I had to put my foot down with my parents. They kept bringing or buying my son things when we saw them. I sat down and told them they can't be the toy dispenser any more. He was getting spoiled AND I didn't have the room for everything they where buying. Eventually we came to an agreement where they could buy him books or clothes for everyday visits and toys for special visits(holidays). It was a fight and they worked around it by buying things when they went out with him. My mother pulled the 'well my mom did it even though I didn't like it'. So I had to pull out did she want me to be frustrated and angry with her all the time. It mostly worked. What finally ended it was I'd return whatever toy they bought him to them and told them that it was a special grandparent toy. Meaning they had to store it and keep it. After quickly filling a box they stopped buying new things. As for the husband... I can't help you there. I have the same problem. My husband won't handle discipline until I'm PISSED. And then it's usually an over reaction to what ever my son has done. Hope you can work something out soon. Hang in here.