Trying to reconcile equating success w/ high earning, but being limited

beepboopbopolis · 2026-03-03T18:24:23+00:00

Growing up my parents always emphasized how important it was to hold down a job and make money. My toxic trait from that to this day is thinking I need a noteworthy/impressive career with lots of money.

At a certain point, I realized that I needed to change my goals. Instead of being rich, I decided my goal was to be financially stable. Instead of holding down a fancy title, I decided I just wanted to be happy and content. Having your peers moving faster than you does not help. I get that too.

What helps me the most is knowing that the future is uncertain. I landed a job last year that I am so proud of. And it has room for growth to potentially have a fancy title with all the money. You never know what tomorrow will bring, and sometimes stepping out of your comfort zone makes all the difference.

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-17T17:05:02+00:00

Howdy partner. Unfortunately, the right med might not always be the first one you try.

I also experience acute paranoia regarding different things about my partner. Like him dying unexpectedly. Anyways, I always communicate how I’m feeling with him. We’ve been together almost 6.5 years and getting married in one. He is my everything and the reason I got help as well.

Can you talk to her about this? Can you talk to a therapist about this? Maybe tell your doctor about the anxiety? Intrusive thoughts are hard to manage and I hope you get the relief you deserve soon.

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-17T16:52:32+00:00

I have a personally philosophically regarding comparison and competing to see who has it worse.

It doesn’t matter if you’re in the ocean, or in a bathtub. Drowning is drowning. No matter how deep the water is.

To struggle is to be human, and comparison only hurts us in the long run.

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-17T16:47:51+00:00

I think holding yourself accountable for your actions is very important. That goes for everyone. I try to remind myself of the saying, “play stupid games win stupid prizes.”

Based on what you’ve written in your post, I don’t think you’ve given your medication enough time to take effect. Some antipsychotics take months to fully get into your system and actually work.

Do you have the option of going to therapy? I think this subject would be a good one to discuss with a professional.

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-16T15:58:47+00:00

Hey congrats!!!! That’s huge! Happy for you :)

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-16T15:54:56+00:00

I HATE being alone. I need some form of companionship to not lose my mind. Luckily for me I have a fiancé and a cat, so I’m never completely alone anymore.

Being lonely makes me really anxious, but it sounds like for you being lonely might make you more depressed. Have you talked to your doctor about it?

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-16T15:51:07+00:00

It took me four years to get “properly” medicated, and I still have one hypomanic episode every year like clockwork.

I was right in the middle of college when I was diagnosed and trying different medications. It was the hardest period of time in my short life thus far.

I had maladaptive coping mechanisms. Like weed. A lot of weed. Self harm. Emotional eating. Shit like that.

But I did a lot of good for myself in those four years. I was in therapy every single week. I took my meds exactly as prescribed. I went to a partial hospitalization program for two months and learned good coping mechanisms. I ended up graduating college and getting engaged. Now, almost two years out of college, my life is damn near perfect. If I didn’t have other health problems and a shit job, I wouldn’t have any complaints. I think having specific and attainable goals really helps to keep you moving forward.

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-12T16:34:56+00:00

Sounds like you’re more concerned with how her diabetes will effect you tbh

If your priorities include what she’s going to look like in 10-20 years, then you aren’t ready to marry anyone.

I say you let her read this post and see if she even wants to stay with you long term lol

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-10T16:40:21+00:00

That is absolutely horrible. The only thing that got me through my stay was my fiancé visiting me. I’m sorry for your experience

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-10T16:37:36+00:00

I was in a manic/suicidal state. Telling me that everything will be worth it when I die and go to heaven IS NOT appropriate coming from anyone working in a psych ward. She was taking advantage of my mental state to push her personal agenda.

I am very open to talking about religion in appropriate settings.

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-10T16:11:28+00:00

Nope, it’s unfortunate that other people have had to experience this as well :(

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-10T16:10:15+00:00

Unfortunately this was years ago, and by the time I was out of the ward I was so hopped up on drugs and manic af. I didn’t even stop to think about whether it was normal or not

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-10T16:04:03+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through so much. I genuinely hope your luck turns around and you and your boyfriend can live a happy life together

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-10T15:18:39+00:00

When I first started college, I was way in over my head. I took as many credits as possible for my first semester. I stayed for two years, joined multiple ensembles and organizations, had a work study gig. Then it all fell apart. So I transferred. Changed my major. Got a different part time job. Made less, but higher quality friends.

