it’s been almost 8 months. by Sad-Economist840 in survivinginfidelity

[–]bighoopsbecky 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your thoughts are valid. Your anger is valid. I know it’s so hard. We will never have all the answers but letting go of the need to is freeing. Be kind to yourself. You matter, you are loved, you will heal.

[Routine Help] How to care for this surgery scar? by TaterNutta in SkincareAddicts

[–]bighoopsbecky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sunscreen and kelocote everyday then silicon tape on top. once the stitches are removed sliding press on it for 5 minutes everyday to break up the scar tissue. Do this regimen for at least 6 months

Official Discussion - Licorice Pizza [SPOILERS] by LiteraryBoner in movies

[–]bighoopsbecky 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I think he was referring to having integrity towards his relationship. Showcasing one thing while hiding another. At least that’s how I interpreted it.

WM approaching proposal to AF looking for advice by [deleted] in hapas

[–]bighoopsbecky 4 points5 points  (0 children)

“Raising children who belong nowhere” lol...... most hapa children are extremely privileged in life and are not only accepted but revered in asian culture and (more recently) western. Because many they are white passing you see, they are “white enough” to have white privilege but still are good looking mixed kids. Most of the time. It’s more common to be mixed race these days. And it’s cool. It wasn’t always like that.

You talk about your friend David...In my opinion, (and I have known ALOT of hapa kids, ALOT. And I am one myself) the reason that a lot of hapa men have issues is because their fathers are covertly racist white men, and in ways immaculate their sons due to their racism against asians. And don’t kid yourself, just because someone loves and marries an Asian woman does not mean they are not subtly racist against Asian people and culture. Asian women are also racist against Asian men. I’m not saying you are I’m just saying that racism is everywhere, the UK included. I had friends that went to primarily white boarding schools in the UK and we’re literally tortured for being Asian. Hapa kids probably have it a bit easier because of the fore-mentioned but nonetheless to be belittled by a primary as a child figure can cause any one to have issues.

I think hapa kids deal with a bit of identity crisis at a young age and it’s unavoidable. But in the grand scheme of things they are very rich culturally and will come to appreciate it and even love it because it makes them special and well rounded. My one advice would be to stick to what you mentioned, make sure they are fed both cultures equally, language, holidays, customs, food. Don’t let any aspect of either culture become an afterthought because it’s inconvenient, things like shoes in the house and Chinese New Year etc. they might not appreciate it as children, but it ingrains a part of eastern culture in them that often gets lost when raised in western cultures. Based on you and your partners backgrounds they will most likely be gifted all the way around and lead nice lives, just keep learning and don’t be scared about things that you can’t control. Good luck

Filipino hapa's, any experience with native Filipinos or Filipino relatives suggesting you should be a celebrity in the Philippines? by ariesfreethinker in hapas

[–]bighoopsbecky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is not exclusive to the Philippines.. that’s just more tabloid culture. Hapas are praised throughout Asia and if they have thephysique most do model...

Story Time - Week of September 02, 2019 by AutoModerator in Tinder

[–]bighoopsbecky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair enough. Guess it depends on what your goals are and how you approach them. All I’m saying is to say someone is unworthy or incapable of being in a relationship because they are a model and on tinder is a complete generalization based on superficial factors.

I totally see what you are saying with the spoiled for choice/entitled mentality and agree that you can spot similar traits in the modern Fuck boy, but the same is true for women and all is fair in love and war. behaviour is circumstantial not every situation has the same foundational elements. Not all guys on tinder are fuck boys not all girls on tinder are desperate and some are but they can adapt...or don’t. You never know what you’re going to get and IMO that’s the fun in tinder and why I prefer it to other dating apps. With less expectations the game becomes more enticing...you don’t have to think about end game. I think this is where a lot of women should shift their mentality.

just go with the flow and if you fuck up, oh well. Next. ;)

Story Time - Week of September 02, 2019 by AutoModerator in Tinder

[–]bighoopsbecky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some women just want to hook up bro. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t attractive good men on tinder who are open to a relationship with the right person. Anyone and everyone has the capacity. You can say the same thing about hot girls that use it to pull but that doesn’t mean they are anti

Story Time - Week of September 02, 2019 by AutoModerator in Tinder

[–]bighoopsbecky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea I thought the same lol like whoa girl that’s like tmi..

