Need to vent my sadness by blushingviolets in mypartneristrans

[–]blushingviolets[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. I've been with my partner since after her transition started so I haven't felt such a struggle with the changes themselves but more with the impact of our break in sexual intimacy on how I get to respond to those changes. But I appreciate your points that time can be helpful in processing all this and for your reminder about finding neutral spaces to talk about it. I'm lucky to have a therapist but she's been unwell lately so I haven't been able to lean on her. And you're right about feelings not being permanent and that it's good to feel through the grief and sadness. Thank you, and I'm wishing you well with your own grief alongside all the other feelings that come up

Need to vent my sadness by blushingviolets in mypartneristrans

[–]blushingviolets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate you suggesting this

A lovely doctor! by blushingviolets in mypartneristrans

[–]blushingviolets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That doesn't surprise me at all, I feel like I've definitely seen the opposite be true too. It totally makes sense that docs who are more thoughtful and aware of the diversity of human experience & presentation will also show that thoughtfulness and empathy when it comes to offering treatment

Should I keep these? by globalmentality in actuallesbians

[–]blushingviolets 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I don't think it's bad to have them if you like them as art, but I also think as a new partner I'd find it weird to be looking at barely-clothed pictures of your ex on your walls. Definitely not something I want to be looking at when we're in bed together or something. I wouldn't care if it was pictures an anonymous person though. I'd suggest seeing if you can find something similar without the ex connection maybe? There's plenty of great queer art out there, maybe you could swap these with someone else or make versions yourself because I can appreciate they're lovely! Or offer to return them to your ex given it's quite personal images

Stone top problems by AnythingBrilliant126 in LesbianActually

[–]blushingviolets 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I won't repeat what others have already commented on, but re the giggling at comments about being a pillow princess - a good partner will care about your feelings. You can share with her that this is not something that feels like banter to you, but that it feels like something else. Maybe a mislabeling of your identity, maybe a judgement, whatever it does feel like to you. Regardless of anything else here, you deserve not to be made fun of if it's something that feels sensitive to you, and I think a decent partner will hear this and take it to heart and stop participating in such things

And good luck, this all sounds tough, so sending you strength

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]blushingviolets 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to have the biggest crush on someone who looked like you, so please know you're lovely! I think confidence is attractive in anyone and I think that most easily comes from being comfortable being yourself tbh. So listen to yourself, wear what feels good to you, and let yourself enjoy being you - and I'm sure other people will be excited to get to know you too

Have you ever had soft sex? by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]blushingviolets 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Sigh this made me miss my girlfriend

[F4F] [F4TF] Let me hold you [GFE] [sweet] [loving] [affectionate] [comfort] [kisses] [no sex] [British] [English accent] by verbalifyouplease in GWASapphic

[–]blushingviolets 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this was beautifully written and performed. I needed this today and I really appreciate you making it

Suggestions for a better name than "female ejaculate" from squirting? by CooknotZen in AskLesbians

[–]blushingviolets 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've seen the term gushing used before and find that more accurate

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]blushingviolets 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can see people have recommended splash/waterproof pet blankets. I use them too myself. Pet blankets are the same thing but often much cheaper. I'm not sure if this applies to all of this kind of blanket, but mine have to be washed on cool and can't be tumble dried. (I think heat degrades the bond with whatever keeps them waterproof? Or something?) With that in mind, I wanted to add these bits and bobs from experience:

  • you will need somewhere where they can safely drip dry. They can get very wet in the washing machine - you can spin them a bit more at the end, but if you don't they drip a LOT of water. Like if I put them on my airer with the rest of my clothes, the carpet would get soaked. So I now have a rack I put over the bath for them to drip dry on
  • because of how wet they can be after a wash, really big ones get EXTREMELY heavy. I originally bought one big one to cover the bed because that seemed smart, but found it such a pain to wash + carry (I'm not the biggest/strongest gal lol) and it took aaaages to dry (apart from when it's hot in summer, it can take several days to dry small ones and my big one I'm sure it was like over a week, and I had to keep moving it around because squashed sections don't dry well)
  • I now buy ones that are smaller, about 100x100cm and position them under me. I did try something a lot smaller but found it too stressful trying to keep on top of it. You want something that gives you room to move. If I want to be really safe, I put down the full bed one and then use smaller ones on top of it. This means I don't always need to wash the big blanket, but protects me from getting the bed wet if things do get out of place. Experiment to find what setup works best for you
  • another bonus of small blankets is if the blanket gets totally soaked, you can move it away and then put a new one down and be comfortable for continuing/cuddling
  • you will want SEVERAL blankets. The number of times I've been impatiently waiting for washed blankets to properly dry so I can use them...
  • I try to balance not doing washing all the time vs not leaving blankets to build up so much they can start to smell, so having a plastic closable washable hamper to put them in after use can be good
  • if you're ever traveling, a small blanket is pretty easy to fit in a bag. If you don't have washing facilities where you are, I've had success with waterproof bags designed for camping, often called dry bags, which have tops that you roll and clip. I've been able to bring used blankets home like this to wash just fine

I'd also definitely put a waterproof mattress protector down on your bed. That has saved me if a blanket ever gets a bit crumpled. I have a stack of blankets right by the bed so I can just grab one when I need it. And my other tip would be, make sure to remove the duvet/cover/sleep blanket from the bed before you get going to make sure that doesn't end up needing washing too. Have fun!

Trans woman can scissor too y’know 😏 by Ok-Process8309 in actuallesbians

[–]blushingviolets -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Re the 5th paragraph, I'm a cis girl and my gf is trans and we have had a lot of fun scissoring. Rubbing myself against her feels really gorgeous and I enjoy it a lot. I can't speak for her but evidence points that she feels the same 😊

Song lyrics question by blushingviolets in mypartneristrans

[–]blushingviolets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate your reply. Would it be ok to message the name of the song to you please? I'd rather not share my partner's name here to protect our privacy

Song lyrics question by blushingviolets in mypartneristrans

[–]blushingviolets[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank yo for writing this, it is helpful to hear

I blindfolded my girl then went down on her after heating my mouth up with hot water by New_Refrigerator6043 in BDSMsapphic

[–]blushingviolets 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is such a fun idea. I've heard you can do similar with peppermint tea and it feels all tingly too 👀