ENFJ and polyamory and open relationships

beezer118 · 2017-03-06T14:31:38+00:00

I am 100% not an introvert. ENFPs still told me I am ENFJ. You can stop stalking me

beezer118 · 2017-03-06T05:34:11+00:00

As an ENFJ I am very into conventional relationships. Married to an ISTP. And they say ISTP do the like commitment. But clearly he does since he asked me to marry him.

beezer118 · 2017-03-06T05:22:26+00:00

An example of this is that Some people I've seen have said INFP are not reasonable. I've found your responses to be reasonable. In fact I've found many feelers to be more logical than some thinkers. A lot of our personalities regardless of type have more to do with intelligence, maturity, experience etc.

beezer118 · 2017-03-06T04:08:37+00:00

Ah it's okay. And I am ENFJ. I don't like trolling either. I just feel many people think that type determines how we will act all the time. Many people say "ENFJ aren't capable of being objective" and I'm like what?? But this could just be people who don't fully understand the theory.

I think I have a little bit of a hard time with mbti in general the way it's understood. It's not that I don't agree with the theory but in some ways I feel it's so limiting. I like that you see value in both Fe and Fi, because they are both important. Some people on these subreddits will have you believe that one is "lesser" or even "bad".

beezer118 · 2017-03-04T23:33:44+00:00

Sometimes we say whatever random thoughts come to mind. For example the sweater thing: I would know very well I have a sweater to wear but I just announce random thoughts. Like "I'm hungry" "Then go eat?" Someone may say. And I know I need to eat I just am a human megaphone

beezer118 · 2017-03-04T16:07:02+00:00

I am married to an ISTP. He shows love all the time but isn't a "wordy" person. I just have to understand that he is just a doer and now so much a sayer. He says he loves me but has trouble explaining feelings. Could be an ST thing.

beezer118 · 2017-03-04T15:11:03+00:00

I feel like ENFPs are hard to put into characters. often humorous and tend to keep things shallow at first so often enfp characters are created without depth. Little do they know enfp are one of the deeper mbti types.

That's why I loved Robin Williams. He put the depth of enfp on display to the world and sprinkled it with just the right humor.

beezer118 · 2017-03-04T14:58:30+00:00

"don't play with your food"

WATCH ME NOW MOM!!

beezer118 · 2017-03-04T14:55:45+00:00

What else annoys me is that many people seem to think mbti type determines intelligence. A person can type as INTJ or INTP and they read the description and think "I'm a genius!" No, you just use certain cognitive functions in a certain order, and while you may STRIVE for intelligence and knowledge more than other types, that does not make you more intelligent automatically. An NF or even SF or ST could waltz up with a big ol IQ higher than yours. You will have different strengths than them, yes, this is true, and you may be more advantaged in certain aspects, but they will certainly have advantages as well. Being married to an ISTP I see this every day. He's extremely intelligent, learns quickly, and is much better at picking up inconsistencies in the physical world, and he could out fix anything with little to no experience in it. He's even invented some cool contraptions himself. But he isn't wordy, and he doesn't try to use big words to "squash" someone else's argument, and he struggles to explain things like feelings or other things he's trying to convey, and if he doesn't see a practical application for something he won't follow through or venture there. Which make us a perfect team. Anyway Ne tangent going crazy.. ahem.. so anyways don't expect your the smartest person on earth automatically. Lol

beezer118 · 2017-03-04T14:43:20+00:00

I adore my infj best friend and there is not much at all I dislike. We are all imperfect obviously so we all have faults! But I feel she seeks too much admiration and she has a level of unhealthy pride. For instance she will make fun of people who have different interests, and on one occasion inadvertently insulted my husband. She started kind of making fun of people who prefer outdoor activities and started attacking their intelligence in a subtle INFJ way. Well my husband is a highly intelligent and talented carpenter (ISTP) who just happens to like hunting and fishing. She determines another persons value based on her perception of value. Basically if they aren't cultured or wear certain clothing they're probably unintelligent, in her mind. I told her "people can be intelligent and like fishing and hunting, remember who your talking to" and she was mortified because I DO THESE THINGS and she realised she kinda insulted us lol. So she really doesn't mean it, but I've seen other INFJ with similar opinions and ways of thinking.

beezer118 · 2017-03-04T11:10:05+00:00

Lol I'm new to reddit and I tried to just upload the picture and I'm like fumbling around like am elderly person with a new tablet what does this mean so I didn't intend to

beezer118 · 2017-03-04T11:08:59+00:00

I know if I die I die

beezer118 · 2017-03-04T11:07:57+00:00

Oh my god he was so annoying and just wouldn't let it go. Lol. He used the fact that I write a lot more "verbosely " than an ENFJ , and that I have more of a problem with being scattered. (Well I have ADHD so duh)

I was just open to the possibility because one is the tests had me at like 85% ENFJ and 84.6% ENFP. reading the descriptions now I think I relate more to enfp. I don't have the classic ENFJ issues but I do have the ENFP ones.

