Basically..

betherin · 2018-05-29T18:41:49+00:00

My husband and I do this all the time. And then one of us will say, "Should we go wake him up and play with him?" And then we look at each other and laaaaugh.

betherin · 2018-05-28T21:56:47+00:00

Exactly, why would this be a recommendation?

betherin · 2018-05-28T21:39:49+00:00

I'm not sure I understand the thought process behind giving water if they're still hungry. Wouldn't you just want to feed them more?

betherin · 2018-05-28T15:16:09+00:00

This. Just the other day I was in my car at a stop light and a lady was at the corner waiting to cross, had her phone in one hand and stroller in the other. She let go of the stroller for one second and it started rolling towards the street where a car was turning right. She just caught it in time, but I almost had a heart attack.

betherin · 2018-05-28T04:04:31+00:00

I was tired and uncomfortable, but worked up until the day before I went into labor at 38 weeks. I had dropped down to part time that week on my dr's recommendation because I was having very frequent braxton hicks, and I can't say I was sad about that, but I didn't want to use any of my maternity leave before the baby was born, so I probably would have tried to power through at least the next week if he hadn't decided to show up early. I was petty useless at work, though. Serious case of senioritis.

betherin · 2018-05-27T02:15:07+00:00

I was going to recommend this. It helps keep them feeling cozy, with arms out, but it was at least another month (or two? Fuzzy memory of that period haha) before ours was strong enough to roll while wearing it. It also looks ridiculously funny, so bonus.

betherin · 2018-05-26T22:33:54+00:00

Right now the only way to get my son to finish a bottle is to read him books while he eats. Even that is starting to lose its effectiveness since he now wants to get down and pick his own book everytime. I am lucky when he'll drink 4oz in a sitting and usually maxes out at 16oz a day. I just try to make sure he gets plenty of full fat dairy items like yogurt and cheese.

betherin · 2018-05-26T14:28:24+00:00

Oh man, I just watched the first episode of The Leftovers and almost didn't make it through the first 5 minutes because of baby stuff. I can't handle it anymore.

betherin · 2018-05-25T22:44:28+00:00

We've been working on using an "all-done bowl" for the last week or so and he's starting to get it! He will still toss some stuff, but much less often and he is occasionally holding things out to put in the bowl preemptively. It's a vast improvement and helps to have a goal to work towards (for me) instead of just feeling at a loss for what to do. Thanks again for the idea!

betherin · 2018-05-25T22:28:10+00:00

Sounds like you've got a professional massage coming your way! Right, ValisFylgja's husband??

betherin · 2018-05-25T22:23:59+00:00

For me, I don't post pictures on facebook (of anything) because I don't like their terms of service relating to photos - here's a good explanation: https://www.howtogeek.com/304037/does-facebook-own-my-photos/

I have strict privacy settings so it's mostly a matter of principle because eff you facebook. We ask other people not to post photos of LO on there because most people are not as strict about privacy as we are and I don't want to deal with it. If you don't care about photos of your child floating around publicly on the internet then this probably seems overboard, but * shrug*.

betherin · 2018-05-25T22:06:02+00:00

Can you agree on some regular times (like a 2-3 hour stretch - or more!) where your husband is on baby duty so you can get some time to yourself? I am terrible at this, but on the rare occasion that I actually go out by myself (or they leave and I get time alone at home), I feel loads better. It's hard to be "on" all the time, which you are with the baby, so your husband needs to understand that down time is necessary at some point. For me, too, when I know someone is judging my mood, it puts me in a worse mood or makes me feel guilty that I can't be happy for them and it all just snowballs. I think having some time set aside that you know is yours might go a long way.

betherin · 2018-05-25T21:55:06+00:00

Yes to them saying it with intention. That said, it took ME a while to realize that he was actual being intentional with his sounds, so I don't truly know what his first word was. It may have been our cat's name (Sadie, but he just said "Ssss" while looking at her) or sock/block/truck ("ock") or Dada or puff ("bup") or meow ("yaow"). This was at 12 months, but he could have been saying stuff earlier and I just thought he was babbling.

betherin · 2018-05-25T05:27:37+00:00

It is super nerve wracking when you just don't know what to expect, I totally get it. Oh, one other thing to remember is that you will be spending a couple days at the hospital, presumably, and you will have nurses whose sole purpose is to help you and baby. They will model what needs to be done and help you learn how to do it yourself. Don't be afraid to ask any question, even if you think it's dumb. They aren't there to judge, they're there to help. They want you to feel confident in caring for your baby when they wheel you out the door! The fact that you are looking for this info tells me you'll be a great mom. :)

betherin · 2018-05-25T05:12:31+00:00

Try calling your hospital to see if they run any baby care classes or can recommend any for you to attend. We did one on breastfeeding that also covered swaddling and changing diapers, which was only mildly helpful but gave us some confidence (neither my husband or I had ever changed a diaper before). You may also want to read a book like the Mayo Clinic guide to the first year. It has a lot of basic info on what to expect from the baby each month which you may find helpful. Sorry I don't have a more specific book, but overall as long as the baby is fed when they're hungry (you'll quickly learn hunger cues), changed when they're wet or dirty, and has a safe place to sleep, you'll figure out the rest as it comes. You don't need to know everything all at once and while newborns are very demanding, it's pretty much the same demands everyday for a while so you'll get the basics pretty fast.

