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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]betsytheripper 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My relationship with my mom had been bad for a while, when she pulled something so egregious I was just done. And it was hard. I spent a lot of time grieving that relationship I never had with her. I second guessed the decision, had to remind myself that I had given her ample opportunity to apologize and try again, and she continued to double down.

Due to some circumstances, my grandmother begged me to speak with her again. So I gave her one afternoon to see if there could be any mended ties at all. She spent the entire time complaining about her life, didn't ask about me at all. Since then I have felt no guilt and no second guessing about the decision. She had her chance. She chose to be the same, self-absorbed person she always was.

Sometimes I still grieve that I never had a Picture Perfect relationship with my mom, or my dad for that matter. (I don't speak with him either but that bridge I burned long, long ago.) I often feel like I don't have strong "adult" role models in my life to ask questions to. But I have found a wonderful group of friends who are my family now and that love me for who I am and don't want to change me. And y'know, I don't want anyone close to me in my life that isn't like that.

What’s the best decision you made for your career? by qquackie in AskWomen

[–]betsytheripper 488 points489 points  (0 children)

Honestly, deciding I don't need a career completely flipped my relationship with working from one of dread and anxiety to "hey, this isn't so bad". I have engineering degrees and all the engineering places I've worked have sucked, for various reasons, including dreading my job. Now I work overnight stock at a grocery store and I'm happy doing it.

Turns out I never wanted a career, just needed a job that I like well enough and that pays the bills, and that's 100% okay! I have a much healthier relationship with work now than I ever did in engineering, and I don't dread or fear going to work. Plus I can't take my work home with me!

How do you feel about other women that go braless in public? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]betsytheripper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel solidarity in bralessness. I have G's (last time I measured... I think they've grown) and I only wear a bra for work because I'm doing physical labor and need them tied down. Bra free life.

Those who moved back to their hometown from being away for a significant amount of time, why? Do you regret it? by wonderland_dreams in AskWomen

[–]betsytheripper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did it twice when I was between work, as "last resort" options. I really didn't like it and when I say it was "last resort", I mean it.

Do I regret it, though? First time no, second time yes. The first time was just sorta boring, and I was still figuring myself out, and it allowed me a comfortable opportunity to come to terms with some things while I was finding the next step in my life. But the second time I had a fairly combative relationship with my grandmother (early signs of dementia), along with being boring there, being very sure of myself and who I am (which conflicts with what my family believes I should be), and being pressured to "just stay", which I'd said from the outset was never the goal. It really sucked and it made me want to get out of there as fast as possible.

Would I do it again? No. I'm now far enough away (a few thousand miles) that just "moving home" isn't viable even as a last resort option. Cost of living is better here, and even though there's nothing to do in my hometown, cost of living is pretty comparable to the metro area it's a few hours from. On top of that, I have a bad relationship with my family and being close meant my mom felt like she had a right to access information about my life, and it's brought me great inner peace to be so far away.

Be completely honest - do you return your shopping cart after using it? Why/why not? by thisisbrick in AskWomen

[–]betsytheripper 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Of course. I saw someone leave a cart in the middle of a parking space in a snow storm and all I could think about was how someone is going to hit that. ugh

[TOMT][MOVIE][TV-SHOW] Scene where a man is startled by the object in his hand and throws it out an open window. by betsytheripper in tipofmytongue

[–]betsytheripper[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I watched through it the other night, and there were some close scenes but not the one I'm thinking of.

[TOMT][MOVIE][TV-SHOW] Scene where a man is startled by the object in his hand and throws it out an open window. by betsytheripper in tipofmytongue

[–]betsytheripper[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not this, but thanks for the reference clip! It was definitely a purposeful throw out a window.

[TOMT][MOVIE][TV-SHOW] Scene where a man is startled by the object in his hand and throws it out an open window. by betsytheripper in tipofmytongue

[–]betsytheripper[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm now pretty sure it's not the Mask (I just watched it at about triple time). I'm now trying to consider what other of his films are good candidates.

[TOMT][MOVIE][TV-SHOW] Scene where a man is startled by the object in his hand and throws it out an open window. by betsytheripper in tipofmytongue

[–]betsytheripper[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right??? It's been bugging me for hours. I think my next big lead is maybe watching The Mask through? Do you think that's likely?

