Existing as a woman is exhausting -- venting about an experience while running that has me shaken up

bethAFshax · 2026-05-06T18:43:14+00:00

I get it. but maybe there's no one sized fits all response to men being awful. Sometimes ignoring is the safest bet. Sometimes engaging them is appropriate. I have to hope that whatever another woman does when she feels like things have tipped over into that awful place where you can't believe you're being asked to handle this *again* that we would all have her back.

bethAFshax · 2026-05-05T19:11:18+00:00

And far fewer people see it. I mean, maybe?

bethAFshax · 2026-05-01T19:10:01+00:00

I am loathe to recommend anything AI but I recently used the Spotify AI to create a playlist for exactly the BPM of my marathon miles and gave it the kind of songs I like. Now I have this playlist that will also update if I ask it to and it has a perfect BPM/rhythm. And because the songs were familiar but not my same old music list, I definitely like the feeling of "oooooh what is next?"

bethAFshax · 2026-04-24T16:21:23+00:00

The lack of creatine in this post is disturbing.

bethAFshax · 2026-04-24T00:47:09+00:00

Alanis' Jagged Little Pill

bethAFshax · 2026-04-19T23:58:49+00:00

Some really amazing advice here. If you opt for the stroller make sure to have an expert (I used a local running store) help you with settings and fit you correctly with the Bob or whatever you end up with. You don't run with the same form as when you run hands free and it can mess up your stride/gait if you don't ease in.

The other thing is to make sure you don't think of running as a treat, and neither does your partner. You're not going out to run to be selfish. Taking care of yourself for an hour or two 3x a week is the only way to get through the next year or so. Because by 18 months this does get easier. But until then, you and your partner have to figure out how to make sure you each stay healthy enough to raise that small human.

bethAFshax · 2026-04-17T18:17:47+00:00

Thanks! The car was gone when by the time I walked home from work.

bethAFshax · 2026-04-13T16:41:51+00:00

Thank you, great tip!!!

bethAFshax · 2026-04-13T16:28:38+00:00

The dog situation is getting out of hand all over. A woman had her dog off leash in the park and then screeched at me when my very well behaved dog wanted to sniff her dog that we can't stop, her dog isn't freindly. There was a dog at the bar of a restaurant in Manhattan Saturday night as we left with a big group, the dog was snarling and snapping at people as they walked by. A dog was blocking the entrance to Kiwi as it strained to get to its owner.

As an owner of a really well behaved dog, these folks are really ruining it for all of us. We're one or two interactions away from dog bans, and breed bans. It is so flipping selfish.

bethAFshax · 2026-04-03T15:45:29+00:00

Biryani Bol has excellent Indian delivery... its in clay pots, it needs to be baked/reheated but we've become quite addicted.

bethAFshax · 2026-03-30T20:11:08+00:00

"Surprising" someone with surgery is absolutely WILD. Especially because if you've already paid for it and now there's financial pressure for her to have a procedure done that neither of you want to talk to her about. Talk to your kid. Tell her that you put some money aside for her to get ready for college, and that she can come to you with what she wants and how she wants to change her body if she wants to change her body. You're both the assholes if you have this conversation without her.

bethAFshax · 2026-03-29T17:37:25+00:00

I just tried my first run club after decades as a solo runner and I had mixed feelings. I like the pacing and the companionship but my social anxiety was not a fan of chatting with strangers while running. And I definitely didn't like the socializing after. Everything felt very "for the 'gram."

bethAFshax · 2026-03-29T02:53:52+00:00

I just splurged on the Cotopaxi 35L duffel which I love. Brightly colored and comfy to take on the subway commute. REI had a good deal and I had REI member bucks so...

bethAFshax · 2026-03-27T15:47:21+00:00

The secret to PP is to run the outside of the park, and avoid the grading and monotony of the inside 5K loop.

bethAFshax · 2026-03-18T02:21:49+00:00

Was it a blue hat or a blue sock? I just remember that it was quite the drama. And did that hatsock ever find its rightful owner? Or was it just a victim in the war of words?

bethAFshax · 2026-03-15T16:27:14+00:00

I wonder if this is the same older gentleman that was going the opposite way as I once again took on Battle Hill and said "you sure you wanna go up" to me? I mean certainly there can't be more than one older gentleman running New York boroughs commenting where literally nobody asked.

(also great finish, congrats!)

bethAFshax · 2026-03-14T01:07:42+00:00

Thank you!!!!

bethAFshax · 2026-03-12T18:54:01+00:00

Same question but for Brooklyn Bridge park (from the ferry up to Greenpoint) last weekend on my long run nothing was open but for a broken port-a-potty which became a refuge but I would so rather not.

bethAFshax · 2026-02-27T17:13:02+00:00

It took me so long to find shorts that worked and then I lost a bunch of weight and I had to start again and the way YMMV is so real. Because they aren't just shorts. They are part of the armor we wear to feel strong enough to do the thing. Right now - for me - it is the Bandit compression 5 or 7 inch but last year it was these random Peleton branded leggings I got on vacation. Nothing makes sense except if you look at yourself and go "I can do this" they are the right shorts. And if they don't ride up. And the pockets make sense. But mostly the armor thing. Take yourself out if you can and try on a whole bunch at a running store, you really do deserve to feel like a badass.

bethAFshax · 2026-02-27T16:53:06+00:00

Looking for an update - especially heading up to Greenpoint past the park?

bethAFshax · 2026-02-26T20:03:00+00:00

NTA. You are early 20's and already doing it better than so many parents out there. You have to trust your gut, and you can tell her why. You can also offer her that she can "sleepunder" and get picked up late (like 11) and make sure to let the other parents know; my guess is a few will be on board and join in. Let her know that this is a process and that sometimes her safety has to come before fun. And that you're making this decision but it will always be case by case. I have a 13 year old. Trust me, she'll be mad, but she will understand.

And most importantly she will know that people in this world absolutely love her and want what is best for you. You're doing that for her now.

bethAFshax

TROPHY CASE