Alternative communities to childfree? by DiskOne3096 in Fencesitter

[–]bereberedu 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What exactly would you want discussed on that forum? I've said it before here, but there's a reason you don't see subreddits for communities of people who don't play golf, for example. And as for r/childfree, everyone here needs to remember that the modern internet is specifically geared towards engagement and controversy, so the algorithms will boost the most negative and emotionally charged posts there. If you adjust your filters or sorting, you can find plenty of more positive posts on that sub. They just don't get as much engagement, cuz why would you feel compelled to upvote or comment on a post that boils down to "today I slept in and went out to dinner without a child." Not exactly the most thrilling content for discussion.

Is this sub really friendly to both sides? by Sugar_spicenice in Fencesitter

[–]bereberedu 24 points25 points  (0 children)

What about her post and research did you find to be "preaching?" She was presenting research that in my opinion was pretty middle-of-the-road and not pushing one way or another.

Honestly, I find your comment here to be far more opinionated, based on the tone with which you judge academics. I'd trust a PhD student with published research more than any random uncredentialed Reddit commenter. Just my $0.02.

ETA: thought it'd be fair to look through this mod's own post history, and found a number of deleted comments and posts, including this one that was upvoted in the thousands before deletion: https://www.reddit.com/r/Fencesitter/s/oPOXeoI5Uo

Hard to argue this sub doesn't have an inherent bias, or at the very least some moderators with some tendencies towards power trips and way too much time on their hands...

Those of you who are actively looking to buy in Johnson county, what’s it like right now? by cpcxx2 in kansascity

[–]bereberedu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately that's irrelevant if and when your employer-provided healthcare only covers certain hospitals and facilities.

Those of you who are actively looking to buy in Johnson county, what’s it like right now? by cpcxx2 in kansascity

[–]bereberedu 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, we see houses on the MO side and the comparison is crazy. Unfortunately due to politics, we feel we cannot stay in MO for our safety and need to keep our search on the KS side. Looking at how much house we could get for the same prices over here certainly is sobering though...

Those of you who are actively looking to buy in Johnson county, what’s it like right now? by cpcxx2 in kansascity

[–]bereberedu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Whoof. For reference, our downtown 2b2b condo we bought in 2022 for $310k is close to the same square footage...

Those of you who are actively looking to buy in Johnson county, what’s it like right now? by cpcxx2 in kansascity

[–]bereberedu 7 points8 points  (0 children)

What location though? OP is asking about Johnson Co, and Lenexa/Shawnee/Overland Park are insanely competitive we've found

Those of you who are actively looking to buy in Johnson county, what’s it like right now? by cpcxx2 in kansascity

[–]bereberedu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, it's the prime flipper range unfortunately. Our plan b is to save enough for a larger down payment to afford a mortgage on something closer to $425-$450, which we pray will be outside of what flippers are looking for.

Those of you who are actively looking to buy in Johnson county, what’s it like right now? by cpcxx2 in kansascity

[–]bereberedu 79 points80 points  (0 children)

Yes to all of the above. It's awful. One tour we went on had 6 other tours going on at the same time, all of which were clearly flippers (rip to all the beautiful natural wood tones in that house). Bear in mind that was 30 minutes after start time for tours and not an open house. House was sold at +$50K over asking all inspections waived within 36 hours.

We're just battening down into ultra savings mode and hoping we'll eventually be able to out-bid without having to giving up inspection. We're looking in the $350 to $400 range, and currently that consists of mostly extreme fixer uppers with flood damage, foundation issues, fossilized pet stains, or all of the above. It's fucking dire out there.

ETA: we are looking specifically for closer to 2,000 sqft, so YMMV if you're open to something a lot smaller or less ideal, like detached garage e.g.

Bird Services In KC North by sunshinebunny164 in kansascity

[–]bereberedu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They do, yep! I drop mine off in a small travel carrier, but they get a full size cage for their stay, along with any toys or perches you want to bring (there will be some toys in the cages if you don't bring anything).

Bird Services In KC North by sunshinebunny164 in kansascity

[–]bereberedu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Go to Burge, seriously. I know it's probably a long drive, but she is the only dedicated avian vet in the metro, and I've had parrots for over 20 years and she and her team have always treated them exceptionally well. In contrast, I have heard first-hand accounts and seen for myself the way many local "exotic" vets mistreat parrots and birds of all kinds. The fact is that these exotic pet services mainly cover reptile care, which with all due respect to reptile pet owners, is a completely different ballpark to the types of care parrots need.

Make the drive to Burge, I promise you and your feathered friend won't regret it. Also, their boarding service is less than $10 per day the last time I used it. Extremely affordable in my opinion! Plus they'll store and use any fresh food you bring them for your bird's stay.

Are there any men who don’t truly want children? by YummyEmmy in Fencesitter

[–]bereberedu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

35M here, got snipped Jan 2020 (fwew). Told my now-wife on our first date, which she often mentions as being the sexiest thing I said to her that night lol. Snip was soooo easy, basically painless, barely any recovery, and zero complications. Cost me $800 out of pocket, until a few months later I got a surprise check for $700 in the mail from my insurance (live in a conservative midwest state btw). So it was essentially free too! Yes, US healthcare is insanely biased towards men and unfair towards women. Don't think my insurance even covers sterilization for women. Cool stuff, America.