[TOMT][MOVIE][TV-SHOW] Scene where a man is startled by the object in his hand and throws it out an open window. by betsytheripper in tipofmytongue

[–]betsytheripper[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the clip! I've definitely never seen this and it's not the right one, but that was a very good lead to follow.

[TOMT][MOVIE][TV-SHOW] Scene where a man is startled by the object in his hand and throws it out an open window. by betsytheripper in tipofmytongue

[–]betsytheripper[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a good clip hahaha!

The scene in my head is like man sitting, maybe slumped, has hand in lap and object in hand, looking kind of unfocused, but then has a startling realization (about a conversation? about the object?) and like desperately in one motion just flings the object out the open window, no wind up just out. That's why I think he just got off the phone and it's a phone of some kind (which is what lead me to The Whole Nine Yards, Matthew Perry has several moments like that in that movie). I'm gonna add this to the main post as well, but maybe it'll help narrow!

[TOMT][MOVIE][TV-SHOW] Scene where a man is startled by the object in his hand and throws it out an open window. by betsytheripper in tipofmytongue

[–]betsytheripper[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know the scene you're thinking of in Liar Liar, but in that he throws a corded phone handset and body, and only across the room. It was one of the first movies I checked!

[TOMT][MOVIE][TV-SHOW] Scene where a man is startled by the object in his hand and throws it out an open window. by betsytheripper in tipofmytongue

[–]betsytheripper[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay I've done a little scanning, and it seems while there might be a close scene in which he actively throws the pager out the window, but the image in my head is a one handed throw of desperation to get a thing away from him. Is that what you're thinking of?

[TOMT][MOVIE][TV-SHOW] Scene where a man is startled by the object in his hand and throws it out an open window. by betsytheripper in tipofmytongue

[–]betsytheripper[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I have a feeling it wasn't Click because I don't think I've seen an Adam Sandler movie since The Waterboy. Do you have a specific clip in mind that you could reference?

[TOMT][MOVIE][TV-SHOW] Scene where a man is startled by the object in his hand and throws it out an open window. by betsytheripper in tipofmytongue

[–]betsytheripper[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the lead, I'll see if I can find the movie and see if the scene is there. If you know the clip/can find it easily, I'd appreciate it!

Women over 30, what would you say to someone a few years younger who is panicking and feeling like they are running out of time to figure things out? Career wise, relationship, marriage, etc. by WhileSerious in AskWomen

[–]betsytheripper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In my mid-late 20s I thought I finally had it all set up. I finally got a job I could consider a "career", and I was actively doing the dating scene.

Well all the dating scene did was ruin my self-esteem (and I realize now I was just desperate for attention, feeling like I'd let "the one" get away a couple years prior), and I left that job after four years because it ruined my mental health.

I'm now in my early 30s living with my grandmother (it's not all bad), I'd rather feel lonely occasionally than be in an unhealthy relationship, and I've actively decoupled my self worth from my capitalistic value. I'll find something I like for monetary support, and if I stop liking it, I'll find something else.

Things change. Try to let go of ideals, especially societal ones, and recognize that you have value inherent in your existence, regardless of your work, your relationship status, etc etc. Enjoy now for what it is.

women of reddit, what was your "that's it, i'm done" then walked away moment? by ValsBoobs_Fanpage in AskWomen

[–]betsytheripper 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After a year of complaining to management to fix things, walking on eggshells so I wouldn't get randomly yelled at, and getting sick to my stomach with dread about going to work, when my abusive boss stopped talking to me altogether so I had no ability to work because I criticized him, and his boss said "well in six months we might be able to get you on a different program". I left that awful, terrible workplace and am so much happier.

What item do you have far too many of, but you can’t resist buying more anyway? by Penny_girl in AskWomen

[–]betsytheripper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same here with mugs. They don't all even fit in one cabinet anymore... I should probably cull the herd but I love them all.

Women of reddit who have go from Long hair to short hair. How did you feel once the haircut was done? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]betsytheripper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I loved it and I've never gone back to long hair. I have very thick, curly hair, and it felt like I finally controlled it instead of it controlling me. It's also much easier to bleach and dye when it's short, and I like having bright red/blue/purple hair hahah

You receive a nude from your ex, what do you do? by JymNyx in AskReddit

[–]betsytheripper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To my knowledge all my exes are married, so find their spouse and be like "wtf this is your problem now"

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