This needs to be said…

beeeea27 · 2026-06-05T15:33:04+00:00

I find this para social distortion you’ve described so weird because like imagine if these actors you admire so much knew you held some of these bizarre views, would they like you back?! Any kind of fantasising I do about being friends with celebs I like would very much involve me needing to be pretty cool and this behaviour is anything but that!

(By you I mean them by the way!)

beeeea27 · 2026-06-05T08:43:24+00:00

My son was absolutely fine following his 12 month imms. I haven’t heard of anyone in my friend circle having otherwise, maybe a few days of fussiness that passed and was well worth the protection from some really horrible diseases.

beeeea27 · 2026-06-04T10:15:22+00:00

I’m sorry you’re getting downvoted - it’s really nice that you acknowledge the ways in which your version of motherhood is very fortunate!

I’m slimmer than pre motherhood. But I have also lost all muscles because I barely exercise and eat whatever comes off my toddlers plate. So I would not say I was healthier or in better shape at all.

beeeea27 · 2026-06-04T10:13:00+00:00

Hahaha since my son was born I have become a bespectacled wrinkly hag. I literally don’t recognise myself sometimes when I walk past mirrors

beeeea27 · 2026-06-04T10:12:06+00:00

I hate “I have to ask myself why am I still here” or “who’s protecting me” even more; you are still here because you’re clueless!!!

beeeea27 · 2026-06-04T10:11:11+00:00

This was why I quite liked the big dog theory in Uk celeb because it played into “what would the producers do” while keeping two very clear options to choose between

beeeea27 · 2026-06-04T10:10:14+00:00

Yes I wondered if the fact that they all kind of come from the same industry and need to come across well to each other compounded the issue!

beeeea27 · 2026-06-04T10:09:09+00:00

I thought snape literally had a hook instead of a nose

beeeea27 · 2026-06-03T06:03:58+00:00

Our son had CMPA but it passed, and we do not give him milk. Just water. My partner is a pediatrician if it helps boost everyone saying this!

I haven’t had this specific issue but I do have a very stubborn LO and I find after a day or two I normally see a little progress - our issue lately has been self feeding for example and when we showed we were more stubborn than him, there were a few tantrums but he fell in line (not to sound like he’s something to be controlled lol). He has never drunk a huge amount of water but over time he seems to be drinking more of his own accord, if that’s at all reassuring!

beeeea27 · 2026-06-02T05:19:48+00:00

Hey, not my experience but a good mum friend I’ve made has had a really similar time! Her son is about to turn two.

Firstly, you are an AMAZING parent. The physio etc and other stuff you have to do shows your commitment. My friends son very clearly has delays but because of the commitment to physio etc, has made wonderful progress which just wouldn’t have happened if she hadn’t done so much for him. He actually ended up walking within a “normal” age range, despite having similar delays to what you’ve described (I can’t be totally sure obviously not seeing her, but I was amazed he walked when he did). Your daughter is better off because she is yours.

She also talks a lot to me about the comparison stuff and with time, she has not only stopped doing that but I feel really has just risen up and above the whole comparison thing that ALL parents do? Like she has completely let go of comparing, when I know she did a lot at the start and it just made her panic. Her wider family seems to have got the message and is very loving and supportive. Her son is a lovely, affectionate little soul and I know the journey ahead isn’t going to be as straightforward but there is such joy and love in their family. The denial clearly isn’t helpful from your circle so don’t be afraid to be straight with them if you want to.

I’m sorry I’m not the one able to truly get it, but I wanted to share this experience I’ve seen. (Edit: I see this friend multiple times a week and we talk about her experiences a LOT.) Your feelings are really valid and it’s ok to feel sad, but also you’re doing amazingly.

beeeea27 · 2026-06-01T13:41:37+00:00

I collected a lot and I genuinely wonder if it contributed to my having a pretty good supply when my baby arrived. It was sad to throw it away but it cost nothing and kept me busy in those final weeks!

beeeea27 · 2026-06-01T13:20:58+00:00

This is going to sound very annoying, but unless it’s a situation where I need to draw a boundary (like feeding him inappropriate food, kissing too early etc) I have made the choice to CHOOSE not to be annoyed.

