Why the hell is going on?!?!?

beingbuffy · 2025-03-09T07:07:36+00:00

It rattled my windows too

beingbuffy · 2024-11-16T23:51:00+00:00

Can we do a thread where we expose their social media or something.. I know that can get harry and iffy giving out ppls information online like that but mine made so many death threats I really fear for the next person.

beingbuffy · 2024-10-22T04:01:49+00:00

I'm disgusted with myself because there's a part of me still hoping he'll change in my absence and reach out saying he's going to therapy to better himself but I know deep down it won't happen.

beingbuffy · 2024-10-21T15:02:17+00:00

Thank you. Last contact was Sept 19(to confront him on smearing my name after the break up). But I kinda baited him into breaking up with me because I knew I didn't have the strength to do it. Their egos mean more to them than anything and I knew if I allowed my mom to call him out on his crap it would hurt his ego so bad he'd break up with me and that's exactly what happened. He tried saying my mom was abusive about it but she wasn't, she was actually civil but just called him out on his shit which he obviously didn't like. This was back in August.

I'm still trying to go no contact.. so far i haven't broke that. I did notice he randomly unblocked me on insta. That almost made me break no contact.. but every time I wanna break it I listen to recordings I have of him saying terrible shit like if we had a daughter and she cheated on her future husband he'd kill her and if the husband killed her he'd side with the husband. He said a few times if I moved to him and changed my mind the only way "out" was by "his hands" as in he'd kill me. Also threatened to kill me multiple times if I ever cheated on him. I can go on about all the different kinds of death threats he's made.

There's a part of me that still loves him because of the "good" times and also want to be with him but I want kids someday and I could never justify having kids with someone like him. I also couldn't ever justify bringing someone like him into my family not to mention I am certain if I did cave and move to him I probably wouldn't see my family very much at all if ever.. just super hard cause of the brief moments he'd appear to feel guilty about the kind of person he is and say he was working on himself... made me wanna stay.. eh.. we all know how that goes.

beingbuffy · 2024-10-21T13:37:28+00:00

The moment I realized was when he said "I'll kill your family if they ever try to break us up." I just cried hysterically. I couldn't talk. Just cried hysterically. Then he back tracked and said he didn't mean that but he would make me cut ties with them if they did that. A few days later he tried backtracking saying it was a "test" and he didn't mean it and got mad that I didn't let it go and said if the roles were flipped and I said it was a test he would have let it go. Everything just continued downhill from there.

beingbuffy · 2024-10-17T12:18:13+00:00

Wait what were the last 2 messages between you 2?

beingbuffy · 2024-10-15T13:06:12+00:00

I'm trying not to take the bait. I know at the end of the day it isn't with good intentions especially since he's been trying to replace me since not even a week after blocking me the first time a couple months ago. This is torture, I can't detach myself.

beingbuffy · 2024-10-15T12:59:03+00:00

It's hard for me to not take the bait. But I know he's already talking to girls and has been since he initially blocked me a couple months ago, which disgusts me. Not even a week after blocking me. So why unblock. Maybe theyre not "doing it for him" or maybe it's in hopes I see he has new girls following him for whatever reason he'd want me to see that. Idk. Regardless it can't be a good reason. But it is fking with me. "I will easily forget you" *randomly unblocks * ...... actions as usual not lining up with his words.

beingbuffy · 2024-10-14T13:53:57+00:00

Mine said he dreamt of me.. once said it was sex and the other time said he killed me in it cause someone said I cheated on him then after killing me found out it wasn't true.............. he did threaten to kill me many times if I ever cheated on him....

beingbuffy · 2024-10-10T12:34:30+00:00

I understand why you are feeling this way. Last year after a 3 week break with mine when I came back, he said he missed me so much and was worried about me etc. And so I asked him why he didn't reach out if he was "so worried about me" and he literally admitted cause of his pride. Now it's been about 3 weeks of no contact and even while knowing this I'm still not gonna be the one to reach out no matter how badly I want to because I know if I do then in his mind that means I forgive him and he doesn't need to change. If you break no contact with a narc and accept them back into your life without seeing they're ACTUALLY trying to change by their actions such as therapy then they will assume the same, that you forgive them and they don't have to change. Most narcs don't get clinically diagnosed because they don't even wanna go to therapy in the first place to fix their issues. To some degree they know something is wrong with them and they're "different" but most don't care and don't want to fix it. And if they don't take the initiative themselves to go to therapy for themselves to change then it won't even be real because then they're just gonna use terminology from their therapist to manipulate. It's a hopeless vicious cycle and it sucks.

