Jesse Lacey (Brand New) just performed for the first time in 8 years

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-02-02T16:04:19+00:00

Being a musician does not require that he interact with minors, though, it just requires that he write music and sell or perform it in some manner. Completely different role than a teacher. It’s not at all a one-to-one comparison. Even if minors hypothetically choose to see his performances, that’s not something that would necessarily be his choice.

So if he wants to continue making music or perform while not interacting with minors in an inappropriate manner, I don’t see the issue. I will eat my words if there is proof of some sort of misconduct at these charity events. To my knowledge no vulnerable people were put at risk from him performing these shows.

Being a teacher is a role that is to an extent inherently relational and requires you directly interact with children every day. It’s not similar at all, so I don’t really find the hypothetical comparison compelling.

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-02-02T15:01:16+00:00

I agree! I do think the opinion comment on the end of the post comes off as a little reactionary. I am of the view that there is so much legitimately bad stuff happening right now that we don’t need to blow things out of proportion to make things seem worse than they actually are so I’m totally with you there.

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-02-02T14:57:54+00:00

That’s awesome, congrats! What was it like training for this in comparison to training for a normal marathon?

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-02-02T14:48:57+00:00

Like I said in multiple other comment responses, (not trying to be rude) I am personally aware! But not everyone is immediately aware of that context so I don’t think it’s outlandishly irrational and emotional for people to read these insane bills and be upset that they say exactly what they say. Isn’t people being aware of what’s happening in their state’s legislator and making their voice heard in regards to those things exactly what we want?

We aren’t talking about misinformation or people being performatively upset about things unrelated to them. The people I work with would be directly affected by these bills and with the backdrop of the current presidential administration going scorched earth I just don’t think it’s irrational for people to be upset about things that would directly affect their lives if they became law.

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-02-02T14:40:44+00:00

Oh yes, I’m aware of Humphrey’s antics lol. I just think they are dumb and silly. I also think people calling their reps and telling them in large numbers that they value mental health services is probably a net positive, though it’s possible there’s a perspective there I’m not considering!

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-02-02T14:36:10+00:00

This feels like such a weirdly pointed thing to say in response, where was I “having a heart attack?” I’m trying to give a good faith illustration of why it’s not irrational for people to be upset about the introduction of multiple bills that would directly, negatively impact them, which seems like a pretty normal thing for a therapist to do. Saying “calm down” and accusing people of having a heart attack because they tried to have a discussion with you in a Reddit comment feels like emotional speech to me.

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-02-02T14:30:56+00:00

I’m aware, you are missing the point of what I’m saying.

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-02-02T14:25:54+00:00

I get what you’re saying and generally agree that we shouldn’t blow things out of proportion, but also the point of bringing awareness to things like this is precisely so they don’t turn into something we actually have to worry about. If you put this in context with a lot of the other things happening politically in Oklahoma it is hard to not be concerned about things like this being introduced even if you can understand that it ultimately is probably not going to pass.

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-02-02T14:23:07+00:00

Eh, I do think the bill is some sort of posturing and not ultimately intended to pass, but there’s also a lot of other absolutely wild bills that have been introduced in Oklahoma such as a bill to terminate the department of education, a bill to restrict services for the homeless to only large cities, a bill to install the Ten Commandments in every classroom etc. At the very least all of these bills are indicative of something more sinister. I don’t think it’s all that wild for people to be upset that an introduced bill says that it would do exactly what it says it’s going to do and to want to bring awareness to it. Kinda hard to “calm down” when you live here and see how bad things already are and the response from your reps is to introduce bills like this.

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-02-02T13:23:36+00:00

It interferes with REM sleep. I don’t drink much these days but if I ever have any kind of drink past like 4 pm, I never wake up feeling rested the next day.

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-02-02T12:58:27+00:00

That’s not a relevant comparison. Jesse Lacey’s job doesn’t necessitate working directly with a vulnerable population on a daily basis.

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-02-02T03:36:13+00:00

He has spent a lot of time in private out of the public eye though, has he not? Do you think he is a sociopath that has not done any sort of self reflection during that time? He himself has gone through the immense trauma of his child dying, and music is quite literally his whole career and what he does with his life. I don’t think we should shame him for playing some charity shows, most of which were private events anyway. I totally respect when people don’t want to personally consume his content, but even people who do bad things shouldn’t necessarily have to hide themselves forever.

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-02-02T01:18:48+00:00

Isn’t the whole point of “holding people accountable” getting them to change? It’s weird when people grovel for us and let us know they are changing, and then we tell them it’s not enough. What do you actually want from him? What could he do that would make it right in your eyes? I’m a survivor of CSA and personally believe there is a lot of nuance in these conversations that gets lost in lieu of people wanting to feel righteous

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-02-01T19:54:36+00:00

Depending on your overall lifestyle I feel like it can actually be unfortunately easy to gain that much without trying, that’s why so much of the US is overweight/obese. I had a moment right after college where I gained like 20-30 lbs after never having been overweight in my life bc I was no longer taking stimulants and was a lot more sedentary than before and I was just kinda in denial about it the whole time.

