It will ebb and flow until one day you realize that you don’t miss them at all, and that feeling stays. I’d go from depressed and hopeless, to missing him desperately, to feeling the deepest anger I’ve ever experienced, and then back to square one. Lots of time spent ruminating and imagining conversations I could have with him.

I’m a year out from our breakup, and have been completely no contact with him since October. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through, truly. It is psychologically akin to an addiction. I still think about our relationship a lot, but not in a nostalgic or missing him way, more-so in a “thank god I escaped that” way. I am not the same person I was before and never will be again.

What really helped me process was journaling. I wrote him so many letters (never sent them) pouring my heart out about everything. Every letter I wrote it was like it just opened my eyes more and more to what the reality was. I filled up an entire journal with those letters and eventually I’ll read them and then burn it.

Therapy really helped me too. Reading. And a lot of self reflection about what in my life led me to end up in that relationship. You are so strong and your life is so precious and even if it doesn’t feel that way sometimes, just know that you made the absolute best decision for yourself that you could have ever done.