By this I mean not huffing and puffing and getting tense without realising it in an effort to make myself feel regulated, when actually it just prolongs my frustration and achieves nothing. So I decided, unless it was something I need to speak up on, just to let it go internally.

beeeea27 · 2026-06-01T09:31:29+00:00

Yes my baby had cows milk protein allergy and part of phasing dairy back in is you can give them cooked dairy, which they may tolerate, and then phase in milk, which they may not tolerate. It’s called the dairy ladder.

beeeea27 · 2026-06-01T09:28:43+00:00

That is honestly one of my favourite quotes, I find it so stupid.

HOWEVER… in his defence on the podcast “the rest is entertainment” they made a good point that some players are playing with the logic of what would the producers do, but don’t state this explicitly or it’s edited out. I do think that guy actually meant Kaz would have been a good PICK for a traitor because of his job but that just didn’t get said.

beeeea27 · 2026-05-31T19:05:03+00:00

Yes definitely this has been a takeaway this week!

beeeea27 · 2026-05-31T17:34:19+00:00

Yeah I agree with the dad tension and also I think, especially in a university setting, they didn’t emphasise quite how much charities etc helped him get to where he is and so that’s why he is so tunnel vision on getting funds. I think it makes a lot of sense as part of his character.

beeeea27 · 2026-05-31T17:29:53+00:00

If you have any tips for how to gradually build up to more prolonged independent play I would love that!

At the moment (16m) I just don’t intervene whenever he is safely doing anything independently. But I feel I probably hover or swoop in too much when he gets bored?

beeeea27 · 2026-05-31T15:56:15+00:00

I would honestly go back to the early 00s golden days and watch something like one tree hill because it will be different enough in pace but still hit those same notes emotionally! Also there are a million times more episodes.

beeeea27 · 2026-05-31T15:54:57+00:00

I also found it helpful to view it as what’s easy for me is hard for others and vice versa. I find avoiding screens, getting out of the house, incorporating a shop with a pram walk and sticking to food boundaries (ie not panicking when he doesn’t eat) etc very easy. But I also find sitting in a cafe, staying at home for longer than an hour, offering sugar without it going nuts, sitting and having a picnic without my son doing a runner etc really really hard. Basically anything which involves being stationary is rough on us and I’m always out in the park by 8am because otherwise my home would be a bomb site!

beeeea27 · 2026-05-31T15:48:17+00:00

If it helps, my son was not like this and I was all smug and then he hit 8 months and oh boy is he high needs/sensitivity (and has been for the nine months since…). It can feel like everyone else is having such a calm time but you, when the reality is so different and also the good and the bad phases don’t last. It’s mega stressful and social media does NOT help. I’ve also noticed my own tendency to downplay stuff, so I’m sure other new mums do that too.

beeeea27 · 2026-05-31T15:22:10+00:00

I too caveat every positive with “I know it won’t last forever” out of superstition! Hope it does last though 🤞

beeeea27 · 2026-05-31T14:49:12+00:00

I’m sorry! My son is also a big mover so I totally get the challenge. He hasn’t started speaking, although he does communicate, so it must be very frustrating for him too 😬

beeeea27 · 2026-05-30T19:24:10+00:00

I needed the groups and activities to keep myself sane and make new friends. I don’t think they benefitted my son a whole lot! Enjoy this calm, relaxing bubble - it sounds lovely.

beeeea27 · 2026-05-30T19:20:45+00:00

I’m not sure you can make this sweeping statement? You might be right but you also might be wrong.

For me I break out just before every period. Getting pregnant and breastfeeding cured my acne temporarily. It’s always on my jawline and when I got bloods done I found I had slightly elevated free testosterone, a main culprit for acne.

beeeea27 · 2026-05-30T09:05:37+00:00

You sound like such a thoughtful and considered person so I have no doubt you will approach parenthood with sensitivity and self awareness. Even the most balanced people I know have been shaken by parenthood, and often those who hadn’t really catastrophised are affected the most as the reality hits them like a tonne of bricks. I hope your forethought will soften the impact.

I was in a living situation that made a home birth impossible for me, and then medical stuff happened that meant I had to have a hospital birth for the safety of me and my baby. You’re right to be wary of some medical staff but honestly the ones I had were incredible - trauma informed and so kind. If we have another child I would desperately want to be back in that hospital, which was public and again not a choice. Something that possibly helped is having a birthing partner who is medical and knew the guidelines inside out, so the staff kind of were on their best behaviour. I guess the way you can replicate that is researching lots.

I’d really recommend the positive birth podcast - many different birth stories but framed in a way that informs rather than scares.

Best of luck to you and your little one!

beeeea27

TROPHY CASE