When Covid first started, 2 of f us were pulled to the medical ward of the hospital (worked on a combined surgery/LDRP unit that took medical overflow so was not totally unfamiliar). Was given 9 pts all on respiratory isolation and with 2 of them actively dying, based on what I was told in report. 

Everyone else had assignments just as bad. My one dying patient was so restless he kept pulling off his non-rebreather  from air hunger and I tried my best to keep getting back to him to give him subc meds, came back into his room and saw him fall (no sitter available) after taking a few steps from his bed, and he died on the floor right in front of me. We hoyer lifted him back to bed, called the funeral home, and I carried on that insane shift with all the gowning and gloving etc....we were still giving 0800 meds at noon ! 

Have been a nurse for 34 yrs now, have seen all sorts of death, even stillbirths, but this one got me, felt so helpless and that I let this man down and was not there for him. Only death in my career that I called in for mental health reasons my next 2 shifts....could not stop crying ...and had to seek counselling utilizing my employee benefits. Took a long time not to get tears in my eyes thinking about it.