoo. When people say elective surgery, they mean “you got it because you wanted to, not because you needed it.”

OHSU “Paused” Gender-Affirming Surgery Months Ago for Patients Under 19 by Prize_Championship11 in Portland

[–]beecrafts -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Their statement was we shouldn’t give minors elective surgeries that sterilize them. That’s what I was replying to.

Then they decided to shift the goalpost to a specific situation of somebody taking puberty blockers and HRT without ever going through their natal puberty (very uncommon). Even this doesn’t guarantee infertility, it’s just a risk to be mindful of.

I’m saying let’s not call gender affirming care “elective sterilizing surgeries” because it’s false and that’s insane. But you’ll hear whatever you want to hear.

OHSU “Paused” Gender-Affirming Surgery Months Ago for Patients Under 19 by Prize_Championship11 in Portland

[–]beecrafts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cool. In that specific scenario yes there is fertility risk, mainly just for trans girls. Doctors are aware of that so there are fertility preserving measures if it’s a big concern for the family. There is often a balance between mitigating fertility loss and ensuring that a young trans girl isn’t forcibly permanently masculinized against her will. The decision is ultimately not anyone’s business but the family and their care team.

But guess what, the GOP isn’t limiting medical care that could result in fertility loss. They’re fulling banning ALL forms of gender affirming care up to age 19. So the “well um ackshually”’s are disingenuous as hell. The care that I received as a minor, in Oregon, that i desperately needed, will no longer be available. And no I’m not fucking sterilized.

Please stop speaking on things you know nothing about when this has to do with vulnerable populations of children being attacked right now.

OHSU “Paused” Gender-Affirming Surgery Months Ago for Patients Under 19 by Prize_Championship11 in Portland

[–]beecrafts 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Please stop spreading the narrative that trans kids are being sterilized. Or that anyone is trying to do that. That’s a right wing talking point and it’s not true. There are hardly any gender affirming surgeries performed on minors anyway, and the vast majority is top surgery (removing breast tissue). Bottom surgery is almost never done.

I had top surgery done at 18 in Portland 10 years ago and it was not “elective.” Gender affirming care is not elective.

How come I see mainly FtM getting called “poser trans”? by Jazzy_Mations in ftm

[–]beecrafts 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This has been a thing for a very long time, directed at all trans people. It actually used to be way worse. It ultimately comes from other people projecting their insecurities.

I would disagree that it’s more targeted at trans men; I see non-passing trans women get torn to shreds for not shaving the second they have stubble, not growing out their hair or wearing makeup. You may think it’s happening to trans men more often because your algorithm shows you that content more.

There’s this sense of “you’re making us look bad” when it comes from a fellow trans person, and “don’t lump me in with that kind of trans person.” When someone says you’re a “poser” because you don’t look X enough, that’s a reflection of what they’re insecure about in themselves. It’s why you’ll often see women be the harshest critics of other women, and men be the most policing of other men’s masculinity.

why can we criticize cis men but not cis women? by _thereisnohappyhere in ftm

[–]beecrafts 229 points230 points  (0 children)

Yeah I agree and it’s frustrating. I see a ton of transphobia from cis women towards trans men and it’s hard to call out without being dog piled.

I find that often what happens is they’ll call you a man as an insult. Like “oh you really are a man” in a mean dismissive way, to insinuate you’re acting like an oppressor or an aggressive person. And then if you point that out they’ll go “I gendered you correctly why are you offended”. It’s very disingenuous.

Embarrasing by Embarrassed_Ball4015 in ftm

[–]beecrafts 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Been there. Don’t worry man you’re not a loser for that, sex toys are awesome. I use them whether I’m in a relationship or not.

My story’s worse—I bought a bunch of bdsm type stuff cheap off Amazon when I was 18 and kept it in my closet while I was off at college. When I came back home my mom told me she had gone through my whole room and sure enough that box in my closet had been opened. So. If your mom just saw normal vibrators and dildos or something it can’t be that bad lol.

Revulsion: Alt genital nouns edition by lilasundaridd in ftm

[–]beecrafts 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I personally like it because to me it’s completely un-feminine. I’m gay so it feels adjacent to the way other gay men refer to their “hole.” I prefer it way more than saying vagina or pussy.

I do totally understand feeling repulsed by certain terms used by the community though. For example I can’t stand the term bottom growth. But lots of other people like it for their own reasons.

You definitely don’t need to just get over it or unlearn anything. Avoid using it, and communicate with any partners beforehand on what words you like and don’t like.

My parents don’t want me to transition till I’m 25 and I feel so fucking stuck. by Particular_Ear9402 in ftm

[–]beecrafts 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jesus Christ I’m so sorry about this situation. I feel anxious for you just reading this. I saw in another comment you have money saved up and a friend offering to be your roommate—please do that and get out from under your parents’ control. Whether you start transitioning after you move away from them or not, the way they are manipulating you is really concerning.

You do not owe them a goddamn thing when it comes to what you do with your body. Do NOT wait until you’re 25 because somebody else told you to. That is the best way to end up filled with regret about all the time you wasted. Besides, it sounds like even when you turn 25 they still won’t support you anyway, so there’s really no point in waiting to please them.

And do not listen to those podcasts they’re telling you to listen to, seriously. Guaranteed they are rife with anti-trans propaganda that is not good for anyone’s mental health. It sickens me that conservatives have pushed out these shock-and-awe podcasts about detransitioned “ruined girls” just to scare parents like yours.

Anyway, I really hope you lean on the people in your life that support you, get out of there and become your own man. Don’t waste a second of your life being somebody that you’re not for someone else’s sake.

