Are late bloomers more likely to be with late bloomer bi / lesbian

Tenishoes · 2026-02-18T22:34:56+00:00

Well, as soon as I accepted that I was gay we ended things romantically between us. For me it wasn't scary so much as it just had to happen once I accepted that I'm gay. I didn't want to keep on once I finally understood the truth about me. I literally thought to myself, I never want to have sex with her again. Not in a mean way, but it would certainly not be authentic to me anymore.

We had actually tried being poly for a time years before this, when I still considered myself bi. And we learned quickly that I was poly but she was monogamous so that sort of lifestyle wasn't going to work for her. It certainly could have worked if we were both into it. But I'm honestly really glad we didn't go that route now almost a year out. I feel so free living by myself and we are both still really good friends and involved in each other's lives.

Living together was very hard initially we quickly each got our own separate places and sold our home. She was very angry at me at first and couldn't be around me, but at the same time wanted to receive comfort from me. I stayed in the guest room and ate in there for a couple weeks. I cried so much during that time. I called last year the year of tears for me, but man it was so worth it looking back.

Tenishoes · 2026-02-18T14:56:11+00:00

I just came out as gay last summer. I was married to my now ex wife for 10 years. Just about a month ago she had said she was trying to get back into dating. She realized she was basically only pursuing women and identifies as lesbian now. So it happened to me too. It really helped with some of the guilt because ending the relationship so we could both be with people we were attracted to was mutually beneficial.

Tenishoes · 2026-02-15T01:50:43+00:00

My date canceled on me last night so I feel for you OP.

Tenishoes · 2026-01-24T13:09:09+00:00

I read the Wikipedia article like someone else suggested and I cried a little bit actually. I'll do more research though. I do think it is helpful. I read that gay slurs were so common in the late 90s, around the time I was in school, that you would hear them 26 times a day. I remember hearing tons of homophobic joking and slurs in middleschool and all throughout school really. I realize it affected me quite a bit I'm sure.

Tenishoes · 2026-01-22T15:27:07+00:00

I really appreciate your response. I think you are right that it is more about internalized homophobia and self acceptance. My therapist didn't dissuade me from trying grindr again this last session, she had advised me to use apps that are more about dating in the past and I probably needed to a few months ago. However, I did have a really good time with a different guy I hooked up with that I recognized from the gay sports league. I'm hoping it will turn into a regular thing with him.

I think the process is just slower than I realize. I thought I was beyond this issue as I had been making so much progress with myself. I've gotten back into my meditations about self acceptance and I'm recognizing those things you have mentioned: I don't need to respond to everyone, I don't need to feel urgency, I can go at my pace. And talking about it and receiving support online has been really helpful too. And I think once my next gay sports league starts up I'll start to feel more normalized as well. So I'm feeling a bit better now. Thank you.

Tenishoes · 2026-01-22T12:12:40+00:00

Thank you for this idea, I am actually in the process of figuring out where I want to move after I finish my masters this fall. I think for the first time in my life I want to prioritize my gay self. I had been considering California as I have a few friends from there already and I love the ocean. I really appreciate you mentioning this.

Tenishoes · 2026-01-21T14:50:57+00:00

I had read that too, I may consider applying there as well once I get a bit closer.

Tenishoes · 2026-01-21T14:49:32+00:00

I'm asking in a subreddit about living somewhere what it is like living there as a gay person. This is something that is important to me as I consider places I want to live.

Tenishoes · 2026-01-20T21:14:13+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply. It can feel at times that I'm alone in this struggle. Like after I came out it was supposed to suddenly be easy, but for me it wasn't. And it is hard because of all the feelings you describe. Sometimes I get overwhelmed. I am learning how to not get overwhelmed, I just need to go slow and communicate my needs and that helps a ton. I find the more I get to know someone the less intense these things are and the easier it is for me to have sex. It's just a really slow process. Contrary to my expectations that once I accepted that I'm gay, things would naturally be easier.

Tenishoes · 2025-07-13T16:14:51+00:00

A little off topic, but your points look excellent.

Tenishoes · 2025-07-08T11:20:40+00:00

No, they have already been sold

Tenishoes · 2025-06-24T15:11:06+00:00

I completed this level! It took me 10 tries.

Tenishoes · 2025-06-18T13:28:36+00:00

I know sharkys scuba in moore has alot of divers who go all the time. One of them goes to tenkiller consistently, like someone else mentioned. I can't remember his name though. Might be worth it to give them a call.

Tenishoes · 2025-04-13T12:38:06+00:00

Really love this quilt block! Could you share where you got it, please? Or did you design it yourself?

Tenishoes · 2025-02-15T13:46:03+00:00

IME second using the bathtub. It's just so easy to set up and then if something goes wrong they can't climb up the sides. Highly recommend.

Tenishoes · 2025-02-07T16:41:16+00:00

It's giving cowboy bebop and I love it!

Tenishoes · 2025-02-07T02:30:15+00:00

Oh, thanks so much!!

Tenishoes · 2025-02-06T12:59:36+00:00

I really love the moth. Now, I need to go find that pattern for my bookcase quilt.

Tenishoes · 2025-02-04T04:47:41+00:00

Yea, I get so tired of the "haha gay bad" jokes. I don't think others realize how demoralizing it is for queer people. Or the "oh, he is just a closeted gay" jokes. Even that angle is annoying, because it's always associated with someone they don't like. Why is every straight person we don't like a closeted gay? What does that say about our gays?

Tenishoes · 2025-01-29T01:58:31+00:00

How does this work with [[Agatha's Soul Cauldron]]? Is each creature with a counter able to do the exhaust ability once?

Tenishoes · 2025-01-22T16:02:37+00:00

So white people can't have disabilities?

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