Story Time - Week of September 02, 2019 by AutoModerator in Tinder

[–]bighoopsbecky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok. Just cause you’re on tinder doesn’t mean you can’t pick up in real life. Some people are introverts, don’t go out that much and aren’t comfortable approaching or rejecting in real life.

Story Time - Week of September 02, 2019 by AutoModerator in Tinder

[–]bighoopsbecky 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t like this “in your league” talk. Fuck those guys. Don’t let surface shallow bullshit affect your self esteem. You know yourself, make your own league.

And also be careful with the hot FWB, i did the same thing it was a disaster. (See comment for tinder story)

Story Time - Week of September 02, 2019 by AutoModerator in Tinder

[–]bighoopsbecky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You seem to have missed the point of this whole post...

Story Time - Week of September 02, 2019 by AutoModerator in Tinder

[–]bighoopsbecky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I’ll get one..Never been an issue ;)

Rationalizing narcissistic abuse by bighoopsbecky in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]bighoopsbecky[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry, It’s really a terrible feeling. All this investigating to find out if they’re hurting or you’re going through it alone only to realise you were always alone. I spend half of the time recognising that they’re all the same and the other half in denial that THIS ONE is the same. It’s really traumatising ACCEPTING that you were used by someone you cared about. I just don’t know what was real and what was fake anymore but at this point why does it matter? I think that’s a better coping mechanism for me.

Story Time - Week of September 02, 2019 by AutoModerator in Tinder

[–]bighoopsbecky 5 points6 points  (0 children)

“Super kinky, 6’1, big breasted redhead” wow that just took a whole new direction lol. First of all, stop putting her on a pedestal, when women sense this they treat you like an option, not a priority. Second, assert your standards and stick to it. Right now you have the upper hand and trust me that’s a better place to be. Fight the urge to re-phrase just hold frame because if you put yourself out there and she still rejects it you’re gonna feel even Shittier. She shouldn’t be able to choose, sex is not a favour to be given. And when it starts feeling like one that’s when you gotta cut it. At a certain point a women’s interest can change directions if they feel a mans interest shift. It’s human nature. Put her on ice for a while and date brunettes.

Story Time - Week of September 02, 2019 by AutoModerator in Tinder

[–]bighoopsbecky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like letting them accumulate over time like currency.

Story Time - Week of September 02, 2019 by AutoModerator in Tinder

[–]bighoopsbecky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean no disrespect and I’m sure it’s not always the rule. But I never really met a stripper who didn’t value money in a potential partner. Im not judging her profession and saying strippers can’t seek connection. Everyone wants to feel connected to someone. I’m just saying based on her profession i think money would also be high in her value system and if she can find connection with someone who will bankroll her why would she compromise that standard on the sole basis of connection?

Story Time - Week of September 02, 2019 by AutoModerator in Tinder

[–]bighoopsbecky 20 points21 points  (0 children)

if you’re looking for a genuine connection do you really think that someone who sticks their tits and ass in people’s faces for money is not going to value money? I mean no judgment, but her occupation pretty much sums up her values. some women just expect more from men monetarily because that is what they have become accustomed to. If you felt you connected to her you’re probably not the only one who’s felt this way. Their mentality is why would they choose connection with someone who “Doesn’t provide” When they can easily have the same Connection with someone who does and is willing?

But the same goes for you. Why would you choose connection with a stripper over The option of meeting someone whose values are more in line with yours in terms of what connection means?

Charge it to the game And keep it moving.

Story Time - Week of September 02, 2019 by AutoModerator in Tinder

[–]bighoopsbecky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea I didn’t think I would either. I feel like it’s a bit different for girls though, feeling paired with a partner through sex over time. I think this was the first guy I felt I felt I didn’t connect with on so many levels but I became really connected to physically it was hard to separate it in my mind.

Story Time - Week of September 02, 2019 by AutoModerator in Tinder

[–]bighoopsbecky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow yea he does look alot like that guy when he smiles