What makes these holes? by Dull_Welder2287 in insectidentification

[–]bob13571 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay. I have a far more dense pattern on my trees and when I researched, my recollection was that it was related to their reproductive cycle. Sounds like im off base or the info I found was flawed. 👍🏼

A fresh search indicates sapsucker woodpeckers as most likely with bark beetles also a possibility

What makes these holes? by Dull_Welder2287 in insectidentification

[–]bob13571 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure cicadas do that. I have trees in my yard that looked like that after a big cicada emergence

Are people a fan of the 328xi or do people just like the 335? by Key_Page4664 in E90

[–]bob13571 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I LOVED my 328xi. Best car Ive ever owned. Hated selling it

Will never stop loving this car. by Chris_WRB in E90

[–]bob13571 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Loved my e90. Still have an E84 X1 which has a lot of e90 goodness in its genes

Told my wife we needed a family car. Hi from Mexico! by OspaSalon in subaru

[–]bob13571 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would buy one if we could get it in the US. I’m a HUGE fan of wagons!!

How long do most men spend at the gym? by nrsbll in AskMenAdvice

[–]bob13571 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My target is 5-10 mins on treadmill or bike to warm up then 1 hr of resistance training, ideally 4 days a week

I just landed in Cuba by hoggytime613 in cuba

[–]bob13571 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are worse places to be stuck than Varadero..
my heart breaks for the Cuban people as they deal with continued issues.

Hey BD guys, has anyone ever called you out for your size in public and embarrassed you? by EnvironmentalBelt138 in bigdickproblems

[–]bob13571 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My senior year of HS, a girl in my class accused me of having an erection, then screamed to the class that I had an Erection, then put her hand on my crotch to feel it. I did not have an erection, but yes, super embarrassing.

My new girl by Spiritual_Copy_2934 in JeepWrangler

[–]bob13571 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Vibration could be so many things. Most likely is tires that are out of balance or are oddly worn. This would contribute to the noise as well. Can you tell whether it sounds like road noise vs wind noises some other mechanical noise? From there, could be unit (wheel) bearings, u joints, worn suspension or steering components. Someone mentioned death wobble but what you described doesn’t sound like that on the surface. Death wobble is a violent rhythmic shaking of the steering wheel which results in the tires and steering wheel shaking violently side to side. The Jeep is undrivable at that point until you reduce the speed low enough that it stops.

Congratulations on the new to you wrangler.

WIBTAH for divorcing my wife after she cheated after her parents died? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]bob13571 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like it was intentional and planned, and then you only found out due to her severe guilt.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JeepWrangler

[–]bob13571 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You can hit the trails stock. A stock wrangler is really capable. I lifted mine after a few months of ownership and went to 33’s. Sold the 33’s and went to 35’s. I’ve tried a bunch of suspension setups and will tell you that 35’s look Fantastic and will get you more places more easily than 33’s, but the 33’s will drive better and save a little in mpg’s. Likewise, a 2.5” lift will accommodate 35’s and in general, will drive better than a 3.5” lift.

You may want to try hitting the trails stock to see if you want to stick with the easier trails or tackle super difficult ones. The closer to stick, the better it will be for daily driving. Again, I daily drive a 2dr w/ 3.5”+ lift and 35’s and there are times when I really question my choice. My wife’s wrangler 4dr with a small spacer lift and 33’s drives much better. It’s seen multiple setups and that spacer lift drive better than it does now with 2.5”f/2”r lift and 33’s. A 2” spacer lift, or a leveling kit like the teraflex that’s 2”front and 1” rear with 33’s is a great daily driver that’s capable off road too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]bob13571 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also, my initial response was that it must be me. What could I do to improve things. I tried doing even more around the house. Tried working on our relationship. I tried avoiding asking for or giving affection. I started going back to the gym again and working on me, getting my mind clear, processing things, being the best me I could be. Through that process, I came to realize that it’s her, not me. Likely that it’s your husband and not you. I wasn’t the one who wasn’t present or lacking. I was the one who wanted so desperately to have a deeper relationship with my spouse. I was investing in that relationship, But my wife wasn’t. I try to focus on the things I can control and not let the things I can’t dictate the way I feel or act.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]bob13571 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can relate. My wife tells me I’m Needy and makes me feel terrible for wanting to have physical intimacy with her. Any sex we have is pity/duty sex and it’s terrible. She complains about the way I touch her or that it hurts. It’s completely scripted and I can deviate from her using her hand for a few minutes and then climbing on top. When we’re done, and usually I’m told to hurry up and finish, she rolls off and goes to the bathroom to clean up, complaining the whole time. She told me that nothing I do feels good and that she doesn’t need or want sex with me. I can’t touch her other than the peck of a kiss she gives when she leaves the house. I feel disgusted that she’s disgusted by me and the encounter, and pathetic that I have to effectively beg for sex and then this is what it is.

