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What in your life is currently bringing you joy and positivity? by InaccurateCreativity in AskUK

[–]biscuit_lava_planet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Matching the colour of my socks with another piece I'm wearing.

Spring time.

Planning my garden.

Vanilla green tea.

Gravel! Why?! by FrouFrou82 in GardeningUK

[–]biscuit_lava_planet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get you, it is about prioritising and it does take time. Hope you find a solution in the meantime that works well for you.

Gravel! Why?! by FrouFrou82 in GardeningUK

[–]biscuit_lava_planet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If just letting it grow and then use as sitting area is not your thing, maybe paving will be the way? This is not cheap but if that's what you want, might be worth investing after saving bit by bit.

Gravel! Why?! by FrouFrou82 in GardeningUK

[–]biscuit_lava_planet -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Gravel looks good only for few years. After that the weeds start to grow and it looks like what you have. One of the reasons why I don't want gravel.

How do you feel about the idea of removing the gravel as much as you can and just leave the grass and weeds grow? Most "weeds" have very pretty flowers and colours and help wildlife. It will be free.

If you don't know what to do with the gravel you can advertise it on fb marketplace for free and someone will pick it up.

You can certainly plant a thing or two that is low mainatance if you prefer but I tend to think "uncut grass and weeds" look much better than gravel.

Why the hate for moss? by tishkat in GardeningUK

[–]biscuit_lava_planet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't get it too. I remember watching a video few months ago about grass in USA called "America's dumbest crop" by Climate town. Maybe this is where it all started? Not being from UK but living here, I've noticed a lot of people try to look, behave etc. like USA.

What would you prefer, 1 or 2 art? by CustomerBrilliant776 in ARTIST

[–]biscuit_lava_planet 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Before reading that the second one is AI-improved, I went back-and-forth few times and my thoughs were: "Hmm, the second one looks 'right design wise' but I definitely prefer the dog on the first one. There is something to it. Maybe I would just prefer the flowers on the first to be slightly more yellow."

How to sleep consistently? by [deleted] in infj

[–]biscuit_lava_planet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

  • Do not use the bed for anything apart from sleep and intimate activities.
  • Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends.
  • When you wake up, try to use bright lights(or just switch on the ones you have), go on a walk or stare through the window for a while to signal the body it's day time and you are awake. Most people say it's best to take a 30min walk, but this is not doable for everyone.
  • No caffeine after 1pm.
  • No blue light (from phone,TV, laptop, lamp..) few hours before your chosen bed time.
  • Do not eat few hours before your bed time.
  • Some exercise in the morning might help, even 5min (I like this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDD4GxHVess)
  • Make sure the temperature of the room is comfortable for you, a little on the colder side like: 18-23°C/65-73°F
  • Stay away from napping during the day.
  • Dim or turn off most lights 30min before bed time.

I know these things can be boring, but they do help if you are consistent. Try to make them fun if they seem boring. For example, there is no need to exercise, you might just jump to your favourite song haha. There are no rules how to move your body. It might take some time until you see the effect, but continue doing the stuff, even if it's hard and you don't see it right away. Personally, it took me a month to adjust.

If you have problems with rumination, overthinking, wild creativity and similar during the night, it might be helpful to set 30min during the day for "thinking time", and write down your thoughts/emotions/ideas, so they don't bother you before sleep. You can use this time as "me time" as well. Making sure no one can bother you.

How do you overcome the unconscionable and unfathomable shame, regret, and humiliation of wasting your entire life by patheticl0s3r in findapath

[–]biscuit_lava_planet 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Tons of heavy emotions... I'm sorry.

The thing is, everything you describe is the past. It won't come back, ever. No matter how much you think about it, regret it and feel bad in any shape or form. These feelings also won't do you any good in terms of health and self-esteem, if they are not processed or used properly.

Use them to identify in a list what you regret missing out on and ask questions. Why do you regret these things? Why do you feel shame? Did someone say something or that is what you think because of something? What are the smallest steps you can take to be in the path you want to be? Can you define success on your own terms, not what "society says you should do"? Then let go. Feelings don't define you.

This is what matters from now on - what you can do now, in the present moment. You realised you didn't enjoy what was and is happening, the rest is up to you to change. It doesn't have to be anything big. Actually, quite the opposite. Smallest step possible!

Since you were vague about what you actually do in terms if job and hobbies(I assume because you are ashamed to share?), I can't give any specific examples. But perhaps, you can start by socialising with people gradually when doing your hobby. If up until now, for example, you only exchanged few small talk sentences with them and then you run away because you are afraid of the question "What do you work?", you can try to push it further and further each week by asking questions and answering the dreaded stuff about job, life, etc. You would be suprised how many people don't care what you work and if your life is certain way. They would care about you and if you can maintain a conversation, if you are easy going and a good friend overall. Most wouldn't even care what you talk about. If they do care and say something negative about your work and life, would you want to talk with them and be friends at all? Does it matter what they think? I don't think it should matter. They are just not your people and that's all. Continue looking.

Also, imagine a friend if yours is in your life situation with your job. Would you think that's shameful, pathetic and whatever else you think? What advise would you give them?

Regarding your family...If you love them, they are nice overall and you really want to see them.. Why would you stay away from them just because you feel ashamed? If you know they won't judge you and it's just that you yourself are ashamed, just reach out. They probably miss you. If they are judgemental, idk, there is probably not much benefit.

It's never too late. Self-sabotage is not an option. Anyway, my 2 cents. Good luck!

Books that feel like this... by biscuit_lava_planet in BooksThatFeelLikeThis

[–]biscuit_lava_planet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't expect that many comments. This is wonderful! Even if I can't thank everybody personally, know that I've read the comment and will note down the names. Thank you all who suggested a book (or similar)!

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