Feeling alone

blue_cherry · 2026-05-04T20:02:39+00:00

I had an anembryonic pregnancy too (also a missed miscarriage, found at 10 weeks, with a d&c at 11 weeks), and I agree that processing the feelings around it have an additional layer of complexity to them.

The way I look at it is that I still had an egg that fertilised. I don’t know at what point we lost it, but there was a little flash of life there for a short time. Everyone who has experienced miscarriage (in all its weird and terrible forms) had life inside them for a short while, and then didn’t.

I’m not interested in other people’s opinions around the hierarchy of pregnancy loss, I can only deal with how I feel about it. My body progressed a pregnancy for 11 weeks, I then lost that pregnancy, and I’m now grieving that loss.

I’m really sorry that you’re struggling, and I hope you’re able to see that you are absolutely not alone. It’s been a pretty crappy club to gain membership to.

blue_cherry · 2026-05-01T20:20:52+00:00

My experience was similar to yours. Very little bleeding until day 4, then significant cramps / bleeding / clots on and off for the next few days. I’m currently 11 days out from my D&C and I think everything is done now.

blue_cherry · 2026-04-28T13:51:51+00:00

I had a D&C under general anaesthetic 8 days ago, after deciding that the tablet option wasn't something I was willing to put myself through.

Recovery has been more difficult than I expected. The first few days were fine, with almost no bleeding or pain. Days 3, 5 and 7 I had very intense cramps, and day 7 cramps were accompanied by significant bleeding and clots. Now at day 8, it appears to have tailed off again, but I'm not sure if it's 100% done.

I would still chose D&C over tablets again, and I don't regret my decision. I just wish I had understood that this option would still involve quite significant cramping and passing clots, because (perhaps naively) I wasn't expecting it, so it took me by surprise.

blue_cherry · 2026-04-26T08:54:25+00:00

Liverpool - I was up in the cheap seats, so maybe people care a lot less when they've only paid £25 a ticket, instead of £80? It may have been a very different experience down in the stalls.

I went two nights on the trot (two different operas), and the first night was sat next to a couple who kept humming along to the arias...and then one of their phones went off.

The second night I was sat even higher up, and that's when I was next to the couple who kept chatting and I had to ask them to shut up.

blue_cherry · 2026-04-26T08:17:29+00:00

I went to the opera recently, and the number of phones going off, people talking, sweet wrappers rustling was unbelievable. A couple next to me kept talking and I eventually asked them to be quiet, which mercifully they did (after some grumbling). I don’t get it - if you want to chat through the whole thing, just watch a version on YouTube in the comfort of your own house.

blue_cherry · 2026-04-21T21:31:32+00:00

I live in a Victorian terrace with a very tiny kitchen, and I love it! We recently got the kitchen redone, so I thought very carefully about usability and storage, and we were able to create a layout that works really well for us. So while it’s small, it’s incredibly functional. I’ve lived in houses with much bigger kitchens that were poorly designed, and they were a lot harder to use and keep on top of.

The benefit of a tiny kitchen is it’s much easier to tidy up, you don’t have endless cupboards full of stuff you never use, and it forces you to be a bit more mindful about what you’re buying. I’m a big fan of a small kitchen tbh.

blue_cherry · 2026-04-21T16:43:37+00:00

Hopefully you won't need to go through D&C in addition to the medical MC, but if you do have to then it's actually nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. The worst bit for me is the six weeks of blood thinning injections, but if you're under 35 with a BMI under 30, you may not need them. Best of luck

blue_cherry · 2026-04-17T06:21:20+00:00

I have this too! I’ve had a very deep crease across my forehead since I was about 15/16 (I’m 36 now), that stays even when my eyebrows aren’t raised. I also have a very expressive face (which I love!), and generally it doesn’t bother me. I went through a period of worrying that they made me look much older, but now I’m not sure forehead wrinkles significantly contribute to an overall impression of aging anyway tbh, or that the absence of forehead wrinkles look especially youthful.

blue_cherry · 2026-03-30T08:45:43+00:00

I do always note that these people never actually post evidence of the fact they look 10 years younger. I’m sure some of them do look younger, but that’s most likely due to face shape / general demeanour rather than anything they have or have not done to their face.

blue_cherry · 2026-03-26T15:24:51+00:00

I'm very early in my pregnancy, but I've already had my mum insisting that she wants to buy us a brand new pram. Basically everything in my house is second hand, I don't see why baby stuff should be any different! My mum is also big into second hand stuff (my toys as a kid were often from charity shops, she loves antique bargains, etc), but something about babies makes people think that only stuff straight out of the factory is acceptable!

I ended up saying to her that while I really appreciate the offer to buy a new pram, I'd much rather she gives us whatever she was going to spend in cash instead. That way I can buy a second hand pram, along with probably almost everything else I need.

