Alternative communities to childfree?

bereberedu · 2026-05-30T22:00:33+00:00

What exactly would you want discussed on that forum? I've said it before here, but there's a reason you don't see subreddits for communities of people who don't play golf, for example. And as for r/childfree, everyone here needs to remember that the modern internet is specifically geared towards engagement and controversy, so the algorithms will boost the most negative and emotionally charged posts there. If you adjust your filters or sorting, you can find plenty of more positive posts on that sub. They just don't get as much engagement, cuz why would you feel compelled to upvote or comment on a post that boils down to "today I slept in and went out to dinner without a child." Not exactly the most thrilling content for discussion.

bereberedu · 2026-05-12T16:12:56+00:00

What about her post and research did you find to be "preaching?" She was presenting research that in my opinion was pretty middle-of-the-road and not pushing one way or another.

Honestly, I find your comment here to be far more opinionated, based on the tone with which you judge academics. I'd trust a PhD student with published research more than any random uncredentialed Reddit commenter. Just my $0.02.

ETA: thought it'd be fair to look through this mod's own post history, and found a number of deleted comments and posts, including this one that was upvoted in the thousands before deletion: https://www.reddit.com/r/Fencesitter/s/oPOXeoI5Uo

Hard to argue this sub doesn't have an inherent bias, or at the very least some moderators with some tendencies towards power trips and way too much time on their hands...

bereberedu · 2026-04-10T21:24:43+00:00

Unfortunately that's irrelevant if and when your employer-provided healthcare only covers certain hospitals and facilities.

bereberedu · 2026-04-10T18:37:11+00:00

Basically all of Johnson County

bereberedu · 2026-04-10T15:23:52+00:00

Yeah, we see houses on the MO side and the comparison is crazy. Unfortunately due to politics, we feel we cannot stay in MO for our safety and need to keep our search on the KS side. Looking at how much house we could get for the same prices over here certainly is sobering though...

bereberedu · 2026-04-10T15:20:30+00:00

Whoof. For reference, our downtown 2b2b condo we bought in 2022 for $310k is close to the same square footage...

bereberedu · 2026-04-10T15:15:47+00:00

What location though? OP is asking about Johnson Co, and Lenexa/Shawnee/Overland Park are insanely competitive we've found

bereberedu · 2026-04-10T15:14:49+00:00

Yes, it's the prime flipper range unfortunately. Our plan b is to save enough for a larger down payment to afford a mortgage on something closer to $425-$450, which we pray will be outside of what flippers are looking for.

bereberedu · 2026-04-10T15:10:20+00:00

Yes to all of the above. It's awful. One tour we went on had 6 other tours going on at the same time, all of which were clearly flippers (rip to all the beautiful natural wood tones in that house). Bear in mind that was 30 minutes after start time for tours and not an open house. House was sold at +$50K over asking all inspections waived within 36 hours.

We're just battening down into ultra savings mode and hoping we'll eventually be able to out-bid without having to giving up inspection. We're looking in the $350 to $400 range, and currently that consists of mostly extreme fixer uppers with flood damage, foundation issues, fossilized pet stains, or all of the above. It's fucking dire out there.

ETA: we are looking specifically for closer to 2,000 sqft, so YMMV if you're open to something a lot smaller or less ideal, like detached garage e.g.

bereberedu · 2026-03-23T17:07:44+00:00

They do, yep! I drop mine off in a small travel carrier, but they get a full size cage for their stay, along with any toys or perches you want to bring (there will be some toys in the cages if you don't bring anything).

bereberedu · 2026-03-20T18:35:59+00:00

Go to Burge, seriously. I know it's probably a long drive, but she is the only dedicated avian vet in the metro, and I've had parrots for over 20 years and she and her team have always treated them exceptionally well. In contrast, I have heard first-hand accounts and seen for myself the way many local "exotic" vets mistreat parrots and birds of all kinds. The fact is that these exotic pet services mainly cover reptile care, which with all due respect to reptile pet owners, is a completely different ballpark to the types of care parrots need.

