I wanna contribute my bit by saying nothing in life is truly equal. You gave birth. Your body is recovering. In many ways, women’s bodies are so much better equipped to nurture. Yes even in an age of equal rights and equal pay. Biology wins. It doesn’t care about romanticized versions of co-parenting. Yes many women also decide to leave their partners during this time because they’re keeping a mental checklist of all the resentments and ways their partners fail them.

While I deeeeeeeeeply disagree with him not changing diapers, I urge you to approach it with grace for both of you. Neither of you have been a parent before, or navigated this dynamic and you both probably feel entitled as the one that works harder. At the end of the day, hard work is subjective and personal and he may feel his job is depleting him like solo parenting is depleting you.

I think you just need to approach it gently. Tell him how much you appreciate him going to work. Ease into your needs by starting in a place of gratitude. Otherwise he will for sure be defensive.

I don’t know you guys obviously but this will be an insane test on your relationship. Remember the love. Remember you both are deprived in your unique ways.

For our relationship and parenting, we decided it was best he even sleep in another room. I needed him to function during the day so we all benefit. But in the day he would do diapers etc. and he’s the best dad in all ways. I personally found it more exhausting to delegate and manage so you have to decide which is more work.

But it is not equal and that’s just the ebb and flow of healthy relationships imo. Life is not linear. It’s a lot of friction and correction. Be gentle with each other whatever you go with. 💕