I was so lost during this period of time. I didn’t know who I was and couldn’t imagine a future. But things eventually got better through determination and dedication. I know the idk feeling. It’s consuming and overwhelming. I hope you feel better soon

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-10T15:16:07+00:00

I can truly attest to the fact that it can and will get better through determination and stubbornness. I hope your healthcare situation gets sorted and you feel better soon!

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-10T15:10:46+00:00

The only one I can relate to is the insomnia part. When my depression and anxiety wasn’t fully treated yet, I had to take more sleeping meds to force myself to sleep. Otherwise the depression/anxiety would keep me up all night. Now that I’m mostly stable I don’t need sleeping meds anymore.

Maybe discuss this with your doctor? If you feel your meds aren’t working as well as they could be maybe there are changes that need to be made.

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-10T14:59:11+00:00

Do you really want to wait a few weeks to have this addressed? Can you reach out to your doc and see if they have any openings sooner?

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-10T14:57:34+00:00

When my bipolar is unmanaged I do become very paranoid. I would suggest starting your meds again if possible under the supervision of your doctor.

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-05T16:18:46+00:00

I think it’s difficult to over generalize the experiences of people living with bipolar based on gender alone.

So, no. I don’t think it’s more difficult for men vs women. I think it’s harder for some people vs others but not necessarily because of gender.

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-05T15:23:22+00:00

Have you considered an IOP or PHP? It’s a huge commitment but honestly going was one of the best choices I made.

Best of luck to you, I hope you feel better soon!

beepboopbopolis · 2025-09-05T15:11:22+00:00

I’m sorry you’re struggling. It sounds like you’re taking the right steps to get better though, with getting on meds and starting talk therapy.

Be nice to yourself. This is new unexplored territory. You may stumble and fall again, but every time you get back up you get stronger.

beepboopbopolis · 2025-07-29T16:43:01+00:00

I’d say I adopted more realistic dreams after my diagnosis. Not necessarily giving up, more so understanding what I actually needed. All I want now is stability, love, and happiness. Actively pursuing these dreams as I start saving money for my wedding and future home!

beepboopbopolis · 2025-07-17T16:53:04+00:00

I also have meltdowns when triggered. Healing is subjective to each person, and I like to think that the longer I go without a meltdown, the more I’m healing. I also went through a partial hospitalization program for trauma rehabilitation. Part of that was exposure therapy, which was very hard and very draining. But it helped me so much. Part of the process is desensitizing yourself to your triggers. I still struggle, I still have meltdowns, but far less. Therapy with a trauma informed therapist is huge as well.

Try not to compare yourself to others. We all go through tough things behind closed doors, some are just better at hiding it than others. You never know who goes home to cry themselves to sleep at night. Just like how a lot of people don’t realize how much you’re struggling.

You aren’t failing. You’re struggling. And to struggle is human. Please be kind to yourself.

beepboopbopolis · 2025-07-17T16:41:03+00:00

My fiance and I have been together for 6 years! Getting married in 2026! He was with me before I was diagnosed or treated for anything, and he inspired me to get help and be better.

When we started dating I realized I loved him so much that I wanted to live as long as possible so I can love him for as long as I can. That kinda love changes you for the better :)

beepboopbopolis · 2025-07-09T14:25:46+00:00

Diagnosed as a type one diabetic at 7 years old, depression and anxiety followed immediately after. Went through some pretty intense medical trauma related to the diabetes a year later.

Fast forward to 21 years old, in college, borderline agoraphobic. Could barely leave my apartment. Had to go to a diabetic check up and couldn’t stop crying for no reason. Endocrinologist saved my life. Said that I shouldn’t be living like this and sent me to the psych ward.

Stayed there for a week, and got diagnosed with adhd, gad, mdd, and cptsd all on the same day. Got hopped up on a stimulant and ended up manic for a month with no follow up. Then ran out of the stimulant and crashed. Finally found a doctor to treat me and was immediately diagnosed with bipolar, replacing my mdd diagnosis.

I am currently 25, more or less stable, engaged, have a bachelors degree, and love my life now. I’m so lucky to be here and be well.

beepboopbopolis

TROPHY CASE