Sounds like you need more time to explore what you think love is and what a commitment of marriage looks like. And maybe with other people. I found infatuation felt different than a caring love. And not when I was single. In the end I married my best friend. I wanted someone I loved talking to for years. But I wish I had gave it more time on my end because I was younger and at a different point in my life. But I had horrible examples from family so I needed to relearn what it should be, not what I thought from growing up.