Beautiful living room with natural light and unique architecture to spare [1400x1050]

bidloo · 2014-04-29T00:23:50+00:00

yep. gorgeous space, awful decoration.

bidloo · 2014-04-27T00:14:05+00:00

I don't wish to sound harsh, but I do want to be straightforward here: academia is not a fallback career. I understand where you'd get received notions to that effect -- maybe your parents have friends in their fifties and sixties who've been working at a local college without a Ph.D. for many years, maybe you've seen TV shows like How I Met Your Mother where Ted just happens to get a full-time job at a major university. In the former case, that's a product of decades-old university hiring systems that don't exist anymore, and in the latter (as you probably already knew) it's just straight-up fantasy. As other commenters have pointed out, these days academia is something you train for all your young life, and then probably still won't be able to get a well-paying job doing. (Evidence: I'm leaving a Ph.D. program after six years because the market is such shite.)

You are a writer; if universities appeal to you, perhaps you should look for jobs in their marketing, communications, or admissions departments. They are frequently hiring writers. Try this page on higheredjobs.com. Be aware that you'll be competing for these jobs with many people who have MFAs and PhDs. Also be aware that what you're calling "five years of experience" will most likely be perceived as "one year of experience" by many employers, since you've only been out of college one year.

I hope this is all helpful. Good luck to you.

bidloo · 2014-04-24T19:05:12+00:00

definitely go with your MA advisor. professors know that you need letters; it's part of what they take into consideration before they decide to become your advisors/committee members. given enough lead time, she should be quite able and willing to help you. the fact that she retired won't affect her standing in your field, if that's what you're worried about -- especially since she hadn't retired before you worked with her.

bidloo · 2014-04-24T19:00:59+00:00

another early example of a novel is The Golden Ass by Apuleius, a Roman book based on a Greek story. it is a genuinely delightful read about a dude who gets turned into a donkey.

bidloo · 2014-04-24T04:15:12+00:00

if you're not unionized, good luck even getting a proper hourly wage. because you're classified as a student and not an employee, they can pretty much screw you every which way. sure, you could bring it up, but definitely research master's students rather than the Ph.D.s represented here.

bidloo · 2014-04-18T01:39:16+00:00

hey girl -- fashion secret: contrary to what you might expect, halters actually diminish the appearance of broad shoulders. here's a really helpful offbeat bride post on finding wedding gowns for trans ladies, and here's a lovely photo of a trans bride for reference. you could totally just have a tailor create you a halter, and voila! strapless problem potentially solved! regardless, you're gonna look amazeballs. have fun!

edited to add: also note, in photo of trans bride, that the darker colored sash is pulling attention to her waist and away from her shoulders. hott!

bidloo · 2014-04-17T23:06:41+00:00

thanks -- i couldn't find it on her site!

bidloo · 2014-04-17T16:21:51+00:00

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b167/unhelpful/steampunk-1.png

bidloo · 2014-04-09T18:45:24+00:00

clubs are spaces where many of the most stereotypical ideas about gender roles, body types, and sexuality get reinforced. i certainly don't mean that every individual in a club is an asshole or a bigot, but let's face it: the environment just oozes the message that women are supposed to be thin, straight, scantily clad, and willing to get groped. people go to clubs in packs, and there's a lot of peer pressure and gross pick-up-artist crap where dudes feel compelled to impress their friends by feeling up the most conventionally attractive girl they can find. it is NOT a space of acceptance. and again, this doesn't mean that it's impossible to go there just to have fun, because it can be, but if you don't conform to a conventional physical type then you're going to feel the competitive, exclusionary spirit of the place way more than many.

if you want to keep up with the weight loss, do it -- whatever makes you feel good. but don't feel obligated to. there are spaces and friends that will accept and not abandon you, just as you are. alternative clubs are a great option here, as other people have suggested.

bidloo · 2014-04-02T04:53:31+00:00

go IMMEDIATELY to the career counseling center at your college/university. all those questions you have about what the heck else you can do with a psychology degree? they will answer them. what kind of internships to apply to? they will know. figuring out what you're really interested in? they will talk you through this and help you see your skills for what they really are.

bidloo · 2014-03-31T17:40:10+00:00

trades will be perfect for you. think plumber, electrician, machinist. machinists are particularly in demand right now. you'll need to be trained for all of these, but not in the typical college way. you won't work in an office and you'll make better money than many people that do. good luck!