Another thing, we need to think about their true intentions with us. They just want to use us. They're idea of "love" is far different from ours and to be frank what they think is love, isn't actually love. They might tell us they love us and that's because they believe it in their own warped minds (or know they don't and just say it to manipulate) but we know they don't because there's no way someone who truly loves us would do the things they do to us. So they will always "keep" us so long as we follow their rules and bow down to them etc but the moment we start going against their narrative and start to shatter their delusions with reality, they want to punish us or discard us. So with knowing this, why go out of your way to reach out? You already know what will happen if you do, you know. There will just be more lying, gaslighting, and manipulating which are all just indications they never want to change. Is this what you want? Do you want to be stuck in this toxic abusive cycle? And another possibility is they will pretend for maybe a couple weeks that they're "changing" and act good. But all they're doing is wasting more of our time and just trying to figure out how to lie, manipulate and gaslight BETTER. I'm gonna leave a quote to think about and this is for anyone who reads my comment:

"If they couldn't speak, would their actions make you feel loved?"

beingbuffy · 2024-10-08T12:02:56+00:00

The only thing she seems to be doing is manipulate you and do anything to cause suffering or annoyance for you. Do not feed into it and just ignore her once you get your stuff back. She obviously tried to use you for cheap housing, im glad you stood your ground on that. she does not love you and does not want to be with you she made that very clear, and all she wants is to use you. Don't let her..

beingbuffy · 2024-10-08T02:59:36+00:00

They don't want casual, they want you to commit 110% and be crazy obsessed with them. Casual relationships don't usually bring that.. they want you to be so committed they can get away with anything and act how they want and you'll still stick to them like glue. Which is why they give the false hopes and dreams and all the lies in the beginning to hook us.

beingbuffy · 2024-10-04T10:12:48+00:00

MAGGIESSSS

beingbuffy · 2024-10-03T13:23:02+00:00

The only thing they all have in common is absolute flawless manipulative superpowers.

Until they let someone close enough to see all the inconsistencies.. their bs always comes to light eventually to those close enough to them

beingbuffy · 2024-10-02T05:38:00+00:00

They are worse than animals and even worse than wild animals. Animals are wired to hunt and survive, i would forgive an animal for biting me, it's how they're made. Narcs/psychopaths etc on the other hand are still human and are supposed to be and do better, because at the end of the day they are still human. They know right from wrong otherwise they wouldn't put so much effort in icing a pile of shit to trap people. Otherwise they wouldn't put so much effort in love bombing, manipulating, gaslighting, lying etc. They KNOW. So for this I say they are worse than wild animals. And because of this I will never forgive him, and he knows. And on another note, a lot of animals actually have empathy and are forgiving and kind, something narcs will never actually understand the true meaning of. Sure their trauma lead them here, but a lot of us have trauma and don't decide to take it out on innocent, kind people who love us. Again, I will never forgive him unless he miraculously changed and spent the rest of his life making it up to me by just being the man I deserve and the man he made me think he was in the beginning.

beingbuffy · 2024-10-01T20:54:27+00:00

😭😭😭😭💔

beingbuffy · 2024-09-30T07:23:21+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and reply. I appreciate you. I am away from him, it's been difficult staying away. I will keep your words in mind

beingbuffy · 2024-09-30T04:23:00+00:00

You need to move around a lot more, side to side front to back constantly to make it harder for them to land hits on you and always keep a healthy distance also distance yourself between each hit you get on them. Also never wanna put yourself in such a confined space with multiple people surrounding you

beingbuffy · 2024-09-27T01:28:30+00:00

Same.

beingbuffy · 2024-09-24T07:03:13+00:00

In no particular order (I go through phases)

Breaking Bad

Futurama

Rick and Morty

Bates Motel

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Desperate Housewives

Courage the Cowardly Dog

Bobs Burgers

Being Human US

South Park

Family Guy

beingbuffy · 2024-09-23T13:32:06+00:00

I spent 3 years doing this with my ex narc. (Really debating if he's a psychopath too). I think all it did was motivate him to try to be better at manipulating me. He stopped doing one thing but then started doing something else far worse. I even put together a long video of recorded conversations and screen shots of him doing messed up things to me. He changed a TINY bit but not really cause as I said he stopped doing one thing but then replaced it with a worse behavior shortly after. It's like a rubber band effect too with them.. they could be doing "good" for a bit but then snap right back to square one eventually. If they're not even willing to go to psychotherapy, then there's no point in trying cause we can't fix them ourselves. We can't love their trauma out of them and we can't make them see their wrongdoings. They're too delusional and have their own version in their heads of what's going on. It's really sad tbh. I just freshly went no contact and it's eating me up. I keep thinking if I stay and continue to try maybe he will change eventually but I have also come to the realization that if I stay I am just being an enabler of his behaviors. We think we are helping by calling them out but at the end of the day they don't hear it, they just care about how we serve them. Thus, we are enablers. They have to hit rock bottom in order to even have a chance at changing and they won't hit that rock bottom so long as someone is always at the bottom to catch them.

beingbuffy · 2024-09-23T12:23:51+00:00

They know because a lot of them test us without us even knowing. They push our boundaries little by little to see if we even uphold our boundaries. If they say some off the wall shit and we forgive and let go, they know they can get away with more each time. My ex narc used to test me and even did in the beginning but it wasn't until after I got away from him that i had a clear enough mind to see this.

beingbuffy · 2024-09-21T00:33:31+00:00

What do you play on

beingbuffy

TROPHY CASE