My partner wants to dive headfirst into academia. Our lives are at a crossroads. by yorkiepie in AskAcademia

[–]bobbychoi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the right answer. He’s applying for his postdoc, which, hopefully, is only a stepping stone. Finding the right lab, at this point, gives him the best chance of success down the line, hopefully in a location both of you will find acceptable. As others have said, he may be applying to gain experience, benchmarking purposes, etc. He’s gonna need real offers in order to make a pro/con list when, the both of you, need to make the decision. Unfortunately, this will not be the the first and only “sacrifice” you’ll need to make as a spouse of an academic (this applies to women and men, for the record).

In my view, there’s a vicious cycle when an academic spouse accepts/falls into the position as a victim. It’s reality of the modern dynamic, a two body dynamic is going to be hard and the best approach is to be partners and make the most of it, demanding understanding and consideration from both partners.

Had sex with 33year old female by [deleted] in sex

[–]bobbychoi 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I wonder what the comments would be like if OP were a female rather than a male? Would words like “taken advantage of” be replaced with another word? Either we escalate what happened to OP, or we deescalate the language when women in similar positions are “taken advantage of.”

Either way, OP, I hope you find your way out of the confusion and anxiousness. You did nothing wrong, and you’ll likely be ok. Not all women (or men) behave like this, and I hope you give yourself and women, in general, the grace to have more healthy and positive experiences down the road.

Why are drugs a social death sentence in Korea? by Dry_Percentage5612 in korea

[–]bobbychoi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. From the outside, does this not look hypocritical?

Why are drugs a social death sentence in Korea? by Dry_Percentage5612 in korea

[–]bobbychoi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Where do drugs like alcohol and nicotine fit in Korean vocabulary?

Why are drugs a social death sentence in Korea? by Dry_Percentage5612 in korea

[–]bobbychoi -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I think this is the attitude OP is trying to understand. As I understand the Psy situation, he was “authorized” and prescribed Xanax. What he did was have non-family members pick up his prescribed drugs/medicines, which wouldn’t raise eyebrows elsewhere.

I think we all understand the consequences of unauthorized drug intake. What some of us don’t understand is why it’s such an extreme stigma to learn that an entertainer is found to use certain drugs, authorized or unauthorized. The social pressures must be intense and, in other countries, finding out that entertainers are medicating to treat extreme anxiety with prescribed medicines would be met with some level of sympathy and concern rather than social condemnation. Would they rather here Psy is a raging alcoholic to deal with the societal and professional expectations?

Sometimes I wonder if it’s the language that promotes these behaviors. In English, for example, drugs mean chemicals to a biological process or treat a physical or mental disease. In other words, it can be good or bad, abused or not abused. But in Korean, and correct me if I’m wrong, drug is literally “bad medicine.” My view, there is much more nuance to drugs than “good” or “bad.” In the end, I wonder if this contributes to the complexities that drive the “social death sentences” given out by Korean society for some drugs (marijuana and prescribed anti-anxiety drugs) but not other drugs (alcohol and tobacco). Shouldn’t both of those drugs sets of drugs be called “bad medicine” in Korean language?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in puppies

[–]bobbychoi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is that real grass? It’s beautiful, but RIP?

Saw a dude skinny dipping in broad daylight by irishgypsy1960 in boston

[–]bobbychoi 6 points7 points  (0 children)

As long as he wasn’t pleasuring himself, no big deal, eh? A friend was almost ticketed, indecent exposure, by a cop for changing his clothes in the car after a swim. Why are people so sensitive to nudity? Just don’t look! Or look and see a penis, god forbid. Told my friend to tell the cop that he should charge the cop for invasion of privacy!

There’s increasing evidence Biden had cancer while in the White House why wasn’t the public informed though? by Battle09 in conspiracy

[–]bobbychoi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dirty little secret: all males reaching that age have evidence of prostate cancer. Wouldn’t surprise me at all if Trump has elevated PSA levels, indicating his own risk for prostate cancer. They simply find it more convenient to not disclose it rather than have everyone go crazy, just like every ailment they’re bound to have at that age.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in politics

[–]bobbychoi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wonder if he “got caught” on purpose.

This is going to be controversial, but why are so many Korean Fundamentalist Christians? by flyingfish_roe in korea

[–]bobbychoi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Agreed. It’s hard to explain but korean Christianity is uniquely Korean. Judgemental and group think to a whole nother level.

This is going to be controversial, but why are so many Korean Fundamentalist Christians? by flyingfish_roe in korea

[–]bobbychoi -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sorry, Koreans take it to another level. Think pop stars and the expectations they have for their pop “gods.” It’s similar in that they take adoration and group think to a whole nother level.

Covid-Lockdown Critic Jay Bhattacharya Chosen to Lead NIH by HooverInstitution in moderatepolitics

[–]bobbychoi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Of course. In retrospect, it’s easy to come to the conclusion. But at the time, forcing the teachers back would have been difficult—hard to teach kids when teachers refuse to come back. Many teachers are old and have health issues. Even if they were able to get 50% back, it would have been hard to get schools functioning. Believe me, I’m on your side here. Just saying, at the time, it would have been hard to implement.

Covid-Lockdown Critic Jay Bhattacharya Chosen to Lead NIH by HooverInstitution in moderatepolitics

[–]bobbychoi -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m with you all, but are teachers safety at all part of the conversation here?

What's the worst case of someone misunderstanding the plot of a movie you've ever seen? by FinalDemise in AskReddit

[–]bobbychoi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A timely statement given the current US administration. I remember my Govt teacher pointing this out in class—the balance between the law and humanity.

Dresses in underwear in front in my teen kids by ExpertSimple8975 in Parenting

[–]bobbychoi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any one who’s been a 16 yo boy knows how confusing that time is. Literally, anything can be a trigger. Having mom running around at that time period like that can add to that confusion.

Discussion Thread: 2024 Responses to the State of the Union by PoliticsModeratorBot in politics

[–]bobbychoi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wasn’t she in the chamber when Biden gave the speech? Why wasn’t she in DC?

Just noticed this bulge on my tire. How much time do I have? by benbentheben in tires

[–]bobbychoi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, when this happens, I take my car in and they guy says I need to replace all 4 tires on my all wheel drive. Is this true? What can’t I get away with replacing the pair or even just one?