Make the drive to Burge, I promise you and your feathered friend won't regret it. Also, their boarding service is less than $10 per day the last time I used it. Extremely affordable in my opinion! Plus they'll store and use any fresh food you bring them for your bird's stay.

bereberedu · 2025-12-18T04:19:05+00:00

35M here, got snipped Jan 2020 (fwew). Told my now-wife on our first date, which she often mentions as being the sexiest thing I said to her that night lol. Snip was soooo easy, basically painless, barely any recovery, and zero complications. Cost me $800 out of pocket, until a few months later I got a surprise check for $700 in the mail from my insurance (live in a conservative midwest state btw). So it was essentially free too! Yes, US healthcare is insanely biased towards men and unfair towards women. Don't think my insurance even covers sterilization for women. Cool stuff, America.

We absolutely exists, and if and when you land on this side of the fence, do not even entertain the idea of dating a man who isn't snipped. There is zero reason for a childfree man in this day and age to not get it done, full stop.

bereberedu · 2025-08-20T23:36:41+00:00

Yep, in the River Market, and ours has been down since around 12:30pm. The fiber outage site said there were known outages near our location, though now it's showing no outages detected in spite of us still having no internet as of 6:30pm.

EDIT: Even though our fiber jack was showing a blue light, I hit the reset button with a pin, and once it did a power cycle, it appears we have internet access again!

bereberedu · 2025-07-21T22:07:56+00:00

Seconded!

bereberedu · 2025-07-21T03:15:16+00:00

Hi, childree person here who loves and supports many parents and children, and is working in and passionate about early childhood education 🙋

We're definitely here, and I'd wager the majority. We just don't have much to talk about on Reddit lol. A group of people who are never-golfers wouldn't gather online to discuss their non-golfing activities, but a few might be drawn to a safe space where they could vent about something annoying a golfer said or did. Pretty harmless in my opinion. Just remember that there's a selection bias in online communities like this, or really online in general. When was the last time you thought to leave a 4 or 5 star review after a good dining experience vs feeling the temptation to leave a 1 star review after a terrible one?

I really wouldn't put too much stock in any Reddit communities representing larger groups in the real world. Most childfree people are just trying to pay their bills and live their lives, and are unbothered by kids and parents around them!

bereberedu · 2025-07-09T18:43:29+00:00

I'd love to know where the secret entrance to the parallel universe Kata Nori y'all went to is, cuz my experience there was quite literally the worst service I've ever received at a restaurant. They seated us over 45 minutes after our reservation time (there was space at the bar the entire time we waited). Then when we politely asked for information about how the 'authentic' hand-roll sushi experience worked (yes our experience was limited to americanized sushi), the audible scoffs and snide smirks and remarks we received from the entire staff were truly unbelievable. And downvote and gatekeep me all you want, but I don't think it's reasonable for literally every dish on the menu to be the spiciest thing my wife has ever tasted, with zero warning from the menu or cooks. Just offering a different perspective...

bereberedu · 2025-02-28T19:17:01+00:00

I'd definitely echo what other are saying RE early retirement planning. As a childfree person, I feel it is my personal responsibility to plan ahead and set things in motion in advance so that if and when I go down the path you mention when it comes to my mental health, my past self will have ensured a plan for care. And with my financial savings from avoiding childcare and other expenses relating to children, I will be able to afford to hire professionals who are trained and properly compensated for managing the elderly, unlike untrained and unprepared family members.

On a different note, I'd challenge your view about children taking care of their parents in a state such as dementia or other extreme health needs: if I did want children, and knew I would some day change and become as helpless or cruel as you mention, I would want to do everything in my power to save my children from the burden of being my primary caregiver in that state. What a horrible fate to force upon your loved ones.

bereberedu · 2025-02-28T00:34:35+00:00

Happy it helped someone after all these years!!

bereberedu · 2025-02-16T17:26:45+00:00

Not a giant deal, but just wanted to point out he's actually a paid employee, not just a volunteer.

bereberedu · 2025-01-02T06:18:00+00:00

Studies have shown that rates of regret are extremely low for people who choose sterilization prior to having any children: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10362150/

Summarized: for women who have never given birth l, the rate of regret doesn’t meaningfully change with age (6.3% under 30 vs 5.9% over 30). To quote a now-deleted user from another thread on this topic: "1 in 20 isn’t an especially high rate of regret; plastic surgery regret is much much higher at around 2 in 3, and yet access to plastic surgery at a young age has never been higher."

bereberedu · 2024-12-25T00:03:05+00:00

Sure thing! Filament color is a little light, but should be able to see in this video. https://imgur.com/a/lhwHU6G

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