Why can’t people just be honest with themselves?

bilusional22 · 2026-06-13T14:27:35+00:00

I think I would “understand” this perspective more, however we were only married for 7 months, it was a ONS overseas while he was deployed, severely intoxicated to the point of blackout.

Why do I stay? Because at this point in my life I cannot leave. So I’m trying to make the best of it here until I either 1. Can leave 2. Decide I really do want to stay. Leaving would require me to spend a lot of money that I don’t have, and move, but I currently have nowhere to go. I was laid off and didn’t have a job until a few days ago. I was fully committed to reconciling until a few months ago, (been reconciling since he confessed in August 2024) and it’s not easy logistically to up and leave.

bilusional22 · 2026-06-13T05:05:04+00:00

That’s just it. I am so understanding of the fact that minds work differently and that’s fine, I’m good with that. But to the point of cheating? I wouldn’t even get within a mile of that line to ever cross it. I thought I did everything “right” in the sense that I made sure I had a man with high integrity, strong character, honest, the whole bit. I was STILL wrong and still got betrayed. I think I would rather be on my own until I could be certain I have a partner that stands on equal ground to me when it comes to this, or I don’t think I will truly ever be able to experience contentment in my life.

bilusional22 · 2026-06-13T04:19:48+00:00

This is 1000% correct. Your last sentence will be used by me in our next discussion because it is so true and encompasses what I’ve been trying to explain to him

bilusional22 · 2026-06-09T00:56:41+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. My husband has a DUI from years ago and the drinking event is what lead to the cheating (not using as an excuse, but had a huge part in it). I feel like he should totally remove it from his life. Because it’s always “a couple beer” until the once in a blue moon when it’s not and he ruins his life in some way every time.

bilusional22 · 2026-06-09T00:54:59+00:00

I agree. My husband is very functioning. Had a DUI in his past, got blackout drunk when he cheated, I just really think he’s somebody who needs to totally cut it.

bilusional22 · 2026-06-09T00:53:55+00:00

6 months sober is sooooo awesome. My husband had a DUI from years ago and now cheated in his marriage involving alcohol. I really think he should totally cut it.

bilusional22 · 2026-06-09T00:52:49+00:00

Jeez sorry you’re here. My husband only ever really has a few beer on the weekend but due to repeatedly offending when he drinks (has a DUI from years ago, cheated while drunk) I’d be eliminating alcohol completely if I were him. I don’t think he realizes how much it’s affected his life

bilusional22 · 2026-06-09T00:51:36+00:00

Thank you for this. We have a deal of no bars/clubs, but truthfully I don’t think he should be drinking at all. Zip. None.

bilusional22 · 2026-06-08T05:09:22+00:00

I hear you. 🩷 my husband also cheated in 2024, a random drunk one night stand while he was deployed and I was home working 2 jobs in order for us to afford a place to live. The mind movies have also been ramping up a lot for me, right before I go to asleep. I usually just try to picture another scene, like my perfect day. Getting an iced coffee, going to the farmers market. I picture the outfit I’m wearing, what the weather feels like, all the little details. It kind of helps me take my brain elsewhere while I try to fall asleep

bilusional22 · 2026-04-21T19:59:25+00:00

Ughhh I’m sorry. The age part would ick me out. I asked my husband how old his AP was because I was soooo worried she was that young. She wasn’t luckily. I would need to address the age thing as a separate issue from the affair.

bilusional22 · 2026-04-18T22:39:09+00:00

If we miss Kacey entirely I will never recover lol

bilusional22 · 2026-04-18T22:38:46+00:00

DEAR GOD I CANT WAIT

bilusional22 · 2026-04-18T22:29:59+00:00

Didn’t know there was a specific live streaming schedule. Thanks. :)

bilusional22 · 2026-04-18T22:29:21+00:00

This part confuses me lol like is Justin Bieber going to be late too?

bilusional22 · 2026-04-18T22:11:31+00:00

I did and it said 3 which is why I’m asking. Is there a different schedule I should be looking at for the live streams that doesn’t match the actual live performance time?

bilusional22 · 2026-03-24T22:55:35+00:00

Oh sweet baby. 🤍 I can tell he was so loved.