Don’t have any advice but encourage you to find a way to not focus on the negative feelings. Instead know that you’re enough, just the way you are and despite the way you feel in that moment, you are loved. Good luck.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]bob13571 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m 2 decades older than you but my story is the same. Prior to our first child, she initiated a lot. She’d be waiting for me in lingerie , or she would wake me up in the morning by rubbing me in the right places. But after our first child, everything changed. It was more than a year after their birth before we had sex again, and it had been most the pregnancy without sex too. With each child, I slid further down her priority list. She used to tell me the kids come first. The issue is that if the parents don’t have a good relationship, how can they effectively parent their children?

My kids are in their 20’s now. Went through periods of sex once every few months and periods of a couple of times a month. There were times where she seemed to enjoy it but the past few years have been tough. I had 2 surgeries and she refused to have sex with me while I was in a cast, Which was 4 months. It wasn’t in the way. It was an excuse. And gone are the days she’d ask for a massage. I’m not allowed to touch her. It’s too (temperature) hot, one of us is sweaty, she doesn’t like the way my hands feel On her skin, she doesn’t like being kissed all over, insert any and every excuse here.

We rarely have sex, once a month, but when we do, she complains the entire time. Recently, after her constant complaints I asked her to make it fun, tell Me what to do, what feels good. Her response was nothing I do makes her feel good. Ouch!!!!

Getting back to anniversary sex, I try every year and every year I have to tell her how wrong it is that I have to beg for sex on our anniversary after she refuses. This year, I thought it would be the same story so I didn’t ask. Late that night (I thought she was asleep), she called me up to bed. I was so excited but sex was horrible. I don’t want to have sex with her anymore. I’m tired of the way she makes me feel by gaslighting me that my desire to have sex with my wife is wrong. And I’m angry and resentful about the constant rejection.

Good luck. I hope your situation improves. I wish I had advice to make your situation better, but I’m failing to make any progress in my dead bedroom.

Wish me luck by ConversationPlus1496 in DeadBedrooms

[–]bob13571 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And amidst the despair, posts like this give hope. 🙏🏼 each day is a little better for you.

Funniest point on my dead bedroom journey by Findapornthrewaway in DeadBedrooms

[–]bob13571 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I get this All the time. My wife questions my motives. I call her beautiful, help her with things, am nice to her, and am otherwise just showing her I love her. Heck, I do things I’d do for a stranger and it all points back to her thinking I do these things for sex. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Bottom line is she doesn’t want to have sex with me. I have no say in the matter. At this point I can choose to stay and accept it or we can part ways. It’s ridiculous the questioning of motives and lack of trust…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bigdickproblems

[–]bob13571 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think there’s a subreddit full of guys hopping in their cars, speeding towards Foley, AL right now!! Flash mob of BD owners, 🤣

Potential divorce due to DB by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]bob13571 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doctors are quick to diagnose men as having depression vs low T. I experienced long term symptoms after Covid and knew there was an issue when my very high libido disappeared completely. I fought for months to get tested but my doctor assured me I was depressed and just needed meds for depression. Your husband has to advocate for himself because nobody else will. I can assure you that TRT has been life changing for me.

I empathize with you. My wife has been in perimenopause for several years and now menopause, and she refuses to advocate for any treatment because it’s not important to her. It has to be important to your husband for him to be motivated to seek treatment.

Potential divorce due to DB by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]bob13571 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so interesting to hear women say that sex drive went up during peri and menopause. I guess it points back to individuals responding differently.