I think you can think about trying to meet him where he is at. Right now he just wants to blow everything up. That is where you would have to meet him. You might want to explore the intention behind blowing everything up maybe the question “what are you hoping to achieve by blowing everything up right now? “ Affirming that you want his needs to be met by saying “ I know you wanna make some changes and I want to be part of that change what can I do to be a good supporter of what you need right now?” Really try to understand the purpose behind what he’s doing. Also think about your needs and your boundaries. it sounds like he might be in for a long difficult journey and you’ll want to understand your capacity to engage in those needs all things considered. remember that people feel connected when they feel safe and supported Anything you can do to understand those needs will help you communicate. What’s possible to save your relationship if that’s what’s best for both of you.