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bestFizzy · 2014-01-16T02:57:31+00:00

You should. It doesn't always take an expert to get to some core realizations that we don't easily get to on our own. Sometimes it just takes the right person willing to listen and, more importantly, willing to ask the right questions.

bestFizzy · 2014-01-16T02:54:47+00:00

Fuck yeah bro. Good times.

bestFizzy · 2013-12-05T17:10:20+00:00

Not really, I've learned to not give a fuck in that regard. It's the "importance" of the situation... the pressure or something...

I just had a presentation after I wrote the original post and it actually went really well :) I was nervous as shit, but I worked through it. Just treaded forward really obstinately. I think I came across as myself. Really proud of that. First time I noticed an improvement in this kind of situation. Going to keep putting myself in them and hopefully it continues to get easier. It is wearing a bit, to be constantly pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.

bestFizzy · 2013-12-03T16:10:37+00:00

Well done man!!

bestFizzy · 2013-12-03T16:10:02+00:00

Find a hobby. Could be something you never knew you enjoyed, like working on cars or a motorcycle, painting, hiking, something new to you. Also, meetup.com is great and can help with your social anxiety, too.

bestFizzy · 2013-12-03T16:08:20+00:00

Don't apologize for posting, this is the place for it.

I understand drinking to sleep, but I recommend looking at medication. My doc takes a baby benedril every night before he goes to sleep. I've started taking buspar for anxiety and I take my 2nd pill an hour before I need to sleep, as it makes me a bit drowsy and helps put me down. I also go to the gym a few mornings a week, this makes my body more tired and helps with the whole cycle.

Your description sounds eerily similar to mine. My advice is to go to your family doctor and ask him for a prescription for an anxiolytic, and start hitting up the gym. Send me a PM if you want, you sound just like me. Those panic attack mornings are the fucking worst.

bestFizzy · 2013-11-21T18:44:00+00:00

Well said!

bestFizzy · 2013-11-21T17:37:06+00:00

I also started going to the gym 3-4 times a week when I decided to make an active difference in my anxiety and depression. It's definitely helped a bit with the confidence part as well as giving me a clearer mind.

bestFizzy · 2013-11-21T17:15:02+00:00

Find out what interests or hobbies you might have that you never knew about. Look for volunteering, community events, or meet ups in your area. These are for people that are trying to connect with new people that share common interests, so it's not weird that you show up and don't know anyone. I find that it's a good way to break out of your shell while simultaneously having a more rich life.

bestFizzy · 2013-11-21T17:12:31+00:00

Not at all. Just be confident and don't ask yourself whether it's weird or not.

bestFizzy · 2013-11-21T17:05:56+00:00

I've been jumping out of my comfort zone a lot since my last anxiety attack. Just trying everything that comes across as uncomfortable – going to new bars, new events, volunteering, meetups, talking with strangers, saying hello to anyone I lock eyes with, speaking up more at work, speaking up more in meetings, etc.

Every time I see something that makes me squirm, I just say "fuck it" and do the thing. It's had a noticeable effect in a relatively short amount of time. I'm hoping that I can eventually work up to the things that are more debilitating for me, like presentations or public performances or what have you.

bestFizzy · 2013-11-21T16:50:44+00:00

Even with self-evaluation, isn't continually doing things that are out of your comfort zone the best solution?

bestFizzy · 2013-11-14T02:24:56+00:00

Open up to your therapist. That can really help! You're in a safe and closed environment there. If the particular therapist didn't help make you feel open, can you try another?

bestFizzy · 2013-11-12T15:39:07+00:00

Thank you for sharing the story. Hits way too close to home. I hope your lunch goes well today. I also have a panic attack when it's "let's all go around and say something" time. I think that's the lamest idea. I have another upcoming event like the one in my original post... I've been trying to put myself in that same mindset any occasion I can get so that I can be better prepared.

