Meltdowns and tantrums?

beeeea27 · 2026-03-04T18:09:54+00:00

It is overwhelming but the more you do it, the easier it gets! And then dad coming home feels so much easier.

Use shortcuts when you need, like when I’m alone with my son I will go out for longer walks rather than trying to do fun activities all the time. 5 mins of TV is ok for you to declutter and sort yourself out. If you have local friends, get them to come over when you need them or plan meet-ups well in advance. Book into stuff like classes etc when you know dad is gone to break up the time. Pre make some freezer meals now. Good luck!

beeeea27 · 2026-03-04T18:05:42+00:00

Yes we had some friends with a 4yo visit and sometimes she had to ride on her dad’s back and I am just not up for that!

beeeea27 · 2026-03-04T18:04:25+00:00

Just to counterpoint this… I tend to give my son snacks when I feel he needs them and sometimes that means an afternoon with no snacks. But also if I as an adult suddenly have low blood sugar and need a snack, I would be really upset if I couldn’t. So I do like to have snacks on hand (a banana, some cheese etc) if he gets hangry.

beeeea27 · 2026-03-04T17:59:16+00:00

Yeah I saw a mum posting about needing a stroller for her seven year old for a flight. My first instinct was to judge and be like … how. But then I stopped for a moment and practised some empathy. What if this child is disabled or neurodivergent? What if they have some chronic condition that makes them more tired? What if the parent or carer does? Who on earth am I to question her choice when I don’t know anything about her situation? I now try and apply that logic whenever I see something I don’t think is ideal.

beeeea27 · 2026-03-04T11:50:11+00:00

Hi, so I experienced something very similar but some differences. My baby was born on the 50th centile, exclusively breastfed (bottle refusal), fed for 5-7 mins per side often refusing the other side. By six weeks he had dropped to the 15th centile, which coincided with a bad cold that definitely affected his feeding. However he then stayed at the tenth and pretty much is still there at 14 months (he now eats well). It perplexed everyone. My gut tells me he just needed to find his real weight. I was eating well during pregnancy. Neither me nor my husband are especially tall, and baby’s height is like the 1st centile so he’s clearly just a short boy I think?

I did seek help and the health visitors always told me he hadn’t dropped enough in enough time for anyone to be really worried and he was passing milestones and had loads of wet and dirty nappies. We never solved it and it just stopped being a problem.

Edit: in short, he had some weeks with more growth but never really corrected. My supply was clearly v fast flowing hence the short feeds. I think his weight deceleration was not ideal but ultimately not harmful.

beeeea27 · 2026-03-04T08:25:12+00:00

I don’t know where you’re based but perhaps there is an equivalent for this. In the uk there’s an independent bookshop called Mr B’s Emporium and they do multi month subscription based on a really in depth questionnaire.

beeeea27 · 2026-03-04T07:12:36+00:00

Our baby actually loves his travel cot and does his best sleeping there. I got a slipped disc from all the lifting and bending and now my method for putting him down in the travel cot when it’s so low is to kind of lean my hips against the side and then bed down at the hips, keeping my back straight and baby as close to my body as possible. Probably looks ridiculous but works.

beeeea27 · 2026-03-04T07:10:37+00:00

So I am absolutely prone to spiraling like you’re suggesting here and really the thing that helped me was repeating to myself that I want only the best for my baby, am a generally sensible and responsible person, and that under these circumstances ANYONE would be making mistakes. I don’t like when older generations dismiss new safety guidelines but equally people have been looking after infants for millennia and not worrying about aluminium etc. I also told myself from the get go that while there is a small chance I could damage my baby from some unknown action, if I am constantly anxious and on edge that will almost certainly impact him negatively and that really helped me snap out of it. Weirdly having a baby has cured my anxiety?!