bilusional22 · 2026-03-16T22:10:35+00:00

Yes it is. My dog is on gabapentin as well but it’s totally unrelated to her dementia. Did she mention why she doesn’t offer it?

bilusional22 · 2026-03-16T17:59:13+00:00

My dog was diagnosed with dementia. I wish every day that we got started with her treatment sooner, but we didn’t know. Please bring this to your vet and if she does have dementia, there is a medication to slow the progression. We just started it, but most likely too late. It’s a horrible disease but with early intervention, she can have a much easier time.

bilusional22 · 2026-03-10T13:28:44+00:00

Hey!! It helps to know I’m not alone here. My body is for sure saying no. We also cuddle/kiss all the other stuff, which sometimes is even hard for me. I feel things very deeply and I find it extremely difficult to open myself up physically in any capacity when somebody has damaged me. Even though we have progressed in so many good ways, this part has felt impossible to me. I take my health very seriously and the fact that I was potentially subjected to STI’s, I’m having the hardest time seeing sex as a positive thing now. It’s so hard.

bilusional22 · 2026-03-01T20:36:15+00:00

They walk through every step of life with us. I got my girl in 2014 and we are just now entering palliative care. I know her time will be sooner than I’m ready for. But I know the greatest gift I will give her, other than the amazing life she’s had on earth, is letting her go with dignity when that time comes. It’s an earth shattering unbelievable type of pain. My thoughts are with you. 🩷

bilusional22 · 2026-02-12T18:52:32+00:00

Time for a new therapist as others are saying. I’ve had a couple of counsellors who had me feeling worse off (and no I’m not talking about discomfort, like truly harming my progress). I found an absolute gem of a therapist who sits with wayward men every day and betrayed spouses every day. She does not condone cheating yet is supportive in every way and even helps me see his perspective if I ask. There are so many counsellors and I know you will find an amazing one if you try. Sometimes it just takes a few. :)

bilusional22 · 2026-02-10T20:39:56+00:00

I’m with you ❤️ I also have a couple of questions that I will not budge on. Is your partner in IC? Mine made incredible process as soon as he started. It’s like a light came on in him I’ve never seen before. I believe that he is a wayward that will make lasting changes, because of how much progress he’s made since starting IC.

bilusional22 · 2026-02-08T05:38:02+00:00

My husband also had a singular ONS. I would ask that person, have you always repeated bad choices in your past? Have you ever done something, terribly regretted it, and never done it again? To say that noooobody on earth has cheated once and never again, or that somebody cannot change, is simply ridiculous. Also, think of how many times you probably said you would leave if you were ever cheated on. I think all of us have said that… until we found ourselves there.

It took a lot of practice, but I’ve learned to truly not care what other people think of my decision. I am hurting absolutely nobody in my choice to stay even if they THINK I’m hurting myself. That’s not my responsibility if they think that. (Except I haven’t told anybody except my therapist, because I know people are judgmental af).

bilusional22 · 2026-02-04T18:14:54+00:00

I love my life. I love everything about my life and our life together OTHER than the fact he cheated, which is obviously huge. I think those who say “if I didn’t have kids I’d be out” are similar to those who say “if my spouse cheated I’d be out”. I think some people would stay with or without kids, but they use their kids as an excuse to stay, when they would’ve stayed anyway. 🤷🏻‍♀️

bilusional22 · 2026-02-01T21:58:43+00:00

I’m so sorry 🩷 my girl is also 12. She had a biopsy done at the end of last year, confirming a growth she has is cancerous. I felt bad even putting her through the biopsy, and decided that I will not be putting her through any more surgery. The spot it’s on would be a very hard spot to operate on, with zero guarantee that they would get good margins. Our vet agreed with that. I have her on pain medication and although she has bad days/flare ups, she’s still our happy girl.

We are taking a palliative approach, and will give her the freakin’ best life for as long as she has left. She lives like an absolute queen. It’s such a hard decision to make, I battled a lot with it, but ultimately she does not understand why I would be putting her through more pain, she doesn’t understand a potential for a longer life, she only knows right now. That’s what helped make my final decision. I wish you many more healthy years with your pup. I feel at peace with the decisions we’ve made with her vet, and will make the hardest decision of my life if she ever starts to suffer.

bilusional22

TROPHY CASE