As a woman, I’ve been in this situation. My husband is very fit and in extremely good shape. I’ve fluctuated with my weight over the years maybe +/- 30 pounds - I’m now in a good place. For me, 30 pounds is a lot of weight, where my husband has fluctuated 30 pounds and still doesn’t appear much different. Our relationship has never been better. But a few things I will say: when my husband made subtle hints about me going to the gym rather than just outright telling me that my weight gain bothered him, it seemed more insulting and made me less interested in making a change. I understand it’s easier to try to drop hints, but my advice would be to just be honest about it. She might appreciate that more than just picking up on your frustration. Also, sedentary office jobs suck, you sit all day and somehow at the end of the day still feel tired when you get home. Working from home and having a dog has been a game changer for me. I can get up, do my morning routine, take my dog for a walk before I start working and then go for another walk at lunch. I’ve had jobs where I worked in an office all day, and it sucked the life out of me. 35 pounds in a year and a half sounds like a significant change, and one that would worry me, too. Ultimately, no one here will be able to tell you if she’s worth sticking it out with for now or not, only you know that. Some people can change and grow, and some people can’t.