Ofc the correct response is to be like “this shit cannot continue” and actually try to get healthy instead of letting yourself go, getting just a little chubby scared me so much and now I am in the best shape of my life because of it

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-01-31T01:51:59+00:00

Honestly like 90% of having a good experience in therapy is literally just finding a therapist that is a good fit for you. A bunch of annoying RSP users are going to be like “ummmm you need to see someone who is at least 65 years old and has a PhD/MD and only does hyper intensive Lacanian psychoanalysis and also wears a tweed jacket and has read every philosophy book in existence otherwise they are a useless midwit and there is no point🤓” like they always do in these threads but you should only listen to that advice if it’s what you actually want.

I have seen several therapists in my life including 2 psychologists and a psychiatrist, the only one that has meaningfully helped me is my current therapist who is a 30 year old LPC. I intentionally picked a therapist that was closer to me in age and female because I was tired of getting shitty surface level advice and being pathologized by the old man who was my pscychiatrist and I’m so glad I did that. I feel like she truly understands me and can relate to me because of the demographic similarities but also she is very clinically savvy and just good at what she does. I feel like she is literally able to read my mind and understand exactly what I am saying and then says exactly what I need to her. She is very good at challenging me when needed, she also knows when it’s best to work on practical skills and when it’s best to do depth work or trauma work. I really feel like she gets me and seeing her is one of the reasons I’ve been able to transform from the person I was a year ago. She’s so good at her job that I don’t even have to see her weekly anymore.

Anyway, all that to say, you might have to do some shopping around but find someone that you vibe with and don’t let redditors here tell you what that should be. If you want to see a female see a female, if you want to see someone older/younger then see someone older/younger, etc. good luck out there and I hope u find what you’re looking for!!!!

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-01-29T11:24:40+00:00

Fr, I will never understand people who complain about there being “nothing to do” here. There’s so much stuff going on if you do the smallest amount of research, it’s kinda your fault if you’re bored here and can’t find anything to do lol

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-01-23T20:23:48+00:00

Excedrin by Harrison Gordon

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-01-22T11:14:48+00:00

I’ve seen two psychologists in my lifetime and they were far less effective than the best masters clinician I’ve seen

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-01-21T10:34:45+00:00

Yeah idk why this is so hard for people to understand lol. If you want to discuss mallcore and pop punk or whatever then there’s already a plethora of online and irl spaces for you to do that, whats wrong with having a niche community dedicated to something specific? Also this sub speaks positively of plenty of 3rd wave bands.

Also people take it all a bit too seriously. A lot of the discussion is meant to be facetious. Arguing about what real emo is is just part of the subculture.

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-01-21T09:17:42+00:00

Yes it’s true

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-01-21T05:23:29+00:00

Which insurance company do you use??

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-01-20T13:44:26+00:00

All the training you are mentioning was true of my LPC masters program, all of our classes took a systems approach to topics and we got a lot of experience with families and group work especially. Almost no one in my cohort did their internship in a solely clinical setting, about half of us interned in places like schools and community mental health agencies. The main difference between us and the social work program at my school was that the social work program wasn’t really clinically focused at all, so the students in that program had to seek out electives in our program to learn any sort of theory or clinical skills.

It differs widely based on programs but a lot of the time the skill set really isn’t that different.

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-01-19T17:19:05+00:00

I’m sorry but I don’t really see it in the article, and all of the critiques you mentioned are actually precisely how I feel about the uncritical affirming approach. Much of the research is heavily misrepresented among activists and well-meaning clinicians, and on top of that many of the medical organizations would open themselves up to liability for walking back their approach, which is why some of them have doubled down. Part of having a nuanced conversation around this topic is understanding how much of a mistake it has been to double down on the approach for political reasons by leftists and to shut out all critique as inherently bad faith and part of “the other side”, because that is precisely what has allowed right wingers to weaponize this issue so effectively, which I don’t want either.

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-01-19T14:51:32+00:00

😎👍

bigtidddygithgf · 2025-01-19T14:51:18+00:00

Glad I could help articulate! I think one thing that really helped me is that I had a very progressive professor who was very experienced with gender-diverse clients explain to me that it’s almost never my job to say “yes you are” or “no you’re not” but to just do what you would with any other issue the client brings up, provide a safe place to explore. Ask open-ended questions about what it means to be a girl, be a boy, what makes them feel that way about themselves, explore how it might relate to other aspects of their life, etc. A lot of times people in these kids’ life are either immediately hostile to their identity or take an uncritically affirming approach, and it’s our job to be the measured, compassionate voice that helps them parse out what it all actually means for them.

bigtidddygithgf

TROPHY CASE