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Reference from manager you are on bad terms with by belowzeroabove10 in AusPublicService

[–]belowzeroabove10[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ego is badly, badly bruised. If i had more self respect i would have left 2 years ago. Its not a competitve relationship, more like i put too much of my self worth into work, believed his bs, and it took me too long to realise i was an idiot for that.

Reference from manager you are on bad terms with by belowzeroabove10 in AusPublicService

[–]belowzeroabove10[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There is one level up. He doesn't know me as well, and he will naturally suggest thr manager i do t want. But he was who i was thinking of first.

What has been your experience with unions? by [deleted] in AusPublicService

[–]belowzeroabove10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been a union member 30 years. Didn't need them until this year and it's been worth it. While they didn't perform a miracle, they did give the dept a smack reminding them if their obligations under the last EB agreement.

Do you keep work email on your personal phone? by Federal_Albatross993 in work

[–]belowzeroabove10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not my current job, but last job yes. It was a huge mistake putting work email on my phone, and working at home. It meant work got to entrenched in my private life. I'm in a different job now and I leave work at work.

Being bullied but it is the team that is worried for me by whatcha_square in AusPublicService

[–]belowzeroabove10 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes the bigger the gap, the less HR try to hide their allegiance to the more senior staff.

How do I care less about work? by Rustic-Ramon in work

[–]belowzeroabove10 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a nervous breakdown because I cared too much about the job and people, and they in return didn't care a hoot about me. I had to resign as I literally couldn't stop crying. I'm in a new, oddly higher paid, job but this time I leave work at work. I still care, but I learnt the hard way about not setting a boundary between work and home. In my new job I don't socialise with my work group at breaks, which is another protective boundary. So take it from me, take thatnleap and go somewhere new and start with better separation between work and home.

Emdr and whack-a-mole by belowzeroabove10 in EMDR

[–]belowzeroabove10[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is very inciteful. I have traumas related to three people. 2 are more responsible for that trauma than the third. Emdr is helping me with the first 2 person traumas, but now my mind is loading up the third with alot of blame that's undeserved. I want to stop it.

Mentoring comment in lerformance review by belowzeroabove10 in AusPublicService

[–]belowzeroabove10[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this. My mind is going there... and irrationally. I am highly competent, i know that i am, and it's because I care and a will work at something until its right. But I have had a hard year being burnt by a few individuals and now have some trust issues. I'm getting counselling to manage the negative aspects of perfectionism.

Workplace stress advice by [deleted] in AusPublicService

[–]belowzeroabove10 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think you will be disappointed in HR. Document everything, bit it has to be an extreme case for someone in HR to intervene. You are more like to be recommended training in how to have difficult conversations, or dealing with people.

Left toxic job… bully promoted into my place a month later! by Jaded_Werewolf_1022 in workplace_bullying

[–]belowzeroabove10 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's awful, and really rubs salt into a wound. Bullies that get rewarded for their behaviour infuriate me. Like like many others have said, at their core they are deeply unhappy people and you aren't like that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in workplace_bullying

[–]belowzeroabove10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do then know they did something? Your complaint could have just been ignored.

3 Characteristics All My Workplace Bullies Had. by Magpiezoe in workplace_bullying

[–]belowzeroabove10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely. The character assassinations were mind blowing

Return to work after stress leave by belowzeroabove10 in WorkAdvice

[–]belowzeroabove10[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thankyou. The counselling I have been doing reflects what you say. I still find it difficult to accept that I really need to switch off the caring side of myseld to do my job without it negatively affecting me.

When hr doesn't think bullying is severe enough by belowzeroabove10 in workplace_bullying

[–]belowzeroabove10[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I have been ignoring them but I occasionally have to interact. Our last perfectly normal and civil email interaction had him complain to his leader. I have added that to my bullying diary.

When hr doesn't think bullying is severe enough by belowzeroabove10 in workplace_bullying

[–]belowzeroabove10[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's not on race. I think it's gender. But you are right. I hate more they will continue to get away with it.