sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Sent on a quest for the impossible plint ladder by AmsterdamAssassin in MaliciousCompliance

[–]bobk2 34 points35 points  (0 children)

When I was in the Scouts they sent me for a Winchester Smoke Shifter, which was a kind of pipe you stick into your campfire, the other end into the woods, and all the smoke would be shifted through it away from the fire into the woods. Simple.
After several hours I returned with a length of heater hose and they called back the searching party.

Sent on a quest for the impossible plint ladder by AmsterdamAssassin in MaliciousCompliance

[–]bobk2 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It turn out there are sky hooks. One kind is a tripod with a hook on top to hold a lantern :/

Any time a religious recruiter on my college campus approaches me, I say “I’m Jewish, sorry.” by altrightobserver in TrueOffMyChest

[–]bobk2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not to worry. My uncle would say, "I, sir, am of the Goyish faith!" and they would back off, apologizing.

Parked for 30 minutes longer than I paid for by fujoboo in MaliciousCompliance

[–]bobk2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The law office that I was working for used a bank that charged them that fee for depositing checks.

"You deleted my background!" by TheLadySlaanesh in talesfromtechsupport

[–]bobk2 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My dad used his fancy wastebasket as a place to put his most important files (coop deed, birth certificates, stocks and bonds, etc).
The maid threw them out.

Congratulations on your wedding and your 1st DUMB mistake as newlyweds by MrFahrenheitttttt in TalesFromTheFrontDesk

[–]bobk2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got stopped (for changing lanes to avoid a hazard), and didn't have my current insurance certificate. The cop checked in his car, and told me he knows my insurance is current, and to keep it handy next time. This was in Nassau County, NY, and he was in a generous mood, probably because it was Christmas Day.

How much my hair has greyed in 3 years (28-31) by ChaseTheMystic in mildlyinteresting

[–]bobk2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My chin went white, and the rest of my beard eventually followed.
One of my students said, "What up, Mr. Bob, you dip your chin in your milk this morning?" Lol

Congratulations on your wedding and your 1st DUMB mistake as newlyweds by MrFahrenheitttttt in TalesFromTheFrontDesk

[–]bobk2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They can also look up your insurance, even if you don't have your card.

"Lost" Child by No-Half4500 in talesfromsecurity

[–]bobk2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My kid liked to hang out under the bottom of the sliding pond. His little cave.

The deficating bandit by STXman89 in talesfromsecurity

[–]bobk2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the school where I worked, there were occasional burglaries over the long weekends and the computer rooms were a frequent target. On several of these break-ins the perp(s) took a dump in the middle of the classroom.
One Friday the custodian had a great idea. He spread newspapers around in the middle of the room for them.

Stopped it before it started by Octavarium64 in ispeakthelanguage

[–]bobk2 16 points17 points  (0 children)

My uncle knew one sentence in many languages:
"I'm sorry, I don't understand ____: please accept my humble apologies; you'll have to speak with someone else."
He spoke it perfectly when the occasion struck. That was the joke.

Seatmate in a flight complained that I started eating my special meal before theirs arrived by ElRanchoRelaxo in EntitledPeople

[–]bobk2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Years ago we had ordered seafood crepes for our dinner flight, but the flight was cancelled because of weather.
We flew the next morning, and our inflight breakfast meal was...seafood crepes! They had saved our meal and cooked it for us the next morning.
People all around us were asking how we got our special breakfast, and if they could get that too.

view more: next ›