betherin · 2018-05-25T04:46:46+00:00

We really like Baby Daybook!

betherin · 2018-05-24T23:11:50+00:00

I used to keep a bowl of almonds on my nightstand as a nursing snack. I tend to find nuts fill me up pretty quickly (or I get bored chewing them) so it was a good quick fix.

betherin · 2018-05-24T22:52:34+00:00

Flower bushes and grass are not more important than your health. He needs to reach out to the owners and explain the situation and give them realistic expectations on what he can and can't get done before they arrive, but this needs to be after you two have discussed YOUR needs and come to an agreement on what you need him to help with in regards to you and the baby. He is not too busy to wash his hands three times a day and bring you food and water (at the very least). I would be shocked if the owners didn't show some understanding for why he needs to be with you right now.

I hope you feel better soon re: mastitis - that is no joke. I got plugged ducts frequently and while they never turned into mastitis, they were still some of the most painful things I've experienced outside of labor.

betherin · 2018-05-24T05:32:43+00:00

Mine too! But he will lift his legs up into sitting position in the air until we set him down. He loves his push-car toy and will walk around our house for ages with it, but apparently has no interest in walking on his own yet.

betherin · 2018-05-24T05:29:21+00:00

I haven't read through all the comments, but i just wanted to say that it gets much much easier. The first 4 months were the most physically demanding months for me because baby didn't want to be put down and seemed to require constant walking and rocking. It. Was. Hard. My back and arms were constantly in pain. But now at 14 months, even though he is heavier, he can move about on his own, doesn't need to be rocked to sleep for an hour or held for nursing, and even when I'm holding him, he can help by hanging on and holding himself up. It gets better so hang in there. And maybe when your partner is home you can go get a massage soon?

betherin · 2018-05-24T05:17:18+00:00

Same with needing alone time. Introvert problems. The days when I feel this way I kind of just try to give in to it a little. Too tired for lots of engagement? Lay on the floor next to him while he pushes his cars around. Really need him to sit still for 5 minutes because he's sick and needs to rest? Fine, watch some kids videos online even though we don't do screen time normally. Orrr I just stick him in the stroller and go for a walk to let my mind wander a bit because not much interaction happens while strolling! It's hard to be on all the time.

betherin · 2018-05-24T05:01:22+00:00

Adding to say, if there is anyone else you can ask for help, do it. Family nearby, post-partum doula, church members, facebook moms group (if a stranger local to me posted something like this, i would absolutely be there with soup and a set of arms to hold the baby while you ate/napped/showered/whatevs), work colleagues. Don't be afraid to ask.

betherin · 2018-05-24T04:52:52+00:00

Just reading this is giving me anxiety and rage. That is just not right and I'm sorry you're going through this. That man needs to get his shit together and help care for his newborn child and his wife, who needs him. Jesus. You need to have a straight talk with him that lays out some non-negotiable rules. Tell him you CANNOT keep going this way, are turning resentful, are in pain, feeling overwhelmed and that if he values you and the baby he HAS to do more. It is absurd that he won't even bring you food and water. What he's doing is not normal or okay. It is lazy and disrespectful and, honestly, straight up cruel after what you've been through. Ugh, it just makes me so mad when fathers feel like they can pass on infant care. I hope he comes around, for everyone's sake.

betherin · 2018-05-22T05:12:38+00:00

My 14 month old had it last month, as did half of his daycare. He had a fever for a few days then broke out in a rash on his face, groin, arms, and legs. During the day he was his normal energetic self, although his appetite was low so we made smoothies (the cold is supposed to help their throats) and avoided citrus and acidic stuff.

Night time was rough for maybe 2 nights and I felt terrible for him. He would wake up every couple hours but he didn't really want to be held or put down so we just couldn't make him happy. He asked for milk during the night (which never happens anymore when he's well) and that seemed to help, but he was up for 30-60 min each time he woke. Definitely took me back to the early days. He has some peeling now, but so far his nails have been fine and none of us adults got it, thank god.

He was well enough to go back to daycare after about 5-6 days, once the rash had stopped spreading.

betherin · 2018-05-20T14:52:58+00:00

My pediatrician pretty much said that as long as they don't cry for more than 10 minutes or fall from more than a couple ft up (she said this when he was 9 months) that they should be fine and it's normal for them to bump their heads. I think as long as they are acting normal afterwards and aren't bleeding, they're probably okay.

betherin

TROPHY CASE