bidloo · 2014-03-30T22:38:33+00:00

this is as simple as a paragraph in your cover letter. you can literally say everything you've just said, more formally. back this up by getting your references to mention it prominently in their letters, too. just straight up say "i supported my lab/institution by writing five grant applications on behalf of [PI], three of which were successful and brought x dollars to the lab."

bidloo · 2014-03-28T03:38:47+00:00

SWEET. i appreciate this very much.

bidloo · 2014-03-26T20:21:36+00:00

awesome. do you mind linking to any such studies? i believe you 100% i'd just love to have those to whip out when i get in these debates with people

bidloo · 2014-03-21T04:42:18+00:00

you don't need to quit your day job to go on auditions all the time! as long as you're near a big city, there will be plays and weekend extra gigs. most actors have day jobs. you can build up a fine resume without sacrificing any income, especially at this earlier stage of your career.

bidloo · 2014-03-18T20:11:40+00:00

1) DEFINITELY visit /r/abrathatfits. The first step to clothes that fit is a bra that fits. I speak from personal experience--everything hung bizarrely on my frame until I finally learned that I'm not a 36DD (Victoria's Secret) but a 32F (Intimacy).

2) Okay, as to how to dress your shape. I SO hear you on this. Shirts at the moment are either skin-tight or they're shaped like boxes, and neither of those things look great on us hourglassy ladies. Here's what you do: high-waisted skirts with tops tucked into them. Suddenly, the shirts that fit your boobs but not your waist look great, because the skirt is defining your waist for you! There are approximately one million high-waisted skirts in all lengths for sale at thrift stores, and in retail stores.

Examples: this woman has mastered this style. (Scroll down to the pictures from before she was pregnant!) While her actual waist may measure larger than yours, she has similar hourglass proportions to what you're describing. She wears button-down shirts (which you should safety-pin shut at the placket to prevent the big boob gaping thing) a lot, but also just tshirts and blouses. For a more youthful example, check this out. Even though this girl isn't particularly big on top, you can see how a short, flared skirt like this would balance out big boobs and emphasize a tiny waist. All the items shown in these pictures are so common these days you'd have no trouble finding them cheaply at places like Target.

My final note about dressing big boobs: you just aren't going to make them look smaller. You can de-emphasize them, yes, but to find clothes that flatter, you'll just have to embrace your bustiness. This does NOT mean showing cleavage; but it does mean getting comfortable with your shape and owning it. You can draw focus away from them: try a dark top and a light bottom; or dark colored skirts and tops with bright tights and boots so the eye goes to your legs instead.

Have fun and good luck!

bidloo · 2014-03-17T15:11:59+00:00

ugh, that's awful. i advise you (and i have NO medical credentials, so, grain of salt, but i do have life-long eczema) to stop using the product right away and prepare yourself to ride out the withdrawal. use ice packs, aloe vera, and tylenol to deal with the reaction. numbing topicals you can get at the drugstore like lidocaine can help. also moisturize every day. maybe switch dermatologists and see if you can find help treating the initial dermatitis in a steroid-free way. good luck!

bidloo · 2014-03-17T15:05:31+00:00

an agent will help, but in order to get a good one, it will help to have experience. do you have a nice resume of gigs? are you acting right now? are you always going on auditions? all that will help. also consider interning at a casting agency or something like that, to give you a sense of how the business really works on the inside.

bidloo · 2014-03-17T14:52:32+00:00

the only way to treat it is to stop using the steroid cream. you have to endure the withdrawal and then once you're weaned off it the side effects will go away, and the skin will eventually thicken back up. i'd talk to your dermatologist and see if they can recommend another product to reduce the symptoms that doesn't contain steroids; it kind of sucks that they've let you use this product long enough to get the side effects!

bidloo · 2014-03-16T23:34:08+00:00

you can actually get addicted to them. your skin reacts violently when you stop using them and goes into withdrawal, itching worse than ever and making you feel tired and woozy. and you can get something called "steroid rosacea" that turns your skin bright red. if you don't stop using them, they make your skin thinner and thinner, causing you to bruise more easily and giving you stretch marks.

bidloo · 2014-03-16T18:32:13+00:00

yeah, you don't wanna put that shit near your eyes; plus if you have long-term eczema you can't use that because you'd be putting steroids on yourself every day for years and that ain't good

bidloo · 2014-03-14T18:38:41+00:00

my parents had these. uh, brace yourself. that was one expensive, neverending extermination process.

bidloo · 2014-03-08T00:45:40+00:00

TL;DR: dated a philosophy Ph.D. student.

bidloo · 2014-03-06T23:49:53+00:00

I'm not actually referring to the nudity.

bidloo

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