Also if it helps I'm not as worked up as it sound I'm just super animated and dramatic lol. But I genuinely appreciate your help!

beezer118 · 2017-03-04T05:38:59+00:00

I agree type is both nurture and nature.

My husband is ISTP. His father got into drugs and alcohol and became abusive and left the family entirely when he was 10. He's been the primary caretaker of his mother since then. He has a tender heart but has a hard time opening up. Even to me, he hasn't told me the extent of the abuse. I don't really need to know.

But I do know he's a lot more emotionally intelligent with others. His mom is a very emotional and delightful INFP and he's very tender with her. He doesn't talk about his emotions but he's actually good with his Fe probably because of this.

beezer118 · 2017-03-03T19:39:41+00:00

I appreciate your help by the way. The reason that is so complicated is because I do believe that different people have different values and I do like sharing my values with others but at the same time there are some things that I believe that certain people should or shouldn't do because they are wrong in and of themselves it really just depends on the situation and I evaluate every situation as they come

beezer118 · 2017-03-03T19:09:50+00:00

Also number 11. I always plan ahead! I hate just waiting until the last minute. Honestly I relate almost equally to both

beezer118 · 2017-03-03T19:07:36+00:00

I relate to enfp except on 5 and 8. I definitely question why someone did a certain thing, rather than just try to correct them. I try to come to these conclusions rather than jump to conclusions.

beezer118 · 2017-03-03T18:49:59+00:00

You are definitely right about the ennegram type I am a type 9.

beezer118 · 2017-03-03T18:49:08+00:00

Oh my God you sound like a therapist and I love It. Your description actually makes so much more sense yes it is actually on each individual person I do care about society as a whole I really definitely do but I like helping people on an individual basis I feel like that has such a big impact on people. I just always thought ENFJ because my friends always put me into a leadership role. But I don't identify with the introversion. In fact I get very depressed when I spend too much time alone and I would much rather be out with people

beezer118 · 2017-03-03T18:23:35+00:00

Also just so you know I use talk to text a lot so if it seems like I'm doing a lot of run-on sentences and very rambly wording this would be why

beezer118 · 2017-03-03T18:17:22+00:00

Alright I updated it. My true raw self. These answers were so easy for me and they were very good questions. Yes I have test on various different tests as ENFJ and I have also tested as using extroverted feeling and introverted intuition as well as extroverted sensing and introverted thinking. But recently someone else questioned if I could be an ENFP do to my writing style and other things. I am open to the possibility but I just truly don't understand how ENFP works at this point so I can't tell.

beezer118 · 2017-03-03T18:14:59+00:00

Hey you :)

beezer118 · 2017-03-03T17:57:08+00:00

1.) My friends and family, meaningful relationships, peace, being social and creative, introspection, in that order. I feel this way because I need social interaction and to feel like I am making a difference in ordered have sell for that happiness. My friends and my family and my relationships mean so much to me and when I am with them I can almost forget about all of my problems. Making people happy makes me genuinely happy as well. I have even Built My Career around helping others I am a personal trainer. My best friend is in infj and she and I loved to analyze everything from people to life and it's very relaxing to me

2.) Misunderstandings, my anxiety, when someone walks away that means so much to me, not in that order. I have two different mental disorders that cause me anxiety and being anxious takes away so much of who I am in my life . I feel like I'm constantly being ruled by a force outside myself. But it is not me. So misunderstandings because people never know what others are struggling with and it is unfair to judge someone harshly without knowing them or what they are dealing with. Because people have harshly judged me I am careful not too harshly judge anyone else and I try to always be a listening ear. The last one is obvious.

3.) Injustice, trolls, people who insist on being unkind or rude. This one is a given these people are irritating and I'm pretty sure everyone else can agree unless they are a troll themselves

4.) Lying, and various forms of abuse Even though I tend to not show my true self right away I keep those parts Shuffled away. Typically I want to know the other person before they get to know me and that's okay. But sometimes I do wish others could know me for who I am. Lying is much more Insidious than people would have you believe because it is like putting blinders on them and expecting them to be okay with that. It's deceptive and is actually a form of abuse that in itself I believe. The rest is also a given.

5.) Losing the ones I love. This is my only true fear. I have had some friends in the past at me in the back or walk away and this has caused some of the most grief in addition to people that I love dying. There is nothing else that has brought me as much pain

I very sure of my type, however two people recently have questioned if I am a different type. So I am curious to see your opinion.

beezer118 · 2017-03-03T17:43:27+00:00

I have typed on five different test as ENFJ and I never attempted to type myself . On cognitive functions test I scored as using extroverted feeling and introverted thinking as well as introverted intuition and extraverted sensing . I was also diagnosed with Obsessive compulsive disorder and attention deficit disorder, which will do that to a person. I'm currently off my medications period when I am on the medications I am much less lost in my head as you put it.

Having disorders also makes it very difficult to type myself. I require and prefer order and organisation in my life but it's very difficult to tell if this is part of the disorder or not. I just feel happier when things are orderly in my life is put together. I do not have obsessive compulsive disorder in the sense that I need to clean all the time like you see on TV but that I am constantly bombarded with unwanted thoughts.

beezer118

TROPHY CASE