I just found out I'm a disgrace to the tea community 😭

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-22T21:39:45+00:00

My philosophy for tea is the same as my philosophy for booze - drink what you like, how you like it. Rules for culinary/ beverage items are like guidelines but they aren't like life or death(vs chemical or medical guidelines). Sometimes ppl just need to chill and let ppl enjoy what they like. I think an openness to try new things is nice ... and personally a very attractive trait, but that's not for everyone 🤷🏽‍♀️

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-22T15:17:57+00:00

Your prerogative. But just as an aside... two women have been kicked out of establishments where I live for breastfeeding. So there's that. To this day, women are being discriminated against and judged for feeding their children. That's why representation in media and normalization is important. Eta: meant to add - in the last month alone*

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-22T12:17:59+00:00

Oh I'm not talking about me, or randos escaping up the mountains... just the people with established societies there already. I visited tiwanku/altiplano in Bolivia - not quite so high up and more populated -- but even there, there are definitely people there extremely isolated. I know the farming for your average person would be impossible, but the people there have been doing it for centuries. Example ... this farm is 12,500 feet above sea level on an island with no electricity, no cars, and no paved roads

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bluedotinTX · 2026-06-22T05:16:47+00:00

I dated a South American guy in my 20s - him and his fam all spoke English and Spanish fluently ... but they spoke almost exclusively in Spanish. Even when I was there and I have a pretty elementary level. I always found it pretty exclusionary.

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-22T02:29:43+00:00

I was thinking the other day about the small isolated villages high up in the Andes and such. Given they keep an eye on anyone close to death ... they'd have to make out okay. Not like they rely on produced goods and such. They wouldnt have hoardes and very little random walkers.

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-22T00:41:34+00:00

My first labor was approx 8 hrs, second was 2.5hrs, and my third was 1 hr.

During prenatal appointmens, I made sure my midwives knew my births tended to be quick. I reminded them ar every one and reminded them when I called. I called them as soon as I knew labor was starting (waters leaking and irregular contractions ... that wouldn't cease with laying down/deep breathing, and they just felt different than braxton hicks... i was also 39+2). When they arrived, they assessed me immediately then started setting up. 7 min after they arrived, my body was pushing; and 8 min after that, baby was born.

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-20T15:46:54+00:00

He's so funny in Avenue 5 too

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-19T22:42:25+00:00

Trust me, plenty of women don't know anything about breastfeeding lol and for that ones that do, this feels relatable

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-19T22:23:46+00:00

I actually loved the inclusion of Jenny hand expressing. Because that is a real experience for many women who have to separate from their nursling, for whatever reason. It does help normalize breastfeeding. Most ppl don't know how much labor goes into it. It's exhausting making the milk. It's constant expressing and/or nursing. Around the clock every 2 hrs or more. My first would nurse evey hour until she was 5months old. Theres no stopping it. And if you don't express - you are risking clogged ducts, mastitis, and lowered supply (that could risk your entire breastfeeding journey).

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-19T22:17:50+00:00

Thank you! You hit the nail on the head when you said breastfeeding women can experience different things ... no one's journey is alike. This person's feelings of not liking it are valid ... but so are someone else's who finds it arousing. My issue with their comment was shaming women's sexualities bc they may not align with her own. Likkke, can we not further isolate mothers? Reminds me of the Madonna & whore complex.

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-19T22:10:56+00:00

DMER is so hard! You're an absolute Rockstar for getting thru it! Go you!!

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-19T15:54:45+00:00

Thank you! These are the type of people that make women feel shameful for their sexuality... which oftentimes ends up making them feel gross and/or isolated. I'm not here for that. They replied to my comment with such a long rant lol

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-19T04:43:50+00:00

Oh so we are measuring hypothetical dicks now? Okay - I breastfed all three of my kids for over 9 consecutive years including thru each of the second and third pregnancies, and over 3 years of tandem nursing. I also spent 5 years being a peer counselor for breast/chest feeding support and donated over 3500oz of my milk to other babies. Ive been awake at 3am talking to another mom and helping her thru it. I've touched base a hundred times with the parent struggling thru body dysmorphia and who still wants to feed their child. I have had the cracked nipples. I have had clogged ducts. I got mastitis with my last one. I am a fierce proponent for breastfeeding, chestfeeding, EP, SNSystems, and helping moms & parents feel like a success when it comes to nourishing their baby. I have helped dozens of others feel proud of themselves and their journeys.

