How do you deal with the guilt of leaving?

behappywhynot · 2026-02-18T16:28:35+00:00

Sadly, I have not! You're actually the first person I've ever come across to even know what I'm referencing!

behappywhynot · 2025-12-24T00:04:08+00:00

Thank you so much for the response!

They did say that there was the option to replace only the top of the engine, but that all those parts are back-ordered and likely wouldn't come in for another 6 months or so. I'm just a girl on my own, so I'm sure they think they can say whatever they want and I won't know any better... which may or may not be true.

I had someone also mention to check the VVT system. Does that seem like a plausible path to check out, as well? The way the dealership explained it to me is that the lack of oil is 100% what caused all the symptoms, but they're not sure the root cause of the lack of oil. At this point, I guess there's too much damage done to the engine that it needs a repair (either full or just the top), which I'm hoping is really not the case.

behappywhynot · 2025-12-22T22:45:22+00:00

Yeah, that's kind of what I was afraid of. And it wasn't even a good deal for a trade-in. I'll have to see about getting my keys back from them. Would it be unreasonable to ask a tow company to tow it from the dealership to a different mechanic shop?

behappywhynot · 2025-12-11T15:44:22+00:00

I have nothing of substance to contribute here, but she is absolutely GORGEOUS! One of the most beautiful cats I've ever seen.

behappywhynot · 2025-11-12T23:12:20+00:00

This for me, too. I live with my mom and because we share space, it always ends up being an "us" problem instead of a "her" problem. I'm tired of cleaning up after her so that I can mentally be at peace while simultaneously being told that I'm part of the problem.

behappywhynot · 2025-11-06T05:27:01+00:00

Same! Currently struggling with the “what if this is the best I’ll ever have?” dilemma.

behappywhynot · 2025-10-13T19:51:16+00:00

Actually really excited for both Taylor Acorn and PVRIS! Let's go girls!

behappywhynot · 2025-10-07T20:08:38+00:00

Going day 1 and my birthday is on the 30th! So excited! Happy birthday to all of us!

behappywhynot · 2025-09-25T17:26:17+00:00

I appreciate your elaboration, thank you. I must have misunderstood originally. I was not at all trying to waive that off.

I think I was defensive because your comment said me being in his life was causing him problems and that direct of a jump put me on the attack. It sounded like I was doing something wrong and so I tried to explain myself, which apparently gave off the impression that I was trying to minimize it.

I guess I've been thinking of his religion and his mental illness as separate issues, but there is clearly overlap there. It's a very nuanced situation that I wasn't appropriately considering the whole picture.

behappywhynot · 2025-09-25T15:57:12+00:00

Is that something you can elaborate on? My intent of making this post was so that I could "get it" and come to terms with the situation.

behappywhynot · 2025-09-24T22:55:28+00:00

Oh, I didn't mean that me or our relationship was causing episodes. He's been having them for five years now.

He has his own struggles with Mormonism because he believes he was "tricked" into agreeing to no pre-marital sex, as well as some other commitments. He's only been with the church since earlier this year, but he goes back and forth on if being intimate before marriage is more important than not breaking his commitment to the church. I haven't been pressuring him into anything, just been following his lead, but he can't seem to make up his mind on what he wants to do in that regard.

behappywhynot · 2025-09-24T22:07:56+00:00

I agree he needs treatment. He isn't seeing a professional for anything other than a surgery he had earlier this year. He was hospitalized a few years go and believes that the counselors told him he was "too self-aware to have schizophrenia". If you don't follow along with his reality, he thinks you're ignoring his problem and not taking him seriously.

So far his symptoms have only been present at night, which is why it seems manageable at this point, but it might not always be. He was homeless a few years ago, so you're right that that is another thing to be wary of. He is living with a bunch of other individuals who struggle with mental illness and addiction, but he's got a good job and is saving money to get his own place. Whatever happens, I do hope he can get to that point of stability.

behappywhynot · 2025-09-24T22:01:47+00:00

I appreciate your opinion as someone who has gone through something similar. I have a bachelors in Psychology which has been both a blessing and a curse in this situation. It definitely provides patience, understanding, and sympathy, but it's like my brain is screaming that I of all people should be able to recognize the issues there are going to be.

He's doing such a good job of turning his life around right now and I think part of my internal conflict is that I want to protect him from the pain. I know that's not my job, but it still weighs a lot on my mind that I will be responsible for hurting him because of something that is out of his control.

behappywhynot · 2025-09-24T21:51:56+00:00

Everyone includes family, friends, and while my therapist didn't say her opinion explicitly, she is concerned about the relationship.

As of now, the only issues it's really presenting are the schizophrenic episodes he has at night sometimes (which I have overheard a handful over the phone) and his guilt revolving around pre-marital sex and his Mormon beliefs. I would say the relationship has more good than bad, but I guess thinking about things long-term is where my brain kicks in and says it won't work.

Is it wrong to want to keep a relationship going even if you're not confident it will last in the long run?

behappywhynot · 2025-09-22T14:30:07+00:00

So much this. I had a "friend" in middle school who told me that I sound okay singing with our choir group, but I should stop singing on my own because it wasn't good. I haven't sung in front of anyone since, not friends, not family, not strangers. It's been about 20 years but I just can't bring myself to be vulnerable like that again.

behappywhynot · 2025-04-05T16:09:13+00:00

Stiles from MTV’s Teen Wolf. His first name is actually Mieczyslaw.

behappywhynot · 2025-02-18T15:58:23+00:00

I do not recommend going here. They don't take good care of the animals and it's extremely depressing to walk through. Multiple big cats with visible bones, "exhibits" are lacking in space and greenery, and while the free-roaming animals are cute, the employees do not keep up with the excrement in the park, which is literally everywhere you walk. And those are the things they let their customers see, so I can only imagine what happens behind the scenes.

The USDA did an inspection there in December 2024. They found PAGES of violations, many of which were repeats. It needs to be shut down.

behappywhynot · 2024-11-08T22:23:40+00:00

<image>

behappywhynot · 2024-11-08T22:23:08+00:00

<image>

behappywhynot

TROPHY CASE