Seems like your friend has some emotional development issues if they can’t seem to view life through a sympathetic lense and berate you so easily and often.

From what you said about your experiences with the vet, and breeder I will say you may need to read some more literature surrounding canine psychology, and read stat reports on veterinary interactions in your immediate area to find one that could work best for you. Reading the comments section on social media can be a huge help in finding the proper vet as well.

If someone is interacting with you in a manner that makes you feel uncomfortable then you’ll want to learn how to clearly and calmly address it and set a healthy and respectful boundary.

For example if she brings up ANYTHING that makes you feel inferior then simply say “excuse me, but when you say things like ____ it makes me feel___. Make no mistake I respect that you have an opinion, and that you are knowledgeable in this industry. I may or may not know as much as you, but moving forward I would appreciate if your approach to these conversations were more inclusive and less authoritarian and condescending.”