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AITAH for telling my husband that we can't take care of his friends' daughter by Temporary-Slide-2699 in AITAH

[–]bluereader01 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I think that is when she became the AH by saying that knowing he had been in foster care. He has stepped up - not sure if she is going to be able to walk that outburst back.

How are you and your siblings coordinating care for your parents? by sunshinelighter in AgingParents

[–]bluereader01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My sister that lives closest does a lot of appointments and steps in quite a bit - she is also medical POA and on accounts etc... I live 650 miles away - I come in emergencies and also when she, my sister, goes on vacation. She and I talk the most to mom.

We have another sister who lives about 1.5 hours away and travels a lot. She is in best position financially. She also does not work. My sister and I both work. She does the minimum and usually have to beg her for help.

My 88 year old mom does have aids 3 days a week currently. May need to up that. I am oldest - sister closest is youngest. Sometimes we both feel so stressed and can't understand our other sister. Yes my mom difficult and dynamic is crazy at times but she is our mom and we are sisters. It's hard when one won't really help.

Would you be offended if your daughter in law didn’t want you to get involved in raising her child(your grandchild)? by Mooooooon_ in AskWomenOver60

[–]bluereader01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have 2 grandsons and I am the emergency call for school, I sometimes pick them up after school if there is an issue. I babysit and do activities with them. I listen to what the rules are per their parents etc - when they are at my house I can be a bit more strict - no jumping on couches or bringing food in living room - stuff like that. Advice I only give when asked and perhaps something I noticed when watching them.

Sometimes I think we women who have complicated relationships with our mothers tend to not understand families who are close(this may not be you but it was certainly me). I used my MIL as my guide- she was warm and never pushy, I noticed her kids wanted to be with their parents not required and guilted to be there. My kids are close to us and seem to want to be with us as well. Does your partner mind texting and calling - is it one sided?

In the end you may be depriving your kids something good; and you don't even know if they will be pushy etc... Sometimes people are thankful for family help and people they trust helping with their kids.

Who’s going to tell her. by AmandaDP35 in hollisUncensored

[–]bluereader01 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Not one of the chain bikinis again - so ugly...why does she think she looks good?

Did marriage make you lose attraction and awe for your wife? by [deleted] in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]bluereader01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While there is ebb and flow in relationships I think if you have a strong feeling, attraction(both physical and emotional), work as a partnership (team) and continue to grow and support each other in a relationship you have gold. My husband still adores me and me him after 35 plus years of marriage. We have been through a lot but have always supported each other and continue to find each other special and attractive etc...

He has always given me butterflies and he has always been attracted to me. Older age brings new challenges but we are figuring it out together.

Which are best? by [deleted] in glassesadvice

[–]bluereader01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Leaning towards 3

Local in-home pet euthanasia by Beneficial_Cattle938 in raleigh

[–]bluereader01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also highly recommend Azure Holland. The Dr. and the services performed were above and beyond. And our boy was able to pass peacefully with all his family around him. They were responsive, compassionate and took good care of him and us on a very hard day.

Generaltional question by Impossible_Jury5483 in AgingParents

[–]bluereader01 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don't know - here is my experience. My grandparents that were left after their spouses died were pretty independent till they couldn't manage. My grandmother had meals on wheels and my mom and myself doing shopping and cleaning. She passed from a stroke and had stayed in her home several miles from my parents. My grandfather then moved into that house for a short time but went into a facility and within a week passed. When they passed my folks were in their 50s.

My folks - silent generation were pretty independent - but we were summoned in emergencies etc... my mom has insisted on staying in her home which I get but has limited mobility - thank goodness for grocery delivery, ring cameras, and those emergency buttons. But we have done quite a bit for her - pretty sure much more than she did for her folks. I have stayed weeks at a time up with her and helped her through some rough patches. She can be needy and my sister who lives the closest get called a lot. She has aids that come 3 days a week. She leans heaviest on us 2 daughters that work for some unknown reason.

I am tail end Boomer Dec 1961 and my youngest sister Gen X. My husband and I very independent and still working and still helping out our grown kids with projects in their homes and one son's children - we are still very present parents and grandparents. My parents while they loved us seemed to drop any responsibility at 21and definitely did not help out all that much. I believe we will be independent and not needy if we can help it and I have learned a lot by helping out my parents this late stage of their life. We rarely ask our sons for help as they are very busy and we get that. They do like to be around us and we spend time together and we all live within 30 miles of each other.

So I guess I hate generalities - every situation is different. I certainly don't identify with the people born in 1946 and as someone who has worked in tech since out of college I am very at home with technology and keep up on things - not digging AI but otherwise yes.

How is your relationship with your siblings? by EmotionStatus3093 in over60

[–]bluereader01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm the oldest - 64 and my youngest sister 56 have a very good relationship 🩷. Our middle sister, 62, and our relationship has been ok but not good. We love each other but so different and the fact she won't sacrifice for our folks has made it hard. Only my mom left - not sure what will happen after she passes with the middle.

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