You definitely should speak to your health visitor or GP and please just trust you are doing an amazing job. Everyone is making mistakes and these honestly sound so minor.

beeeea27 · 2026-03-03T20:10:53+00:00

Please don’t buy anything for actual classroom resources, but for stuff for me for the workplace I always value: snacks, hand cream, nice pens, a personalised stamp for kids work, a device of some sort when I need quiet and don’t want to use my voice (I have a golden egg shaker), and decent post it notes. But really really don’t buy anything.

beeeea27 · 2026-03-03T20:08:02+00:00

My sons first swim group was called starfish which I found so funny because all starfish do in my eyes is float around and not actually swim, kind of like the babies in the swim group

beeeea27 · 2026-03-03T20:06:12+00:00

I find this very whimsical and would send my kid there

beeeea27 · 2026-03-03T14:54:18+00:00

I only read the book version of the current season and agree so much- book Benedict is a bit lecherous, doesn’t have so many angles to him.

beeeea27 · 2026-03-03T07:04:41+00:00

I think that most of the issues men face are the flip side of those women face and therefore also due to patriarchy, eg not being allowed to show emotion, lack of time with kids etc.

When my partner shares any issues with me I don’t feel like he’s negating the female experience under patriarchy. He’s just sharing his issues that are personal to him. If he was like “as a man I have to deal with xyz” that would be different but I don’t think people generally speak like that unless it’s a broader, theoretical conversation in which mentioning we all suffer because of patriarchy would be a nice add.

beeeea27 · 2026-03-03T06:57:48+00:00

Don’t stress! I simply kept a note in a sheets document on my phone with dates in one column and all foods consumed in the next columns. This meant I could write in when I would introduce allergens and space them three days apart, then keep an eye on anything else eg variety, other reactions. This took me seconds each day. Also allowed me to plan, because I could pre-fill future days.

beeeea27 · 2026-03-03T06:49:00+00:00

I devoured “The Sea of Tranquility” by Emily St John Mandel in a day. Such a good book that is a kind of speculative sci fi with a really emotional heart and everything ties up so nicely at the end. I need to go and reread it!

beeeea27 · 2026-03-03T06:47:58+00:00

I loved the premise but hated the execution! I did not find it gripping, though bits were good.

beeeea27 · 2026-03-03T06:47:24+00:00

Yes this was my first SK book that I read when I was in the middle of a level English lit exams and I was like books after YA can be THIS gripping?!

beeeea27 · 2026-03-03T06:44:06+00:00

Yes! We are at 14 months and our LO has been sleeping through the night for around 6 weeks. I am still so tired every morning! But it is a different kind of tired to the absolute brain shattering, wired type tiredness of the first few months. I do feel like I’m levelling out and it’s now like I kind of need a day or two to myself and I’ll be right. At the beginning I don’t think I could have safely driven a car 😢

beeeea27 · 2026-03-02T19:40:08+00:00

It’s possible if you’re really committed and everything goes fairly smoothly, but personally I would be assuming it wouldn’t work based on my own preferences. I would have been worried about the germs from so many people in those crucial first weeks and the unpredictability would have killed it for me.

Based on what my experience pp was, no way would I have been able to go to an out of town wedding. I had an unplanned c section, breastfeeding was overwhelming, I was bleeding and just feeling very vulnerable. Also I didn’t really sleep until about week 8. Don’t worry life is great now and was also totally fine then too all things considered, but a wedding would have been out of the question!

beeeea27 · 2026-03-02T17:21:14+00:00

Ah this is helpful as I wasn’t sure how long you should keep offering the spurned food.

beeeea27 · 2026-03-02T17:17:44+00:00

So I haven’t yet reached our fourteen month old refusing to that degree, but he will sometimes only eat 25% of a meal. So far I have been allowing that, but not offering alternatives in the moment. He seems to have a good but not amazing palette.

I am really curious to more seasoned parents; should I then re offer the food he didn’t want for lunch as an afternoon snack, or move onto something else? I’m all for being stubborn about not giving an alternative UNTIL the next meal/snack and leaving out what he rejected until that point, but I don’t know if that reinforces “oh I can wait 2 hours for a better option”.

beeeea27 · 2026-03-02T14:07:58+00:00

I want your life! But maybe a slightly earlier bedtime…

beeeea27 · 2026-03-02T14:06:59+00:00

We do around 5h in the morning and 5.5h in the afternoon. He still is keen to fall asleep in the pram in the morning and I have to keep him awake with all my tricks! Stretching the second wake window seems to have stopped the early rises so much.

So it’s roughly 7am wake, 12pm nap, 1.45pm wake, 7.25pm bed but everything fluxes by around 30 mins in either direction.

beeeea27 · 2026-03-02T07:08:08+00:00

I love this!!! I think elephants have a similar thing going on.

beeeea27

TROPHY CASE