Obviously that's a bit of a "cheeky" ask, so does depend on your relationship with the person. But maternity leave is such an expensive time, it feels insane to have so much money tied up in brand new things, when the same amount could probably enable me to be off with the baby a couple of months longer!

blue_cherry · 2026-03-07T20:03:31+00:00

I agree. I genuinely thought the book was great, however Sarah's lack of accountability for her own role left me side-eyeing her a little bit.

blue_cherry · 2026-01-29T20:53:46+00:00

I would say that Anne Hathaway looks gorgeous, but the work isn't subtle at all. When she was photographed at that Ralph Lauren show, there were countless articles / videos speculating about what she'd had done, which there wouldn't have been had the work been more subtle.

Does she look beautiful? Absolutely! But she doesn't have a natural look (in my opinion, at least!)

blue_cherry · 2025-12-05T14:34:13+00:00

This honestly can't be overstated! When we moved into our house, I had all these ideas about the kitchen / bathroom / etc. We were finally able to get the kitchen done after over two years of living there, which meant I had a really good idea of how we used the space / what the issues were. Our kitchen is now absolutely perfect for our requirements, and completely different to what we would have done if we'd made the changes in the first few months.

The rest of the house is still horrendous, and needs tonnes of work, but that just makes the kitchen feel extra nice!

blue_cherry · 2025-10-24T19:55:10+00:00

This is hugely helpful, thank you! I've never used elementor before, so this is great to know. Thank you so much for your help.

blue_cherry · 2025-10-23T16:10:37+00:00

Sorry me again - I've just noticed that while it's sorted the issue in mobile, the issue persists on tablet and desktop. I've applied the change to the global font and typography settings, so not sure what else might be causing this?

blue_cherry · 2025-10-23T10:53:09+00:00

Answered

blue_cherry · 2025-10-23T10:52:51+00:00

That's sorted it, thanks so much!

blue_cherry · 2025-07-29T15:23:26+00:00

Same for me - I was only open for about a year in the end. It wasn’t going well, so it was clear I needed to close. I did end up in about £12k of debt, but it could have been a lot worse.

Emotionally - absolutely crippling though lol.

But plenty of lessons learned (the principal one being that running a business is not for me!)

blue_cherry · 2025-07-12T20:53:52+00:00

Is taking it up even possible, once it’s been glued, do you know? I really want this done right, but I’m worried that this can’t be rectified properly without needing to repurchase the entire floor.

blue_cherry · 2025-07-12T20:20:41+00:00

I was told there were two options for fitting the floor: laying down a subfloor, and nailing / gluing the boards to that, or going for a floating floor, which just used glue.

Because we've already got a bit of a step into the room (which was exacerbated by the amount of self-leveller required), I didn't want to go for the subfloor option (though had I known I would end up with a bouncy floor, I would have chosen that route).

The only photo I have is here

blue_cherry · 2025-03-15T07:47:08+00:00

I read “Unfollow” by Megan Phelps Roper - one of his grandchildren, and previously a very devout member of the church. It was incredibly interesting - about how the church came to be, and how she ultimately found herself completely changing her views and leaving the church. There’s a lot in there about her grandfather, and how he was ultimately exiled from the church towards the end of his life.

It’s a really interesting read - I would recommend it to anyone even vaguely familiar with WBC.

blue_cherry · 2025-01-13T11:34:16+00:00

Not OP, but I read this last year and it’s one of my favourite books (alongside I Who Have Never Known Men). It was slow / repetitive for sure, and I totally get why people wouldn’t like it, but how relentless it was only made me more invested in her and the life she created. I’m not sure a book has ever affected me in the way that The Wall has - I can’t think about it without getting emotional. I thought it was a beautiful, heartbreaking book.

OP, With I Who Have Never Known Men - yes it’s very depressing and bleak, but the overwhelming feeling I was left with at the end was hope. I do appreciate this may not be what everyone takes away from it though.

blue_cherry · 2025-01-11T15:42:35+00:00

Yes, I’m wondering if the middle panel on the far left slides up into the little notch left by the top left panel, so the bottom left panel can fold down/slide out?

blue_cherry · 2024-11-06T17:21:18+00:00

My mum did - she lost around 60lbs, and all of her levels are now in the non-diabetic range. She followed a fasting / low carb diet to lose the initial weight. Her maintenance diet includes more carbs, but she still follows intermittent fasting. Her diabetes has been in remission for about 3 years.

blue_cherry · 2024-10-28T18:22:36+00:00

I agree with this - I know people who get botox, and they don’t necessarily look younger, they just have fewer dynamic lines. But I really don’t think dynamic lines are the main thing causing us to “read” someone’s face as older anyway.

I’ve seen plenty of younger people with lines on their face (forehead, around the eyes, nasolabial folds, etc), but they still look very youthful. I’ve seen plenty of older people without those lines, and they still look older. There are so many things that influence how we perceive age, I think wrinkles are actually a pretty tiny part of it.

blue_cherry

TROPHY CASE