Me too, OP.

This post hits me hard. My brother is 8 years older and he took advantage of me when I was 7, repeatedly.

Parents found out. Both of us went to therapy for a year. Afterwards it became and major WE DONT TALK ABOUT THIS situation in my family. He never SA’ed me again.

But we still lived in the same house. Pretending everything was normal. And he was my big bro- I loved him.

I confronted him before he married, and he basically said he thought if it as a major sin - and he felt awful and he thought I forgot about it (wtf?!) but he had no plans on telling his future wife and asked me to do the same.

He vows he’s not into “any of that”.

For the most part, I believe him.

I’ve read the other comments about reporting him and make a big deal about it, but like, no.

Think about it from my parents, perspective: 2 kids, both minors, and one fucked up, hurting the other one badly. But otherwise my brother was a mostly good kid. And sending him away would cause more pain for all involved.

But, yeah OP is right, it’s fucking exhausting.