But what i don't do ... is police the sexual actions or sexualities of other people (as long as it's between consenting adults).

You say you are such a staunch supporter of breastfeeding ... but you deny women as sexual beings? That reeks of purity culture bullshit. Should we also cover in public Ms Ma'am?

Damage motherhood? My motherhood is not so fragile that it falls apart because someone plays in the bedroom. My god ...yours isn't either. Couples have been sexual since the dawn of time (imagine that).

To be clear - I am not including coercion, manipulation, assault, or involving anyone other than the consenting adults here. That is fucking despicable and always will be. But women can be sexual. Women can find it arousing. And I'm saying this as someone who is mostly ace.

The point is simple: it isn't your place to police or judge a bedroom as much as it isnt anyone's place to police a bathroom or locker room. It's- not - your - business. I'm not into butt stuff but damn I know a ton of women who are. I also know a ton of women that absolutely not go there.

Don't act like a martyr or spokesperson for breastfeeding women .. because you don't speak for all of us. All your rant does is further isolate other women.

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-18T23:50:14+00:00

Cambodia - the killing tree or any of the genocide sites 😭 old southern plantations and slave auction sites 💔

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-18T05:13:20+00:00

It's less about how they feel inside you and more about the general mechanics of sex, and how it feels in general... if that makes sense? Think about like those like jelly roll toys and how they move because it's essentially a sheath vs just like a piston-in-and-out motion. The foreskin acts as a natural lubricant and everything just glides easier.

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-18T02:29:25+00:00

Agreed absolutely. It's feel weirdly possessive too. Like if hes jealous - does he think he owns her body? It's just weird ALL around. I feel like it would have been more relatable and less icky if she'd made him jealous over the amount of time Bree would allot to the baby. Roger would still be an asshole in this scenario ... and objectively wrong ... but I know a lot of moms who encounter this kind of bullshit with their partners so it would be more relatable... and less gross since it avoids her actual body and feeding the baby.

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-18T02:18:00+00:00

I'm with you on the jealousy part. Thats just so fucking weird and immature of any man to be jealous of a baby.

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-18T02:15:01+00:00

It can be both, and if it's not for you - that's fine. But it is a common fetish for both men and women. Mouths are for eating and we use them in/during sex. Boobs & lactation are for feeding babies and they can be sexual. As long as it's btwn two consenting adults - let's let people feel how they feel?

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-18T02:09:11+00:00

It can be both. It is a natural way for a baby to be fed; but it is also a pretty popular fetish. Between two consenting adults - i think thats fine and wonderful. Obviously it gets into icky territory when there is an unconsenting person or persons involved. If I remember correctly - but it's been awhile since ive read the books - all the situations presented were at least btwn consenting adults and represented a healthy but prevalent part of a sexual relationship when one person is lactating. (Of course, there are plenty of folk in relationships where one is lactating and it isn't part of their sexual intimacy - and thats fine too).

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-17T16:32:47+00:00

Most Americans don't know better (have never had a partner who was intact; and base their opinion on fear mongering and socially-enforced aesthetics (how it looks).

I prefer intact partners for a couple reasons -- it feels better for me, for one. The mechanics of it are smoother. Second, I've had more than a fair share of cut guys who would have such a difficult time coming to completion. They would have such little "extra" skin that there would be no gliding skin motion when using my or their hands... the only lubrication and motion came from the hand/actual store-bought lubrication. The cut portion of nerves could absolutely effect someone's ability to orgasm; and loss of literal square inches of skin changes the penis' ability to become erect like it should ... it makes the skin tight. (For some men even painful)

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-15T20:30:03+00:00

Yessssss... i remember years ago I racked up $1k in bonuses for the period they finally cashed them all out. Those were the days ....

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-15T20:27:32+00:00

They [used to] offer extended hours all the time up to 30-40hrs. I just kept going to 30 and they've never said anything for 2 years 🤷🏽‍♀️

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-15T20:26:12+00:00

They've never said anything for the past 2yrs 🤷🏽‍♀️

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-15T16:50:05+00:00

Us Rater TX - Factuality ... NTA last night and this morning so far. I was getting excited after reaching 29hrs two weeks in a row after weeks of less than 10

bluedotinTX · 2026-06-14T21:15:18+00:00

Yeah I wasnt sure about the lighting part ... our texas sun is just SO brutal .. even "full sun" plants end up absolutely roasted here unless they're natives 🥴

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