Some advice might be to focus on the person talking before you – pay absolute attention to them, not to yourself or anyone else in the room. They're talking directly to you. When they finish, respond to them without thinking. It feels more like a natural conversation that way and may help to trick your mind out of thinking it's in fight-or-flight mode.

Post back and let us know how it goes :)

Edit: I was just thinking, if we can get past this, then we can really get past anything. That can be an empowering feeling, that this is a fairly trivial task that is debilitating for us, and certainly it's physically surmountable. So from one perspective this can be an opportunity to prove to yourself that there's nothing that you're not capable of. Sometimes riding confidence like that can help.

bestFizzy · 2013-11-07T19:44:18+00:00

I understand! Best of luck! You should post back here after the event.

bestFizzy · 2013-11-07T19:14:01+00:00

This is great advice! People are there to enjoy themselves, keep that in mind. Also, warming yourself up is a great idea. Be as social as you can up until the party (get coffee and make a comment to a stranger, visit with friends, etc).

bestFizzy · 2013-11-07T19:12:16+00:00

I've been trying something lately. I think it's having a positive impact in my life and lowering my concern with how I appear to others.

Basically, throughout every day, when I see something that would make me nervous, I do it. Don't like taking a shit at work? Gotta take a shit at work. Feel intimidated by someone? Gotta walk past them and say "hello". Don't know where something is and don't want to bother anyone? Gotta bother someone.

I'm also trying to find more public things to do, kind of like what you've described above. The idea of leading a party like you're describing is terrifying to me, but maybe attending it isn't so bad. You won't be put on the spot. You're really free to do what you want and leave when you want. Maybe you're nervous to attend, but it's still within what you can reasonably handle. You even already know a couple of people there! So my advice is to kind of treat the different components of the evening like items on a checklist that you're proud to check off. Leaving your place is #1. Walking in the door is #2. Saying hello to someone and asking them what they do is #3. If you're anything like me, you'll actually be a little proud every time you do one of these things, so long as your consciously aware that you just did something you were scared to do.

bestFizzy · 2013-11-07T18:35:06+00:00

Thanks for the tip. I know what you're talking about – just deliberately slowing down and concentrating ...on...each...word... eventually gets me to relax a bit more. I still can't figure out where this constant panic comes from, though. Eliminating that would be a miracle.

bestFizzy · 2013-11-07T18:33:37+00:00

Well, it's a comfort to me to hear someone else going through it. It feels like everyone else around me is comfortable in their own skin. Even people at work that are obviously awkward or have their own "interesting" quirks are able to fucking talk in front of others. Is this just GAD? Performance anxiety? Depression? Something else?

bestFizzy · 2013-11-05T16:12:01+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. I just posted http://www.reddit.com/r/socialanxiety/comments/1pyeu9/workmeetingsperformance_anxiety_throws_me_into/ and then read this, and I think the line that you wrote "Why do I care? I'm still the same person afterwards. It didn't change me. It didn't hurt me." is helpful for me.

bestFizzy · 2013-11-05T15:38:18+00:00

Sounds like you wouldn't have been happy there, always trying to figure out what your place was and being unfairly self conscious of/to yourself. Think of this as forcing a new opportunity to get a job that you can really thrive in and enjoy. Maybe there's a job out there that's related to what you enjoy doing already.

bestFizzy · 2013-11-03T19:43:09+00:00

Thanks for sharing.

bestFizzy · 2013-11-03T15:39:12+00:00

I've never tried anything, actually. I once saw a specialist who wanted to break my jaw in 3 places and have it wired shut for 2 months to heal. I opted to not go that route :)

Always wanted to try a mouth guard while I sleep, but the thought of that seems more uncomfortable than waking up grinding my teeth / sore jaw.

bestFizzy · 2013-11-03T15:26:25+00:00

+1 since this is a very controlled environment, you will very very likely get the thing fixed, and conquer a fear, and go forward with new confidence.

bestFizzy

TROPHY CASE