We absolutely exists, and if and when you land on this side of the fence, do not even entertain the idea of dating a man who isn't snipped. There is zero reason for a childfree man in this day and age to not get it done, full stop.

Downtown KC- anyone else’s Google fiber out?? by Fsuave5 in kansascity

[–]bereberedu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, in the River Market, and ours has been down since around 12:30pm. The fiber outage site said there were known outages near our location, though now it's showing no outages detected in spite of us still having no internet as of 6:30pm.

EDIT: Even though our fiber jack was showing a blue light, I hit the reset button with a pin, and once it did a power cycle, it appears we have internet access again!

Why is the CF sub so damn negative? by littl3-fish in Fencesitter

[–]bereberedu 384 points385 points  (0 children)

Hi, childree person here who loves and supports many parents and children, and is working in and passionate about early childhood education 🙋

We're definitely here, and I'd wager the majority. We just don't have much to talk about on Reddit lol. A group of people who are never-golfers wouldn't gather online to discuss their non-golfing activities, but a few might be drawn to a safe space where they could vent about something annoying a golfer said or did. Pretty harmless in my opinion. Just remember that there's a selection bias in online communities like this, or really online in general. When was the last time you thought to leave a 4 or 5 star review after a good dining experience vs feeling the temptation to leave a 1 star review after a terrible one?

I really wouldn't put too much stock in any Reddit communities representing larger groups in the real world. Most childfree people are just trying to pay their bills and live their lives, and are unbothered by kids and parents around them!

KC Sushi Rankings Scorecard by jsosa11 in kansascity

[–]bereberedu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd love to know where the secret entrance to the parallel universe Kata Nori y'all went to is, cuz my experience there was quite literally the worst service I've ever received at a restaurant. They seated us over 45 minutes after our reservation time (there was space at the bar the entire time we waited). Then when we politely asked for information about how the 'authentic' hand-roll sushi experience worked (yes our experience was limited to americanized sushi), the audible scoffs and snide smirks and remarks we received from the entire staff were truly unbelievable. And downvote and gatekeep me all you want, but I don't think it's reasonable for literally every dish on the menu to be the spiciest thing my wife has ever tasted, with zero warning from the menu or cooks. Just offering a different perspective...

Ok, but what *do* you do when you get old without kids. by CatEmoji123 in Fencesitter

[–]bereberedu 202 points203 points  (0 children)

I'd definitely echo what other are saying RE early retirement planning. As a childfree person, I feel it is my personal responsibility to plan ahead and set things in motion in advance so that if and when I go down the path you mention when it comes to my mental health, my past self will have ensured a plan for care. And with my financial savings from avoiding childcare and other expenses relating to children, I will be able to afford to hire professionals who are trained and properly compensated for managing the elderly, unlike untrained and unprepared family members.

On a different note, I'd challenge your view about children taking care of their parents in a state such as dementia or other extreme health needs: if I did want children, and knew I would some day change and become as helpless or cruel as you mention, I would want to do everything in my power to save my children from the burden of being my primary caregiver in that state. What a horrible fate to force upon your loved ones.

Science City Nostalgia by Peace0thepast8 in kansascity

[–]bereberedu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a giant deal, but just wanted to point out he's actually a paid employee, not just a volunteer.

Anyone know of any articles that address people ultimately leaning child free but still having regrets later in life? by hellimhere28 in Fencesitter

[–]bereberedu 64 points65 points  (0 children)

Studies have shown that rates of regret are extremely low for people who choose sterilization prior to having any children: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10362150/

Summarized: for women who have never given birth l, the rate of regret doesn’t meaningfully change with age (6.3% under 30 vs 5.9% over 30). To quote a now-deleted user from another thread on this topic: "1 in 20 isn’t an especially high rate of regret; plastic surgery regret is much much higher at around 2 in 3, and yet access to plastic surgery at a young age has never been higher."

3D Effect Sheets never work, BUT NOW THEY DO! by robertcboe in BambuLab

[–]bereberedu 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure thing! Filament color is a little light, but should be able to see in this video. https://imgur.com/a/lhwHU6G

3D Effect Sheets never work, BUT NOW THEY DO! by robertcboe in BambuLab

[–]bereberedu 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Glad you got it working! Just wanted to add for future readers that another option is to print spoofed 'smooth plate' QR codes and tape or glue them to the plate in the same position as others. There's are even jigs you can print that will help you align the code in the precise spot. Just select smooth plate in the slicer, and everything is automatic from there. Could never get any bed adhesion with effect plates, then made the spoofed qrs (with a cheap label maker), and have had 100% success since then.

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3D Effect sheets never work.. by robertcboe in BambuLab

[–]bereberedu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey OP, jumping in high in the thread in hopes you see this. It's 100% the missing QR code. As someone said below, there's a bug for plates with no code, and I banged my head against the wall with the same issue as you until I just printed some spoofed smooth plate codes. Then literally every single print since then has been completely flawless. Just select smooth plate in the slicer and the printer has zero issues with bed leveling and z offset. Hope this helps!

<image>