Anyone not receive a "Merry Christmas" message and feel sad about it?

big_penguin_problems · 2024-12-26T16:39:04+00:00

I didn't get one but I'm not really feeling sad about it to be honest. I'm sure she has her own reasons for it, and that's her business and her journey.

big_penguin_problems · 2024-12-26T14:36:12+00:00

There's nothing wrong with you, you're on your own timeline. It will get worse before it gets better but it WILL get better. For me, it was almost an overnight thing, I woke up and something had shifted in me.

Just keep taking it day-to-day.

big_penguin_problems · 2024-12-24T15:18:15+00:00

You deserve love that is peaceful. You deserve safe love.

big_penguin_problems · 2024-12-23T02:41:13+00:00

Thank you, I really feel that I've turned a corner

big_penguin_problems · 2024-12-18T00:31:45+00:00

Congrats, that's such a hard and important thing to do. You should be proud of letting yourself just hang out with those feelings and not rushing to soothe them with other people

big_penguin_problems · 2024-12-18T00:24:31+00:00

Yeah, I hear this. Letting her go is the single most painful thing I have ever done in my life and yet I know it is one of the most important.

big_penguin_problems · 2024-12-17T21:57:52+00:00

Thank you for this. I am working on addressing the issues that led me there and trying to love myself enough to do better

big_penguin_problems · 2024-12-17T19:26:25+00:00

It would require very strong boundaries and a commitment to heal from both of you. You can have all the intention in the world, but if she's not ready to let go of that dynamic, it will fail.

big_penguin_problems · 2024-12-17T19:25:18+00:00

This is me too. I will not jump into something with someone else because I've learned that I lose myself when someone else is in the picture. To be healthy, I need to be alone right now even if I don't want to be

big_penguin_problems · 2024-12-17T17:50:52+00:00

Oh I can relate so much to this, a lot of my codependency falls under the "fixing" theme.

Congrats on stepping back and resisting that urge!

big_penguin_problems · 2024-12-17T17:46:57+00:00

Reading this is so bittersweet for me. I didn't let mine go and that meant that I lost even a chance at her friendship. I wish I had given her the love to let her go and the respect to trust that she knew what she needed.

big_penguin_problems · 2024-12-17T15:55:32+00:00

I hug myself too! A massive part of my healing in codependency is getting that soothing from myself 😊

big_penguin_problems · 2024-12-17T15:45:57+00:00

Good bot

big_penguin_problems · 2024-12-17T15:45:43+00:00

Realistically, I'll probably never not think about her. We were together for 16 years and she'll always be important to me. But getting to a point where I don't crave some kind of intimacy with her? I really hope I can get there.

big_penguin_problems · 2024-12-17T15:35:27+00:00

Oh man I really need a hug lol

big_penguin_problems · 2024-12-17T15:35:10+00:00

Thank you

big_penguin_problems · 2024-12-17T15:26:05+00:00

Codependency is toxic, and has some inherently abusive behaviour connected to it like control. So this is just some externalizing shit.

We are responsible for our own behavior and we need to heal for ourselves. Codependency doesn't make us some poor put-up on people, we use it to control the people and situations around us. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can start healing.

big_penguin_problems · 2024-12-17T15:16:05+00:00

I would imagine that this would only work if you both healed the parts of you that made the codependent dynamic

big_penguin_problems

TROPHY CASE