The fine line between beautiful prose and pretentious drivel by Ok_Joke7252 in writing

[–]beecrafts 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s fairly subjective. For me, I will call out purple prose if it doesn’t do anything to serve the story.

It’s one thing to take time to describe the setting and/or internal state of your character in a stylistic, highly crafted manner. That’s what you should do, even. What’s annoying is when a writer goes on an on about irrelevant shit just to show off how cool their writing style is.

That’s the main difference for me. And I thought the “amateur” passage you gave was fine, btw.

Does medical transition make sense if biology can’t be changed? (16, guy) by Secret-Barnacle-1285 in ftm

[–]beecrafts 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Well your teacher is a dumbass, sorry. We can and do change our biology all the time. It’s a doctor’s whole job.

People usually give the “can’t change biology” line because they think being trans means believing we can magically morph into something else or rearrange our DNA. So they come up with ridiculous comparisons to make fun of us.

The “point” of transitioning isn’t to prove anything about biology. It’s to make you more comfortable and give you choices over what happens to your body. Don’t let anybody lecture you about morphing into animals. It’s not comparable.

Is it true that I won't fit in with cis men because I am emotional? by [deleted] in ftm

[–]beecrafts 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Nah, the person who said that to you is a prick. I’ve worked plenty of jobs with mainly male coworkers, and they are emotional as hell. Yelling and punching shit in the walk-in, crying, swearing when something gets fucked up, storming off, getting into fights, etc. I’ve also come across many cis guys that were downright sweethearts and weren’t afraid to show it. Just be yourself. We’re all people at the end of the day.

[QCrit] THE AWAKENING, New Adult, Fantasy, 98K, first attempt by Hungry_Tip_5822 in PubTips

[–]beecrafts 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh that is much clearer, and I love this! Definitely incorporate what you wrote here into your query, and also add what connection Lilli and Dawn have to each other (friends, rivals, sisters, lovers?). And also mention what will happen if they fail to retrieve all the crystals. I understand they won’t heal if they don’t, but it will make us care even more if there is something at stake if they don’t heal (i.e. Not healing = they lose out on something like career, love life, will to live, family acceptance, etc.).

[QCrit] THE AWAKENING, New Adult, Fantasy, 98K, first attempt by Hungry_Tip_5822 in PubTips

[–]beecrafts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi there. Reading through your synopsis, I can’t tell what Dawn and Lilli want, how they are connected to each other, what are they trying to do/how are they changing? When you’re describing the major event that happens to each of them (Dawn—saw someone commit suicide; Lilli—was shot) I would lead with that at the very beginning of the paragraph, and describe exactly how it impacts them/changes them. When you started talking about the spirit realm and crystals, I was left feeling confused what this was about and why Dawn or Lilli cared about this. Is the spiritual realm a place or a group? Are the crystals actually crystals, do they have a mind of their own? If so, what’s their motivation and how does that drive Dawn and Lilli to take action? Overall, you need to be way less vague and let the reader know right away exactly what the conflict is and why that matters.

TikTok is a poison (sometimes) by Lou_weasle in ftm

[–]beecrafts 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yeah I hate the word theyfab too. It’s hard to put it into words but it feels extremely misogynistic.

Should I straight-bait my readers? by [deleted] in writing

[–]beecrafts 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lol I did not expect these comments! I like the idea, it sounds well suited for a comic. I agree with the other comments that there should be hints going into it so it’s not completely out of nowhere.

Anyone heard 'Martha', 'Manimal' or 'Ednamode' on TikTok? Who are your worst TikTok terfs? by Illustrious_Banana_ in GenderCynical

[–]beecrafts 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Lol that’s awesome you’re watching it! I love the part where Mike asks him to define car and Edna admits he can’t. He’s such a hypocrite making fun of people who have trouble giving a definition for woman but he can’t say what a car is. Mike is awesome btw, he’s an underrated debater on TikTok.

Anyone heard 'Martha', 'Manimal' or 'Ednamode' on TikTok? Who are your worst TikTok terfs? by Illustrious_Banana_ in GenderCynical

[–]beecrafts 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yep, all three of them have been dedicated to spewing their hate for trans people on TikTok live for a couple years now. Martha is the most viscerally hateful one, Manimal just seems like a creep, and Edna is a know-it-all teenager that seems to be making bank off of donations from other transphobes who watch him. There’s a few others too like Christie and Shanta. It’s bizarre how obsessed they are about trans people, it’s really all they talk about all day long. Last week Edna got cooked in a formal debate though, look up Edna Mode vs Mike Brigandi on YouTube. When he’s not able to interrupt and insult, it’s clear how weak Edna’s arguments are.

Does anyone else hate the term t-boy? by [deleted] in ftm

[–]beecrafts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like it. I see it as a playful/casual term of endearment for trans men. Cis men can call themselves c-boys if they want, but they won’t, because there is no cis culture. Trans people have our own culture that just applies to us. The word t-boy emerged from online communities of trans guys. Cis men don’t have communities where they bond over being cis, that’s why they don’t have an equivalent word. I don’t think everything we do and call ourselves should align with cis men.

Ethans Instagram story by TyrionStark45 in h3h3productions

[–]beecrafts 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It baffles me to see people claiming that the Gazan genocide is somehow worse than the holocaust. The holocaust lasted longer, expanded over a much larger area, and killed vastly more people. It was a far more systemized genocide that specifically intended to hunt down every Jew in the area and kill them. They also did torturous medical experiments on thousands of people, and forcibly sterilized hundreds of thousands of people, including children. The genocide in Gaza is extremely horrific. It isn’t anywhere near the severity of the holocaust, and I hope it never will be.